13 Things Men Don’t Understand About Women’s Bodies

bogart4017
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 08:17 am: [report]

You are suppose to know all of these things BEFORE you move in with a woman—-especially #13 (i’m convinced all women are anemic!)

Queen Frostine
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 08:25 am: [report]

#4 Poking your finger around our belly button, even if it has a piercing in it, is pretty annoying.

Women find this annoying? Really? This is my #1 ticklish spot and my husband knows it. It’s the one place he can tickle and have me screaming with giggles.

spanishbutterfly
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 08:25 am: [report]

lol ... i agree with all but # 2 ( never a problem for me )

Ginger
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]

I kind of disagree with #3. Probably because I’ve only ever seen those entitled “I have a baby so I am special” mothers breastfeed in public. The ones who make a show of it and if anyone glances at them they either look at them like “Yes, I am a caring and devoted mother. Aren’t you?” or shoot them a dirty ‘Keep moving perv’ look.

And I fully disagree with #8. I’ve had my appendix burst and I used to have debilitating cramps. It pretty much is the same experience.

_jsw_
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 10:10 am: [report]

@Ginger: Unless I’m misreading your comment or the original post, it sounds like you agree with #8, no? Aren’t you both saying it can be excruciating?

Anyway, while I realize all people are different, that list seems like it would mostly (say, ~10 out of 13 or so, but not the same ~10 every time) apply to the vast majority of women I’ve known.

Kathls
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 10:10 am: [report]

Great list!  My favorite has to be #7—pubic hair IS a bitch to wax off .  And I’m glad I’m not the only woman who’s cold all the time.  I worked in an office where there was literally a constant war over the thermostat, the women were always cold, the guys always hot (but not in a good way though).  And #6, that should be common sense, but unfortunately is not for many a man!

ootie
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 10:13 am: [report]

My belly button=one hole I never ever ever want a finger in.

Lynn
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 11:10 am: [report]

#10!! Yes! My BF has this annoying habit of wanting to reach into my bra and play with my nipples at random times - while we’re watching morning TV and drinking coffee, or while I’m making dinner. Then when I push him away he gets seriously ticked off. But it’s INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE to have him fooling with them, and I’ve told him this, but he sees it as a personal attack or something that I don’t want him to do that. When he does that, all it makes me want to do is put on a metal breastplate and hide far away from anywhere his hands could ever find me.

Little Lamb
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 11:19 am: [report]

My fiance just bought me a Snuggie as his compromise to our thermostat disagreement.

writergirl
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 11:21 am: [report]

@Ginger—I hear you on number three.  I’ll even take that one step further.  Its *my* breasts and if I don’t want to breast feed *your* child for various reasons, I don’t expect to be subjected to a three month campaign aimed at getting me to change my mind.

All the others are spot-on.  Except the last one.  I actually generally am hot.

_jsw_
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 11:28 am: [report]

@ootie: As an ootie, that shouldn’t be a problem for you like it is with us innies.

@Lynn: Tell him he can play with your nipples any time he wants as long as you’re allowed to hold onto one of his testicles with a pair of pliers while he does so.

tweakerbell
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 11:58 am: [report]

though it didn’t occur to me right away, #4 does sort of touch on the broader issue of tickling, which is (don’t laugh) actually a serious issue for me. i effing hate being tickled… i am very ticklish, and i made the HUGE mistake of sharing this sensitive information with the Obnoxious Man-Boy i that is my significant other. he thinks it is funny to tickle me until i scream at him. he seems find it especially gratifying if i am vulnerable to a sneak attack (having been lulled into false security by a tender moment of snuggle-y bliss) and thus he is able to use his embrace to thwart my desperate struggles for escape. it makes want to knee him in the balls. no matter how many countless times i tell him, clearly and VERY firmly that i #&@$% hate it when he does this, he simply chuckles in amusement and refuses to believe that i don’t, in actuality, secretly love it. he seems to think of it as some flirty little game where he tries to get me, and i pretend to play hard to get… so of course when i say “no”, or “get off me, you sadist!” he hears, “yes! oh yes! tickle me til i piss myself!”.

