Breasts, boobs, tits, tatas, jugs, melons, knockers, rack — there are about as many nicknames as there are ways to show your appreciation for our golden globes. In the immortal words of Simple Minds: “Don’t you forget about me…” Seriously, fellas, you can go down on me for hours, but if you don’t touch my boobs, I won’t be satisfied. Unfortunately, every gal has got a story to tell about some boob hound who did her knockers wrong. So, let’s sit down for a little titty straight talk.
Like my filthy mouth? Check out more Funny Girl Sex Guide videos by subscribing to our YouTube channel!
We are at odds in The Frisky’s office about the bouncy boob castle, which will appear at The Museum of Sex in New York City (incidentally, down the street from us) beginning June 26th. The Freudian wonderland is a creation of Bompas & Parr, London-based conceptual artists. Everyone but me wants to hop around on those tatas with wild abandon. What can I say? Nipples read as “sensitive” to me — I’d rather hop all over an inflatable butt bouncy castle. Next exhibit? [Paper Mag]
Let no one say Rumer Willis is not dedicated to the cause. The cause, remember, is letting nipples be freeeee. Weeks after her sister Scout Willis paraded around New York City topless, last night Rumer kept a shirt on but the girls still out on the red carpet. The cause? A fundraiser for “Free The Nipple,” a film made by their friend (left), actress Lina Esco. As if this all wasn’t weird enough, Russell Simmons hosted and Chris Brown’s girlfriend Karrueche Tran attended. Keep fighting the good fight, Willis sisters! [Image via Getty]
Fashion mogul Diane von Furstenberg told NYMag.com’s The Cut that women over a certain age should not go sans shirt. The site asked what she thought about Instagram’s policy on female nudity, which has been debated heavily lately after Scout Willis went topless in New York to protest the app’s banning of female breasts. Read more on The Gloss…
Ladies (and gentlemen), let’s talk about boobs.
Specifically, let’s talk about boob acceptance. Yes, I said it: boob acceptance. Because so many companies want us to feel bad about our boobs. The media is so ready to rate actresses based on cup size. Magazines tell small-chested ladies not to wear bandeau bathing suit tops because it’s not “flattering” — flattering meaning “big breasted.” (More on this later.)
There’s nothing wrong with having big breasts. And there’s nothing wrong with having small breasts, either. Keep reading »
Let me be straight with you guys: I’m a bit of a truther when it comes to celebrities. I assume most things they do are PR stunts because I am cynical and don’t trust famous people. Therefore, when I saw that Glee star Lea Michele had a “nip slip” on the set of her new music video, “On My Way.” Read more on The Gloss… [Photo: INF Daily]
Got small boobs? Wear ‘em with pride! Kendall Jenner was spotted out at Coachella in this “I Have No Tits” sweatshirt, which is available for purchase at Red Bubble for a mere $47.01 (a penny for your penny-sized nipples!). Got large boobs? I totally support you wearing this sweatshirt sarcastically. [Red Bubble] [Photo: Pacific Coast News]
They’ve made her a lot of money, but Kate Upton still wishes her boobs were not quite so substantial, “I wish I had smaller boobs every day of my life. I love to wear spaghetti tops braless or go for the smallest bikini designs,” the swimsuit model told The Sun on Sunday. Cue the violin. Read more about Kate Upton’s boobs on Celebuzz…
Last night on the way home from work, a bag containing the contents of my desk broke as I was getting off the subway. In that bag was a giant, rubber boob that Amelia had given me as a going away present. Just to be clear, I don’t normally travel with a rubber breast in my bag. This was a special occasion. Well, the tit fell out my bag, onto the platform, bounced once and then slowly rolled away. A nice man rushed to help me pick everything up. Unknowingly, he grabbed the rubber tit, looked at it, looked at me, and carefully set it back on the subway platform (nipple side down), with a look that said, I have just been an accidental perv.
“Oh, that’s a gift from my coworkers,” I said, as if that would smooth everything over.
He then proceeded to walk away from me as quickly as possible.
This is an example of an awkward boob situation that most women have NOT experienced. Lucky you! But here are a bunch of uncomfortable boob moments that I’m sure you’re all too familiar with… Keep reading »