9 Signs He’s Gay

jerseygrl
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 12:22 pm: [report]

When he walks into your parents house for the first time and the first thing he does is compliment your mom on her curtains. 

  (true story…...and yes, i dated him, and yes, now he’s gay)

Jamie Lee
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]

How about he goes to the gay bars two nights a week because ‘they have such great drink specials’...

dude you are not in it for the cheap drinks if you come home covered in man glitter

MissChaotic
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]

How about half of his friends are gay, yet he likes to act homophobic, but will ditch you to go hang out with those gay friends?

CuteCora
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 01:24 pm: [report]

What about each and every time you have sex, he only wants from behind…LOLOLOL

Juddha
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 02:19 pm: [report]

Or he buys a pair of capris, and wears them all summer long.

Jamie Lee
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 02:26 pm: [report]

@CuteCora

COSIGN!!

misspixie
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 02:31 pm: [report]

Reading your cosmo magazine for the articles…

Having an obsession with watching Topgun, specifically for the volleyball scene…

Kiki T
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]

he is friends with kiki

Jodi
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 06:50 pm: [report]

You missed a few telltale signs:

- he buys you flowers, and not the prepackaged ones in supermarkets
- he listens to you, understands you, and validates your feelings
- when you ask him to go clothes shopping with you, he tells you that he can always watch football another time
- he stays with you when you are trying on clothes, does not try to grope you in the dressing room, and tells you that you look beautiful in that dress.

Must be gay.

ClatieK
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 06:54 pm: [report]

Isn’t an #&@$%? Ooooh, must be GAYYYY. Please.

Megs
wrote on February 7 2009 @ 08:17 pm: [report]

haha sounds you guys think any guy considered nice MUST be gay.

I agree.

hawaiianpeach
wrote on February 8 2009 @ 12:32 am: [report]

You go to kiss him at New Year’s and he moces his head…BURNnnnn

juliePS
wrote on February 9 2009 @ 08:00 am: [report]

heh, a lot of these apply to pretty much every man I’ve ever dated, but that’s because I date nerds. (and I love ‘em!)

D-mann
wrote on February 9 2009 @ 02:04 pm: [report]

@jodi I would have to disagree. I actually have good taste in clothing and help my wife to tell the truth I have dressed her on occasion. I listen to my wife and validate her feelings, thats becuase she is the most important person in the world to me I couldnt breathe without her love. I buy my wife real flowers and have even written poetry. I dont grope her in the dressing room because I know everthing I see Is coming home with me I just let it build. Now I would have to say alot of that comes from being raised by women 4 sisters and no father. So I spent alot of time listening. Its funny though all the attributes that you would say would be signs of gay(except first move thing, saying that people have thought I was gay) I will tell you ladies something there is also another type of man who might fit some of these same characteristics.
A confident, happily crazy in-love married, christian man.
Who doesnt have an ego the size of biggest rims,engine,car, or any other thing he is using to compensate for how small he really is. Although I will say we are rare lol.

LadieBug
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 04:20 pm: [report]

I fall for them or I’d like to date them…  I’m 2 for 2 now.  :(

pushelle69
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 09:55 pm: [report]

He’s probably gay if ...

1) He spends a lot of time at two gay coffee houses, a lot of time, ie several times a week, even after work and on weekends, especially on weekends

2) He admits to watching videos featuring gay sex and he likes films featuring gay themes (ie Brokeback Mountain and Milk)

3) He likes to wear gay and/or lesbian promotional t-shirts

4) He doesn’t like to kiss and no sex

5) He is obsessed with decorating his condo, from wall hangings to placemats

6) He likes to change up his hair ... shave his head or dye his hair

7) He talks about lesbians a lot

8) He likes to walk behind gay couples holding hands

9) He likes to go to gay pride parades ... not just once to see what it was all about but every year

10) He is in his 40s or older and has never married - he’ll tell you about “issues” with all the previous girlfriends and relationships

11) His closest friends are women that he does girl-like things with, ie day spas, movies, dinner ... he never goes out with the guys and rarely with mixed groups or couples

12) He frequently mentions the time he dressed as a woman, makeup and all

13) He often goes to poetry readings

14) The only compliments you ever get from him are about your pants, hair, manicure, never about YOU looking great or being attractive to him

15) Without any probing from you, he is always saying “I’m not gay ...” or “I’m not attracted to men.”