Frederica Bimble
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:07 pm: [report]

Enough with the “chocolate” or “chocolate icecream” or any misconception about bodily cravings leading up to one’s period.  You may crave chocolate but it is the LAST thing you need.  You are adding to the misery.  PMS/PMT is curable - if you treat your body as it is intended.  Refined white sugar, chocolate, red meats, heavily salted foods, animal fats, dairy products (besides yoghurt) wheat (refined) are all BIG no no’s when dealing with PMS.
If you change your diet to either (a) vegetarian or if you don’t want to take that plunge then go for lots of vegetables, grains, white meats and fish and plenty of water.  Fruit is ok for a sugar fix.  Take a daily supplement of Evening Primrose Oil or Starflower Oil or a combination of both, which are sold in most health food stores.
Also, exercise, exercise, exercise does wonders for PMS.  It is time to end the myth.  PMS is real, indeed but it doesn’t HAVE to be everyone’s experience.

By following the changes above, within 3 months you will see a dramatic change in your symptoms.

Lynn
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:23 pm: [report]

@tweakerbell - I am with you! Tickling isn’t fun…it just downright PISSES me the eff OFF! I don’t know what to tell you that you might not have already tried…BF did this to me a lot in the beginning until I got angry enough times that he got the picture. I would say “I do NOT secretly love this like you must think I do, and this is NOT a flirty game for me, I f*cking hate it when you do that.”

I’m pretty quick to forgive, but I almost had to put on an act and over-emphasize how much I hated tickling before he stopped. I would yell at him, walk away in a huff, and when he would try to hug me and say something about how it was “just in fun” and try to touch me again, I would take a step back or move however I could to avoid his touch. Yeah, he got pissy at first, but I said “I’ve told you that I hate that and you keep doing that, it really pisses me off.”

Or you could just go ahead and kick him in the balls. I did that to a friend in high school. It was an accident, just a product of me flailing any way to get away from the ticking. He was pissed but you know what? I told him not to tickle me. Not my fault. He never did that again.

_jsw_
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:25 pm: [report]

@tweakerbell: As a fellow tickle-averse person (seriously), I don’t think I could be with someone I couldn’t trust to not tickle me, at least not in the way you describe. If he’s that bad at listening to you over such a simple request (don’t tickle me), then I don’t think it bodes well for the future. Whether or not he gets why you don’t like it, what should matter to him is that you don’t like it. Period.

ootie
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:29 pm: [report]

@jsw: not sure if youre joking, but ootie =/= outie.

spark
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:32 pm: [report]

@writergirl - why would you breastfeed someone else’s child in the first place?

_jsw_
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:33 pm: [report]

@ootie: I was joking. Or, well, trying to.

Ginger
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:39 pm: [report]

@jsw I wrote that about ten minutes after waking up. So you were right in saying that I meant ‘agree’ and not ‘disagree’.

@Lynn Some guys just don’t understand that nipples are the sort of sensitive where it’s a lot easier to cause pain than pleasure. And then no matter how many times you try to explain this, they just seem to think that if they keep on trying they’ll get it right eventually. Then they never do.
I’d say follow jsw’s advice on the subject.

ootie
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]

@jsw: haha sorry, sometimes i get confused on the internet

_jsw_
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 01:02 pm: [report]

@ootie: It’s OK. I’m often confused whether or not I’m around a computer.

MondimNebel
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 02:49 pm: [report]

I don’t get #10… I LOVE my nipples pinched and bitten, hard, too. It’s like “instant horny” ...my boyfriend knows this and will tweak them at inappropriate times, knowing what it does to me, because he thinks it’s funny (which, it is. cruel, but funny). It also means very little foreplay. Bite my nipples, then go for it, basically.

