Passive Boy Behavior That Really, Really Annoys Us

Taurwen
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:38 am: [report]

I had a room mate who always put the seat and the lid down. I don’t know why he did this in the bathroom I continually used (He even had his own bathroom!) but for some reason it drove me up the wall, I would have much preferred he just left the lid up.

silver_dragon_girl
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]

#1 and #2: Thank god, I was starting to think it was just me.

#4: YES! So frustrating! Makes me get all obsessive, glancing at my laptop every 5 seconds to see if the little window on the taskbar is blinking orange yet.

Perceptible
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:50 am: [report]

Please send a note with items 1 through 6 to my bf post haste! (7 & 8 don’t apply.)

Riley
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:52 am: [report]

I do 1 & 2 sometimes; I usually narrow it to a few types of food or places to go.  The majority of the time I don’t care where I eat for dinner, my dates tend to be pickier than I when it comes to what to eat.  I really enjoy trying all types of food, but the company is why I’m going out to eat.  I’m just as happy cooking something new, the end result varies sometimes.

4 happens on occasion because I get busy at work or I’m at a meeting.  Not good for employment’s sake to be text/IM-ing during those.

Ariandre
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:06 am: [report]

hehe, 1,2,3,4 and 8 are all my husband!  He was never that way when we were dating but boy has he slid in the seven years we’ve been married!

bethlynn00
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:07 am: [report]

I had a guy who threw the condom across the room once…I asked him why he did it?  “Oh, I just had to get it off” What the hell? The bathroom is two feet away, better yet I keep a small trashcan in my room, but you decide to throw it across the room?  That was the only and last time I had sex with him, and I made him clean it up before I kicked his ass out of my house, how immature!

joyy
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:14 am: [report]

1&2 is my bf to a T.  Love him to death, but he doesn’t really understand that menu planning takes time and effort. 

He’s unemployed and I’m working full time, and he doesn’t seem to get that it’s actually kind of insulting when I ask him for ideas for the week and he tells me he doesn’t care - like I don’t have enough other things to do, on top of working, shopping (and paying) for the groceries, and cooking all of it!

The least he could do is toss me a general idea or two to make the process easier for me - all I’m asking for is suggestions.  I feel the need to balance this though, he spent all day yesterday cleaning pine needles off the roof and did a ton of winterizing stuff.  But still, little things!

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:15 am: [report]

I do 1 and 2 because I try not to be domineering. I want variety and would like some input or we are going to Olive Garden again so I can get the same crappy ravioli.

4. No. I have it on my phone. Easy peasy.

6. I put it down and I live with 4 guys.

7. Nasty.

8. Why do it and then half-ass it? Stupid.

chasingstars
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:24 am: [report]

#1, 2, 4, and 8 are the biggest problems in my relationship!

Would posting this on facebook & tagging my boyfriend be too cruel?

bumbler
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]

Eek I do 1&2 for food too.  My husband knows what kind of food I like and beyond that I don’t really care where we eat while he often has a preference for one restaurant over another.  In other circumstances I do make plans, pick movies, pick bars etc.  Just in food I’m usually fine with one downtown Italian bistro versus the other downtown Italian bistro.

SCRMOM
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:36 am: [report]

My husband giving no input into decisions like 1 and 2 drives me crazy.  Based on the iStockphoto, I was expecting to see a point about not replacing the toilet paper roll and tissue box…that drives me crazy, too.  Maybe I have anger issues.

FireballXL5
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:37 am: [report]

#1 - Because you girls do this: Him: “Where would you like to go?”  Response “Anywhere is fine.”  “OK, we’ll go X”  “No”  “How about Y” “The salad sucked last time.”  etc, etc. 
#2 similar - “I want some chicken”  “Not on my diet”
#4 - priority interrupts occur all the time and typically when you are trying to do something else.  Client calls, boss head in the door, etc. 
#6 - Do we really give a s***?  I never figured this one out.  Touch it, move it, wash your hands, move on.

lea322
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:50 am: [report]

Oh no…I do 1 and 2 all the time! And it’s not because I don’t care! It’s because I’m genuinely that easy to please. If I DON’T want something, I will speak up right away, but I’m usually open to most things.

luke15chick
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:55 am: [report]

1 and 2 are issues i have with my bf. I appreciate the guy not wanting to be domineering, I do.  However, did it ever occur to you that if I’m planning every date and picking every meal, that things seem a bit one sided, instead of a partnership.  I know you have opinions, it’s ok to exert them from time to time. Amazingly enough my man is toilet trained, must have had a good mother.

