The Things Men Will Do To Get Hard
Posted by: Annika Harris
Filed in:
sex
6:00AM, Wednesday July 8th 2009
Most women, at some point in their lives, have tried to get with a guy whose equipment didn’t work. And if she loved him, or even liked him enough to make another date, she probably didn’t take a sledge hammer to his ego. But that probably didn’t stop him from beating himself up and considering some drastic measures to make sure his Johnson stands at attention when desired. After the jump, the drastic things men will do to get and stay hard.
- Four burglars broke into the Bayer AG headquarters in Germany recently. They didn’t steal the formula to popular medicines or expensive equipment. Instead, the gang took $6.9 million-worth of Levitra pills. As you probably know from all the annoying commercials, Levitra is a potency pill used by men to fight erectile dysfunction. The burglars got away with two barrels full of 320,000 pills. That’s a lot of erections! Bayer has offered a 20,000-euro reward for information leading to the arrest of the perpetrators or recovery of more than half of the stolen swag. The Levitra pills will probably be sold on the black market, but I bet one of the four experimented just a little. [Reuters]
- Men in Malaysia could become the Levitra burglars’ first clients because they can no longer get their Viagra-laced coffee. Authorities from the Health Ministry recently raided a direct-selling company that was distributing sachets of a coffee-mixture that promised to “perk up” drinkers. The coffee contained sildenafil, more commonly known as Viagra. Viagra, like Levitra, should only be taken under doctor supervision. A spokesman for the ministry said the company used individuals to sell small quantities to avoid alerting authorities. [Impact Lab]
- And to think, all these men needed to do was eat a bull penis to get hard. Well that’s according to an ancient Chinese belief, which claims the penis of a bull will boost a man’s blood flow and stamina for sex. The Chinese believe that what you eat is what you treat, so if a man eats an animal penis, then he is treating his own penis. As soon as the bull penis hits the tongue, the meat jump starts the brain and enhances the sexual urge, says one expert. Sounds easy enough, right? Well consider that if this ancient delicacy isn’t prepared properly, the result is a sinewy mix of tendons and meat. Yuck!
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bogart4017
wrote on July 8 2009 @ 06:08 am: [report]
Luckily all i still have to do is watch my wife undress. I’m not into pills and don’t want to be one of the guys i read about who wind up in the hospital after a 17 hour erection. (shudder)
_jsw_
wrote on July 9 2009 @ 06:20 pm: [report]
I love the “bull penis” tag on the story and can’t wait for more stories that fit it.
Fast Eddie
wrote on July 10 2009 @ 06:09 am: [report]
17 hours with a hard on seems about right, one need a bit of food and sleep out of 24.
Keesh Mia
wrote on July 10 2009 @ 08:18 am: [report]
Can we order the bull penis online or do I need to go direct to the slaughter house?
_jsw_
wrote on July 14 2009 @ 02:47 pm: [report]
@Iggie BigBalls: How would calling you sweetie make him hard?
AidsDealer
wrote on July 15 2009 @ 07:23 pm: [report]
JEALOUSY DOESN’T WORK, trust me.
majicksand
wrote on July 16 2009 @ 12:37 pm: [report]
Let’s keep it real, we’re all adults here. Ladies, we all know the one thing guaranteed to work if anything will. Yeah, I know, going down on a guy isn’t my favorite thing either, but it works pretty much every time. If it doesn’t, roll over, grab the book off the nightstand, and read a few chapters before you fall asleep cause you aren’t getting any man action tonight.
tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 17 2009 @ 07:56 am: [report]
Ummm….I give dried bull penis to my dog for treats. They’re called bullwrinkles. I don’t know what effect they have on a penis; she’s a spayed female. But in case you don’t have a slaughterhouse or traditional Chinese medicine store around, just head to the nearest Petsmart!
wonderfultonight
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 10:07 pm: [report]
Bull penis, tiger penis, shark fin soup, raw oysters….I guess if a man believes they will help maybe they will - and he will rise to the occasion.
_jsw_
wrote on July 20 2009 @ 10:12 pm: [report]
I think it works because their subconscious doesn’t want to have to eat more animal penises.
@tattooed_redhead: Excellent tip! My dog loves those as well, and, if I ever have issues, while I won’t eat them, I suppose I could duct tape some on to… there… as an aid.
onewriter
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 11:37 am: [report]
@ jsw HAHA I am pretty sure my CONSCIOUS doesn’t want to eat any bull penis-let alone my SUBconcious…lol Duct tape them on….hee hee!! That’s using your head! haha…oopps. That didn’t come out right.
Iammina
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 07:06 pm: [report]
I have always wondered about those pills. I mean do men have the same sensations and do they last longer than five minutes when taking Viagra? I wouldn’t want to have continuous sex for five hours but twenty minutes would be perfect.
SouthOC
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 09:24 am: [report]
Tip for the Police: Look for the guy with a diving board in his pants…
ChoJinn
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 12:28 am: [report]
Erectile dysfunction: be it acute or chronic, fabricated or inevitable, it is a part of the masculine experience. I took Viagra recreationally once but didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Arousal is all psychological. I can get raging erections sitting on a curb watching the ants crawl around if my head is in the right place, and be functionally impotent if i’m not into the girl or have had too much booze.
NomChompsky
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 04:08 pm: [report]
Oh come on. That tip is clearly bull.
condomelite1
wrote on October 12 2009 @ 08:11 pm: [report]
There are plenty of products to help: Passion RX, HARD pills, Stiff Nights! Not everything works for everybody, but as soon as you hit the right one - men, you are in!
duhh
wrote on October 25 2009 @ 12:01 am: [report]
I can get raging erections sitting on a curb watching the ants crawl around if my head is in the right place
LMAO…..........that is soooooooo true!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sex is all in your head and, well, both of them, and, I can tell you from first hand experience, the male mind is a strong thing….....if he is being fickle and a @#%^—even if he uses viagra, it won’t help….......
it says right on the bottle, you have to be INTERESTED for results and that is sooooooo correct…...so, hey, get interested…....and save yourself some dough…...