Red_Lady
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 04:29 pm: [report]

My guy told me that his middle school health teacher taught him #1 - guys are like light bulbs, and girls are like ovens, you gotta warm them up.  In MIDDLE SCHOOL!!  Oh well, at least he learned well

As for tickling, my guy also doesn’t believe me that I’m ticklish, though he does back off, so that’s good.  And I agree w/ what jsw said to tweakerbell.  That guy needs to listen and respect your wishes!!  It’s not like you’re making an unreasonable request, he should have no problem complying.

likeOMGkbye
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 06:11 pm: [report]

I agree that I HATE being tickled with a passion. My boyfriend tries to say “who doesn’t like to laugh, whats wrong with you” but its uncomfortable. It is involuntary laughter because I HATE ITTTT.

also, @Lynn, my boyfriend does the same thing. hes constantly reaching in and grabbing and squeezing and kneading and its so annoying. I tell him he can hold them, cuz thats comfy and I hold my own boobs all the time (weird, but whatevs) but just stop tweaking. he seems to think that just because mine are pierced its an invitation to pull on them…no no.

CatGoesNomNom
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 07:05 pm: [report]

Jessica, I love you for posting these lists. NUMBER ONE IS JUST YESSSSSSS. I have had to explain this one to more than a few guys. But in their defense, just like we women don’t know a lot about men’s bodies, I think a lot of men don’t know that women don’t get instantly horny.

tweakerbell
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 07:11 pm: [report]

@_jsw_ and Red_Lady:

i totally hear what you guys are saying, and it is something that bothers me a lot about my BF. while it sometimes seems that this tickling stuff is simply his misguided way of attempting to show affection, his unwillingness to take me seriously when i attempt to set a personal boundary (even if its about something as innocuous as tickling) is admittedly something that has shown to part of a more deep seated behavior pattern. it makes me feel violated, which, when i was describing this scenario in my previous post, led me to make an allusion to the very well known expression “‘no’ means ‘NO!’”. it is a phrase that shouln’t have to be necessary, but it is… precisely due the frequency of instances when a simple “no” is met with unapologetic disregard.
i have to confess, i felt fleetingly apprehensive when i was writing earlier, about what anybody who read it might think of me…. like, what kind of girl would put up with someone who treats them that way? but the better part of me knows that that kind of shame is only made stronger by by my silence. as i write this, i am supposed to be chipping away at the daunting task of packing up all my stuff and cleaning a year’s worth of filth from my apartment i share with ManBoy. our lease is up , and i went ahead and found myself a room to rent in a flat with a couple of other girls. i don’t know what ManBoy is planning to do, though, as he has neglected to address the the urgent issue of finding himself a new place to hang his hat.

karmakaze
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 07:27 pm: [report]

I agree totally with #4. I hate it when he does that to me and doesn’t understand why I can’t stand it! He always looks so damn offended!

DancingGeek
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 07:38 pm: [report]

ha #4 if you use your tongue not your finger, that drives me wild.

stiffinp
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 07:42 pm: [report]

Hey guys! We need to start a rebuttal list. Heres one woman might not understand about guys bodies.

1. Just because a penis is straight doesn’t mean it will always shoot piss right where we aim it. Especially after sex, the stream may come out at an angle (yes, I wipe off the toilet if I miss).

_jsw_
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 08:15 pm: [report]

@stiffinp: Of all the things they might not know, I’m not sure that needs to be on the top of the list (unless, maybe, they’re into watersports).

stiffinp
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 11:34 pm: [report]

It doesn’t have to be on top of the list. I’m just starting the list!

jfst
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 01:54 am: [report]

“1. Just because a penis is straight doesn’t mean it will always shoot piss right where we aim it. Especially after sex, the stream may come out at an angle (yes, I wipe off the toilet if I miss).”

LOL. Bathroom scene from Me,Myself and Irene.

lanceypantsy
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 02:11 pm: [report]

I hate when my bf pokes my belly button and my stomach. and he does it all the time

Penelope09
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 02:29 pm: [report]

amen to #6. doesn’t matter how many times I explain it, they just don’t get it.