Lynn
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 11:00 am: [report]

“I just haven’t taken care of this because I’ve been spending so much time with you.”

I HATE this. I just got this one this morning! I did some laundry for him to be nice because he was working late - I told him exactly what I did (darks) and reminded him an hour before we went to bed to start a new load if he wanted something else clean. Then this morning he was shocked that I didn’t wash any white socks (even though there were plenty of other fine socks that were clean). I told him that it isn’t my job to do his laundry and I was trying to just do him a favor, and then I get this big speech about how he never has time to do laundry because he’s always hanging out with me (um…what? then how did I have time to do it FOR him?). Five hours later he’s still mad at me.

QTKT
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 11:03 am: [report]

Woah! #7 is not just something “that tend to make us go ugh!” That’s downright nasty! I would be walking right out the door after stepping on that!

kr070707
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 11:22 am: [report]

1 and 2 are issues my bf and I have every day. It’s not usually about going out to eat, but about what he wants me to cook (we live together). Whenever I ask the response varies from “Whatever you want” to “I dunno.” It’s not that I want to cook to please him (he’ll eat anything) but that I run out of ideas of what to make!

brandyalexander
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 11:26 am: [report]

Does anyone ever really do #7?  That is awful.

C.Munro
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 11:35 am: [report]

1 & 2.  If I’ve offered a few suggestions and all have been shot down or met with little enthusiasm, I will resort to this. 

3.  Seems like it should depend on when it’s said. 

4.  IMing sucks.  If I’m on the computer, I’m doing more than just keeping up a conversation.  Instant messages are just an obnoxious stream of poorly timed interruptions in the things I got on the computer to do in the first place.  You want to have a conversation, let’s meet up somewhere, or at least call. 

5.  Pots and kettles.  Women do this just as much as men do.  Nobody particularly likes it. 

6.  At your place, I put things back the way they were.  Maybe not at mine. 

7.  Gross.  What the hell is wrong with people? 

8.  I agree.  But jewelry?  Ha!  OK.  Just remember, when you go to buy me a new guitar to make sure it’s one I’d actually play.

vivicat
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 12:37 pm: [report]

#4 and #6 are the ones that irk me the most. Which, if you consider that these are minor things, means I’m a really lucky girl.

Laurel
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 01:39 pm: [report]

Oooooooo I hate #5.

lostrun
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 01:44 pm: [report]

I’ve never had an issue w/ #7, thankfully.  But I agree w/ 4..that is so irritating!

bogart4017
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 02:28 pm: [report]

For someone who has to make those “executive” decisions for a living day in & day out, having to decide when and where to eat is…annoying. Somedays i don’t even care if the tv is on 4 or 24—-as long as i don’t have to decide between the two. So to my wife—-nothing personal but i don’t like to decide in my off hours!

mayorbubbles
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 04:40 pm: [report]

I’ve experienced 1,2,4, and 8. I hate number four because he would IM me, i would start talking to him about something important… hours later he goes “sorry, i didn’t see that you IMed me back” and I know for a fact WoW is to blame. When his video card broke and he couldn’t play he responded quick as lightening. Ugh. Number was is super annoying because for ONCE I asked him to make the plans. He picked the place, day, and time and then called me the day of telling me he couldn’t go because he had other plans. WTF.

