Cleavage, tribal feathers, hipster glasses — oh my! All of those things have gotten students in trouble at schools around the nation. Schools sure have gotten strict, some might say silly, with their rules about what students can and can’t do. Showing cleavage at prom? You know, prom, where everyone wears dresses? NOT OKAY. Wearing a Native American feather to honor your heritage during graduation? VERBOTEN! Glad to hear our nation’s educators are keeping the kiddies safe from boobies and diversity.
Here’s just a few examples of ridiculous bans on high school kids — most of them young women — around the country. After the jump, find out the stories behind these sordid tales.
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Big boobs are a blessing and a curse … mostly a curse, or so I hear. Which is why this full-body pillow called ComfyBreasts is utterly intriguing. It’s a regular full-body pillow with a section cut out for the breasts to rest. A well-endowed lady can lie face down for sleep, massages or even chiropractor appointments without painfully squishing her goods. Fantastic right? Our resident busty girl Winona is already finagling a way to buy one, so she can take a really, really long nap. [InventorSpot]
The boob tip of the day comes to us straight from a woman in San Francisco. When an argument over a parking spot in the Haight district escalated, the woman intentionally rammed her car into the man’s who would not let her have the parking spot. The woman, who was wearing a super, low-cut dress, drove away, leaving the man to deal with the accident. The victim remembered nothing. He didn’t know what kind of car she was driving, the license plate number or even what the woman looked like. He was, however, “able to give a detailed description of the suspect’s cleavage,” said the police. This is so good to know. When in doubt, use your boobs to detract from your bad behavior. I’m sure the victim will have plenty of fun picking boobs out of a police lineup. [Hypervocal] [Cleavage photo from Shutterstock]
Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon, who is totally not a perv or anything, spent 15 years studying women’s breasts, and in an up-close-and-personal way. His goal was to figure out what worked best for breasts, so he followed 330 women, measuring their breast size, shape and direction for more than a decade. His conclusion? “Medically, physiologically, anatomically” women don’t benefit from bras.
On the contrary, claims Rouillon, who is the main boob guy at University of Besançon in Besançon, France, women’s breasts just get saggier when they wear bras. But that’s only if you’re a certain kind of lady — you know, the kind with perky little tits to begin with. Rouillon admits, “It all depends on the structure of each breast. An overweight, 45-year-old woman with three kids has no business not wearing a bra.” Well, okay then. [Daily Mail; Gawker] [Breast photo from Shutterstock]
Claire Smedley’s 70 lb. boobs are the biggest in Britain. Currently a size 40MMM, her “big bubbaloobas” are still growing.
As you can imagine, her gargantuan boobs have caused her some issues. The 30-year-old erotic model says she nearly smothered her last boyfriend to death with her chest and she’s frightened she’s going to do the same to her current partner, Chris. Keep reading »
Good morning! Have you had your coffee yet? Great! Because you’ll need something in your system to help you digest these glorious photos of Brazilian “model” Sabrina Boing Boing breastfeeding a calf. Ms. Boing Boing, whose chief talent appears to be hiring herself out as a Pamela Anderson impersonator, posted the photos on Instagram, with the caption (translated from the Brazilian) “some things don’t need to make sense, just worth it!” Yes, just worth it.
This isn’t Boing Boing’s first erotic foray to the petting zoo. Last week, she posted topless photos of herself about to feed an ostrich, too. (Picture of that after the jump) Somebody get this woman a TV show. [Huffington Post]
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If I work really hard, I can almost convince myself that these Barbie boob necklaces are funky and irreverent and cool, but then I remember they’re made from disembodied doll parts, and get creeped out. If that wasn’t bad enough, I can only imagine that adding a second pair of boobs to my chest area would exponentially increase the amount of times I’d need to say, “Dude, my eyes are up here.” [Pinterest, You Are Drunk]