_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 06:12 pm: [report]

@steven-t: You could always respond with “Yes, you are indeed phat, but, since that’s a really outdated and poseur way of saying you’re hot, why don’t you just go with ‘hot’ instead of ‘phat’, OK?”

The other option is to agree that, yes, it’s possible that there are some areas of her body which are fat, and you would like to indicate those areas by kissing everywhere that isn’t fat, and then (obviously) proceed to kiss everywhere. Of course, neither of these approaches should be used on a sibling or relative, in which case you could just reply “Damn straight. Lay off the donuts.”

pornqueen
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]

I agree with #6: just keep doing what you were doing, not faster, not slower, just keep the same pace and rhythm…pls!
#7: I like to be be bare down there, sometimes a landing strip, but most of the time, bare! So I expect them to be trimmed at least! Don’t you ladies agree?
and #9: Yes! Yes! to the spanking!!!

Beast
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 11:38 am: [report]

My fiancee loves to be spanked.. and i like to spank her *evil grin*

As a man though I can understand why we do what we do with #6.. in our minds “if she likes that if I do it faster or harder she’ll like it more” we forget that women in general like gentle things (intercourse perhaps excluded in some cases) Above all you need to tell your man what you don’t like and what you like.. we are very slow on the pickup with what you ladies think are “TOTALLY obvious body language cues”. Men dont work with body language we work by talking.. and it needs to be blunt.

If your man keeps doing things you say you hate then he doesn’t respect you. I’m extremely ticklish on my feet.. and my fiancee never tries to tickle me there.. and she has said that she doesn’t want her nipples pinched very hard at all so i don’t.

Kat
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:25 pm: [report]

I am a lady, and #3 is sorta squicky. If I can’t take out my boobs and have my bf suck on them in a mall(not that I’d want to) I don’t want to see yours being nommed on by a baby. It’s just a visceral reaction, and I have a pretty weak stomach. At least don’t blame me if I vomit on/near you and your infant.

Wade
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 05:20 pm: [report]

‘kay, I’m a dude who’s ridiculously ticklish, just can’t take it, and my girlfriend takes advantage of that weakness with some regularity, reducing me with delight to a hysterical shrieking heap.  And come to think of it pretty much every girlfriend I’ve ever had has done the same thing. It drives me insane and is totally embarrassing, but I’ve kind of come to accept it as a fact of life, and I don’t even totally blame them—yes, it’s torture and it’s intolerable and they should be too full of the milk of human kindness to subject me to such a sadistic thing at such length, but my body’s programmed to laugh and smile and generally respond in a way that encourages the ticklers to continue their behavior, so I can kinda see why it becomes a hobby.  There’s a definite evolutionary cognitive dissonance at work there.  I do wish she wouldn’t do it to me in public, though.

Meanwhile, speaking of public: I don’t see anything wrong with breast-feeding, esp. since the women I know who do it in public are pretty discreet.

Dean Sellers
wrote on September 8 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]

I already knew these things.  Why?

1.  My wife told me.
2.  I listened.

(Two things that don’t happen enough in a marriage.)

And regarding number 7. above - I AM a very lucky boy!  I don’t mind armpit hair, leg hair, or even uni-brows.  However, I find the nether-hair to be quite un-erotic.  (Thanks sweetie!)

To be fair, she didn’t like the hair on my back, so it gets waxed regularly too.  (What’s good for the goose…)

Miss Mia
wrote on September 21 2009 @ 11:31 pm: [report]

@ Dean Sellers. Thats great and I agree those are 2 things that should be more commonplace.

When the hair is there, they notice. When its waxed, they don’t care to notice. I actually don’t mind bare down there. The first time I went completely bare I did it for him but now I do it for myself. It doesn’t hurt its bareable and the results are great.

#s 6,9, and 13 I couldn’t agree with more!

FriskyJuLieT
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 08:13 pm: [report]

1.  no way.  i am definitely a Microwave Libido kind of a girl. 

2.  puh!  amateurs.  practice makes perfect they say, i dont consider myself perfect - but a good BJ or FF is essential to lots of practice.  besides, i dont want a guy who shoots his load that quick.  EVER!