Buhri
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 06:42 pm: [report]

6 drives me nuts! It’s just gross to think of his pee being flung around my bathroom and landing on my tooth brush.

vocklobster
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 11:25 pm: [report]

I’ve encountered just about all of these or variations on them…gotta say, I’m glad it’s apparently epidemic among men and not specific to me!

therandomappl
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 12:24 am: [report]

I’m just gonna say that I would rather them leave the seat up than pee with it down and drip on the seat. There’s nothing like wandering half asleep into the bathroom and sitting on a wet spot.

onewriter
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 02:50 am: [report]

Damn!  I feel pretty lucky!  I don’t have any of those problems!

doctor2bee
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 06:00 am: [report]

#7 is my boyfriend!!! It doesn’t bother me that much and he doesn’t do it all the time. He tries to aim and throw the condom in the trash but always misses. I always have to pick it up and throw it away. I know its gross but I can’t help but giggle at him cause he looks so funny every time he tries to aim and throw it in the trash. lol

adamjs
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 06:28 am: [report]

2. I used to try and let her have some input, but I’ve given up now, most dates I’ve been on end up with me eating two meals anyway.

4. Guilty as charged - things come up - honestly!

6. The toilet paper thing does tend to slip my mind - I never actually go to my own toilet because I’m rarely at home :-|

Frederica Bimble
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 12:35 pm: [report]

FIREBall..or whatever dreary username you have.  Your answer to number six highlights the use of the word “boy” in the article.  The not “giving a sh*t” part.  If you can’t simply have a bit of self-respect then of course, you aren’t going to extend it to others, will you? 
Be sure to be extremely - and I mean extremely - grateful that you have anyone in your life.  You are a boy and there are plenty of men out there who DO “give a sh*t”
If you actually go to someone else’s home and have so little courtesy and so little respect for their home then surely, that is what you expect in return, eh?
Unbelievable!

Frederica Bimble
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 12:44 pm: [report]

The operative word here is “boy.”  These are all childish behaviours. Number 6 is a deal-breaker for me.  As a matter of fact, I behave like I would or will behave 1, 2, 10 years down the road - in that, I mean, the respect I have for my surroundings and others - and my behaviour will get better in time because we are creatures who live in a world of change and we MUST evolve.  So, if I meet a guy (I’m not using the word “man” here, mind) who leaves a toilet open when I first go out with him then that tells me that his behaviour will get on my nerves later, if anyone show grow from the initial meeting.  Also, it shows that he has little regard for his surroundings.
I like a peaceful life and I gave up dating those who think it’s “cute” to create conflict in one’s life.  There are plenty of men who have intelligence and have been brought up with self-respect, which means he will have respect for others. 

I responded to some joker on here who wrote the classic line that so many silly boys use, the “what-makes-you-think-we-give-a-sh*t” response to logical and responsible words.  No, others don’t care whether or not some fool “gives a sh*t” but we do now know that those who use those words are - far from being the “heroes” they think they are - those will low self-esteem and little self-respect. 
If you look out the misery one projects onto others, then you will get an idea how they feel about their own lives.  Sad, indeed.
Those with self-respect don’t respond in such a manner.

Yes, diddums, the world IS laughing at you…...

Frederica Bimble
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 12:49 pm: [report]

I don’t know what happened to my post above this one but some of the sentences are garbled - and it happens alot on this site!  My keyboard seems to stick or just omit words but only on this blooming site.
I’m too tired to correct my post.  Figure it out people.

sarah11
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 01:47 pm: [report]

My biggest complaint with this list is number 6.  When my boyfriend and I moved in together, I realized that, while it might be a little annoying to find the seat up, it’s probably just as annoying for him to find it down - and love is (supposedly) a two-way street.

You know?  If I find it up, I take the two seconds to put it down.  And if he finds it down, he takes the two seconds to put it up.  Somehow ... the whole toilet seat issue seems to be blown way out of proportion in most couples…

I can’t complain about 1, 2 and 5, because I think that many women (myself included) occasionally do those things, as well.  And before you get annoyed that he said “You look tired,” think to yourself: have YOU ever said that to HIM?

I’m sorry, but I’ve never been a fan of nitpicking.  Half of the women on here that are complaining about things as trite as off-brand chocolates and toilet paper, and I think it’s ridiculous.  Someone above me mentioned that the toilet seat issue is a “matter of respect” - but I guess, as women, we don’t have to respect OUR significant others. *sarcasm*

No one likes a self-centered bitch - and her partner DEFINITELY doesn’t.

