Seven Ways To Spice Up Sex For Under $5
Posted by: Simcha Whitehill
Filed in:
sex
9:30AM, Wednesday March 18th 2009
In this recession, we’re all tight with our spending, but we don’t want to scrimp on sexy time! So, it’s not shocking adult toy sales are still strong (except in France), but why pay top dollar when the goods are free? Yes we can get creative in these hard (no pun intended) times! Here are our suggestions to put the pinch in penny pinching with sexy stuff under five bucks…
1. Whipped Cream Or Frosting: Shake it up with a can of the sweet stuff! If you want to spray as you go, the supermarket stuff will do. If you’d like to surprise him in a frou-frou bikini, you can make it out of whipped cake frosting. It will last longer, but taste just as creamy and delicious.
2. Trench Coat: This one is an oldie, but a goodie. Show up with nothing on but a trench coat and high heels. If you don’t own a trench coat, you can pick one up at a thrift store cheap! And then you can donate it right back to charity for a tax write off, just make sure you wash it first.
3. Rope Or Ribbon: Get tied up for hours together.
4. Sheer Curtain: Drape yourself in a sheer curtain panel or some see-through fabric, belt it into place, and you’ll look like a Greek goddess. Feed him grapes for extra oomph!
5. Men’s Button Down: Slip into his shirt. Men love this smooth lookin’ style. Plus, it’s lingerie he definitely won’t have trouble taking off you!
6. Dollar Store G-String: Every dollar store has a teeny thong and for a buck he can rip it off you!
7. Saran Wrap: Play peek-a-boo with sheer wrap that’ll stick to your hot bod. Just make sure you don’t wear it for too long or you’ll be sweatin’ him in a bad way.
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Kiki T
wrote on March 18 2009 @ 10:33 am: [report]
a hair brush makes a good spanking paddle….
head to a hardware store. a dominitrixes I’ve interviewed said that is the place to go to buy all you ever need to have a good time—and you can’t beat its prices. it only take a little imagination, which is free!
eden
wrote on March 18 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]
You shouldn’t use ribbon to tie people up - the material its made of can slip very tight and can cut off circulation and really hurt! Also rope can be very dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing! Buy cheap handcuffs instead.
Humble Bee
wrote on March 18 2009 @ 01:59 pm: [report]
Oh please people, don’t be a cheapass like my ex and buy the $1 whipped cream. It wouldn’t come out the bottle when we shook it, and when it did come out it was all in sticky liquid form, AND it tasted horrible. I gave him a pat in the back for trying, but Geez, could he spend the extra 2 bucks to get the good kind of whipped cream. It was a funny, but at the same time disappointing moment.
retro chic
wrote on March 18 2009 @ 02:16 pm: [report]
#1,2,5&6;are ol’ faves. And DON’T get any chocolate near me, I’m liable to fight him for it.
——-
Another tame one, similar to #1:
The Bubble Bikini. Rich bath suds are best (for one or both partners) to have fun morphing Booble Bra and pokable panties.
Enhance by crooning a ballad adds to the hilarity and corny-ness which some find sexy. Bubs evap on their own (or can be wiped away without rinsing immediately) depending on how long your song is.
discomeg2
wrote on March 18 2009 @ 10:43 pm: [report]
What is the point of ripping of a g-string?
What the hell is a recessionista? Please remove that “term” for all of our sakes. If you really want to turn the recession around don’t buy store brand whipped cream and stop shopping at Walmart.
What ever happened to doing up the old bum for a change? Doesn’t cost a thing. Maybe the price of a condom which you can get for free at your local college or Planned Parenthood.
cattgirl813
wrote on March 24 2009 @ 11:56 am: [report]
Once, my first husband and I decided to try some honey. Trouble was, we didn’t have any and we were too naked and horny to run to the store. Somehow we decided that pancake syrup would be a good substitute. We were wrong. It’s as sticky as super glue, it tastes terrible when it comes in contact with skin (especially sweaty skin), and it never completely washes out of bed sheets. Consider yourself warned.