3.  LMAO, politely Look away - you are kidding me, right.  i have noticed this about some women whether it be breastfeeding or simply wearing a lowCut shirt - all men will LOOK and some women will too.  if this bothers you - dont do attention grabbing things in Public.  it’s public for a reason.

5.  in all Great relationships (if you feel gross about your body then say so, don’t dance around your true feelings about anything).

6.  oh no!  do me harder unless i tell you otherwise!

9.  i must be the luckiest girl alive.  spanking is as natural as breathing to my Romeo.

10.  BullShi7 ...  yes they are sensitive, but all the more reason to get rough with me.

11.  oh my gosh, that’s why he gives me foot massages - so i’ll wear heels?  i did learn something today.

12.  yep, i am the Luckiest girl alive.

HDS1963
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 02:05 am: [report]

#7 - so don’t do it then. But then I personally don’t like the bald look anyway. I want a woman to look like a woman not like a six year old.

MondimNebel
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 05:25 am: [report]

@ HDS1963 - It’s a pain in the neck to do (like the list says) but it feels much better both walking around and during sex (esp. oral). Shaving legs is also a huge pain in the butt. Also- if you think being completely waxed/shaved makes a woman look like a girl, then you’ve never seen what a girl looks like.

Britterbugg
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 12:42 am: [report]

#6 and #10, so true!

My boyfriend has two bad habits: Doing something that feels good, and then switching to something else, and going in for a feel (which I don’t mind ) and playing with my nipples (which I do mind). I tell him every time that the nipples are off-limits unless we are being intimate, but he thinks it’s funny to play with them anyways.

Xfadeld
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 10:08 am: [report]

Lol, Im sorry but im 19 and everything on this list has been obvious to me since the first time I had sex. Not trying to diss on the list but I expected different things. These are kinda just obvious curtious things.

muzician
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 09:51 pm: [report]

No joke… I fainted once from PMS pain

Yodar Critch
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 12:24 pm: [report]

“Nature intended for our boobs to feed squalling infants, not just solely for your visual enjoyment. So, don’t start whining when we breastfeed our hungry babies in public, because that’s our job as moms and yours is to politely look away. “

This is a complicated issue. I don’t think too many people have a problem with women breastfeeding in public.  I don’t.

I do think that people, especially me, have a problem with those few women who make a big production social statement out of it.  A few women who will plunk themselves down where they are the center of attention, unleash the udders and then complain if someone make a comment or even looks.

Breastfeeding women should, in my opinion, take reasonable steps to be discrete about it.  This does not mean being secluded in some room, but draping the baby and perhaps moving to a seat near the edge of a room works wonders.

The attitude of “Nature intended for our boobs to feed squalling infants so we will do it in public, deal with it.” bothers me.

Nature intended my penis to either pee or impregnate any female I can get.  Does that mean that I should have the right to pee and “F” in public?  (deal with it?)

Of course not.  Those activities are deeply personal and other people should not be nonconsentually exposed to it.  Why is breast feeding different?

So yes women have the right to breast feed in public and yes the public has the right not to be exposed to it if they don’t want to.

If both sides can be reasonable about it, things will work out.  When one side makes the claim that their side has ultimate priority over the other side, that is unreasonable

Yodar Critch
wrote on November 20 2009 @ 12:27 pm: [report]

Re #10.

Women like having their nipples stimulated, but few women want their nipples to be the first thing stimulated.

It is too bad that many guys zero in on the nipples (who can really blame them), but if you really want to get your lady hummin, pouncin on the nips is not the way.

ohmegroin
wrote on November 26 2009 @ 09:26 pm: [report]

I’m so with you people on the tickling!!!

I’m unbelievably ticklish and when i’m tickled i have no control over myself, even the slightest brush along my side will have me squirming.  hence my warning to anyone that tries “Don’t tickle me or you will get hurt!” (being 6’ 4” and 24 stone helps to re-enforce this!).