_jsw_
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 03:53 pm: [report]

1-5 are definitely true of either sex. I guess with #3, though, when you tell us we look tired, we just take that as an excuse to take a nap.

#6 is obviously man-only, but a related one - not replacing the toilet paper when it runs out - is true of either sex. And I don’t understand why #6 is an issue. Especially with those slow-close lids. It’s not like effort is involved.

#7 is disgusting. I threw one once, accidentally, when it slid out of my hand on a beach. I went looking for it, found it, and threw it away.

#8 is true of either sex. “Wow, thank you so much for the electric screwdriver. I’ll add it to my collection - I don’t think I have one in blue yet.”

Kilroy1423
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 04:19 pm: [report]

1 and 2 were always an issue with me and my girlfriend because when I’d ask her what she wanted she would tell me she had no preference, so when I made a decision the immediate reaction was, “Oh, not there, I don’t like their food.”  That’s a preference, albeit a negative one.

5 was also a problem with us because we lived a decent commute apart (>1 hour), and when I’d tell her I wanted to take the time to do my chores and errands her response was always some variation of, “You’d rather do chores than visit me?  You don’t value me enough!”

writergirl
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 05:40 pm: [report]

#1—No longer applicable.
#2—Has often resulted in fights lasting two days; the end result being we went no where for dinner.
#3—He never comments on my looks unless we are going out.  Then it is a standard, “You look nice.”  I wonder what it will take to get elevated from “nice” to some other adjective?
#4—we generally only IM when he is at work or on a business trip and if he doesn’t respond, he’s been interrupted by work.
#5—I actually don’t hear this anymore.
#6—He puts it down.  But like SCRMOM would like to know why he can’t replace the damn toilet paper.  He can aske me two times if I brought it down the stairs to the powder room (no—I forgot) but can’t actually take the initiative to go get the effing role himself.
#7—N/A
#8—All he buys is jewelry.  The lady at the store knows my son by name.

Jitterbugs232
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 05:49 pm: [report]

4-Yes but its with texting!! ughhh I swear I stare at my phone and its like 10mins have gone by wtf if you don’t want to talk to me or if your girlfriend is boring you please let me know!!

8-well my boyfriend of 8months has never gotten me anything but it would be nice if i got flowers or something that shows he is thinking about would be nice or cheer me up when I am having a bad day.

giftforgab
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 06:44 pm: [report]

#6. So technically because I’m married his own place is my place, but because he likes to leave the seat up at home….I went to his office, and used hot pink duct tape to make sure he had to keep his seat down at work. He got the picture. But just to be sure, I decorated the rest of his bathroom pink also. He had a hot pink rug, air fresher, framed mirror, a poster of Zac Efron (sp), he even had a vase with flowers, and to complete the whole set, a sweet pink pillow for the toilet tank. I left a note on his desk…“if you sprinkle when you tinkle…” so now he puts the seat down. I win.

Ciao99
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 08:39 pm: [report]

Give me a break with #1 & 2. “Making you pick the place for a date when the ball was in his court.” & “Expressing no preference for food or movies.”

The guy is smart, he knows you’ll whine and moan if he suggests what he really wants to do, where to eat, etc. In the end the two of you will do what the girl wants anyways. So why not just bypass the moaning and say “whatever you want”. Because really ladies, it’s all about you isn’t it?

Shriekback68
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 01:06 am: [report]

Actually, most WOMEN I’ve dated are guilty of #1 and #2. For me, not having an opinion—whether it be where to eat, hang out, politics, etc etc—is a HUGE turn-off.

And who the hell tosses condoms on the floor?? Really??

kr070707
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 06:43 am: [report]

re: #7. A condom fell on the floor once and neither of us noticed because we got, uh, distracted (round two). Our apartment has hard wood floors and the lubricant made the floor coating in that one spot REALLY slippery for a couple of days. I fell on my ass twice. So, yeah, keep that in mind if you have hard wood floors, ha.

MrPersnickety
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 07:33 am: [report]

The expression is “I couldn’t care less about going on a date with you.”
Said your way, it doesn’t make sense, despite the erroneous expression’s ubiquity.

onewriter
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]

@giftforgab wow…isn’t that a bit passive aggressive??

EastCoastMale
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 11:40 am: [report]

As a male, some of these I can agree with such as lack luster effort when presenting a sweet gesture and some I could never fathom, like leaving a condom on the floor. ( wont even open that can of worms) That being said, there are a couple that I find a bit hypocritical, getting upset when he says “tell me where and when” or not showing a preference on where to eat, if it bothers you so much that he is just maybe that easy going why don’t you avoid it all together and pick somewhere. These are not the approaches I would personally take in a relationship but rather I am just responding to the points laid out in the article. =)

Riley
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 12:09 pm: [report]

@ECM - Off hiatus and back?

EastCoastMale
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 12:14 pm: [report]

back in a far less active role. Just peeking in and commenting here and there.

majicksand
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 06:34 pm: [report]

My husband is guilty of 1, 2, and 6.  I can’t say much about 1 and 2 since I’m guilty of those sometimes too.  I’ve given up on 6.

Ciao99
wrote on October 30 2009 @ 09:30 pm: [report]

Let me break #6 down for the ladies: if the toilet seat is down, guys will urinate anyways and it will get all over the seat and then you’ve got another problem. Any one who’s been in a men’s room knows what I’m saying. So just be happy the seat’s up and it will stay clean.

**Understanding**
wrote on November 1 2009 @ 06:32 pm: [report]

LOL…I do #1,2 and 3 excessively…i thought it was just me…i didnt know other people get the “whatever u want” answer, when asked to go somewhere! lmao!

EastCoastMale
wrote on November 2 2009 @ 10:03 am: [report]

#6 is an issue with no correct answer in my opinion because it depends on what sex the person is you are talking to. Not all men will pee when the seat is down without lifting it up but I say, whatever state you find the seat in, raise it if you need to and lower if you need. Convenience is a two way street.

wonderfultonight
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 04:48 pm: [report]

#7 is incredibly gross. If a guy ever did that in my place, he would find its contents emptied into his clothes pockets as he exited my life.

Robert Meek
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 05:44 pm: [report]

Okay, granted, “my” situation is “different” (I’m gay), but this SO reminded me of one of the FEW dates I have ever been on, in my 50-plus years.

He was in his 40’s. (We both were, actually.) He used to be a K-Mart store manager, but now worked for a specialty shop in a high-end shopping center, that sold expensive nicknacks, plates, & things.

To every question, and I mean EVERY single solitary one, “Where would you like to go eat?,” “What would you like to eat?,” “Would you prefer the museum or the movie theater?” - it was ALL met with “Whatever you want!” and he drove me CRAZY!

His problem? He had spent the last 20 years of his life WORKING. He did NOTHING for a break. No hobbies, never spent a day at the beach, never went to a flea market - NOTHING AT ALL except work.

He wasn’t joking. He was 100% serious. He also saw nothing wrong with this fact.

Other than that, he was a very nice fellow.

Haven’t thought about him in years. This article reminded me of him.

Oreo
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 02:17 pm: [report]

Number 2 is a major issue with me and my significant other.

She’ll ask what I want to eat or what I want to watch, and I truly don’t care.  I’d be just as happy with one thing as another.  You might as well ask me what my favorite state capital is.

It’s gotten to the point where I just say whatever comes to mind first.  I really have no desire at all for what I’m requesting, but since I’m forced to give an answer, I do.

Easterner
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 07:55 pm: [report]

When confronted with #6, my reaction around a woman is always the same:

I close the lid, not just the seat. That way we’re even.

wonderfultonight
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 12:04 pm: [report]

@Easterner - you close the lid “to get even?” I’d be willing to bet that most women would much rather lift the lid than lower the seat - and the bathroom looks neater when the lid is down.

Too bad more guys don’t “get even” that way. It would do wonders toward eliminating this annoyance even if you have to think of it as a negative action.

Easterner
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 03:58 pm: [report]

@wonderfultonight:
I’d appreciate it if you restricted quotation marks to things that I wrote. Not doing so makes you look like you don’t know what you’re talking about.

I agree, it does look neater.