CuteCora
wrote on February 12 2009 @ 08:05 am: [report]

LOL..comments wayy to funny~ However I also have to agree with “D-Mann” my husband buys me nice flowers, helps me shop ( ok well only sometimes) he listens and does understand my feelings, defintly i dont think that they are signs that a person is gay.. here might be some more signs…
1) he wants to do you in the butt…LOL
2) He is open to you doin things to his butt….
3) only wants doggie style
4) only makes comments about butts…

Reagan
wrote on February 12 2009 @ 10:09 am: [report]

He only watches gay porn?

CuteCora
wrote on February 12 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]

Good one Reagan…lol

pushelle69
wrote on February 13 2009 @ 12:09 am: [report]

Yes ... truly the fascination with butts is another possible hint he might be gay.  In fact, he may tell you flat out that women’s breasts (even yours) are not that exciting to him.  At all. 

And if he is gay, he loves butts, and says so.  That love of butts won’t extend to your butt, because he doesn’t really want to have sex with you to begin with, even if you have a quite attractive butt (or if you have perfectly sized and shaped breasts or if you are drop dead gorgeous or if you are charming to normal men in every way).

To avoid having sex with you, he will be too tired, have a headache, be too sick, feel weird, worry about breaking church doctrines (even though he doesn’t really go to church much), not want to lay in bed because his back hurts, and so on. But next day, or maybe even the same day, he will be back at his local gay coffee house (without you) in search of ... well, probably Joe himself rather than a cup of Joe.

D-mann
wrote on February 13 2009 @ 01:59 pm: [report]

In my defense I am a black man and we love BUTTS not to sterotype or generalize but(pun intented) I think as black it must be genetetic. This does not extend to mens butts there is nothing more beautiful then a women bent over with a slight arch in her back. But @pushell yeah he’s gay thats too many. Some of the things said here are some of my characteristics except fopr those really obvious ones, But I love women they are awesome I can look at almost any woman and think of a reason why she’s hot I thank god I am married b’cause there is no way I could be single hetero sex is waaaaaaaayyyyyyy to awesome I have even asked my wife for an additional for a 3 way. The wayu I see it sex is like a video game once you get enough point you get an extra. and she knows its not because she isn’t all I need or doesnt satisfy I just a freak who luckily has a wife say no to that so I won’t sin.

0rion
wrote on February 13 2009 @ 07:40 pm: [report]

D-“I will tell you ladies something there is also another type of man who might fit some of these same characteristics. A confident, happily crazy in-love married, christian man.”

Seconded, minus the christian thing.  I also second your love of ass although I’m 4 different kind of white (the palest, dorkiest varieties).

There are plenty of guys out there who are attempting to connect to you on an emotional level.  They aren’t gay, but they sure are in your friend zone.  These are the less attractive, less headstrong, less “manly”, more nerdy, more romantic dudes that get taken advantage of on a regular basis by women they idolize but have next to no chance of dating.  Ladies look at your circle of friends and acquaintances…you know about 5 of these guys, they would die for even a shot at a date with you.

D-mann
wrote on February 13 2009 @ 07:54 pm: [report]

@orion You know the funniest thing is they will never give these guys a shot and in the next breath say there are no good guys out there. Some women are stuck on what they think they want instead of what they need. An attentive loving man who will put her first. A women is like a flower if you give her love and nourish her aware of her changes and attentive to her needs she will grow into this beuatiful creation. Orion hit it on the head. Alot of christian men can come off as gay becuase they know that you are more than hips,lips,breast, and vagina, but a beautiful child of god that needs to be held, loved,cherished,supported,coreected,lead and all at different times in life. I will admit some of the stuff you all said tabout men mean they are just GAY but alot of these things are the signs of a good man.

pushelle69
wrote on February 15 2009 @ 07:50 pm: [report]

Yes, but ... there are gay men who should just come out of the closet and be done with it.

A gay guy doesn’t make a woman feel loved and cherished, or put her first.  Instead he is at the gay coffee house several nights a week.  If he has time for a woman, it will be to go out somewhere he can “scope out” the crowd (yes, possibly at the gay coffee house or gay bar).

And breasts and butts aside, attentiveness to woman’s need for reasonable affection (ie kissing and hugging) won’t happen easily with a gay man.

Women if this (or any of my other posts above) describes the man you are dating, take my advice and move on!

jjem
wrote on March 3 2009 @ 11:34 pm: [report]

is it possible that some straight man(husband) wants to be “f” in his butt by their wife?and wants to do it to his wife too,doesn’t mean that he s a gay,right?

SouthOC
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 10:41 am: [report]

@jjem:  If that’s the only “curious behavior,” you’re probably safe…

SouthOC
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]

@Jodi:  There are millions of mature and romantic straight men who do those things for their ladies.  The exception to your list is that we also grope them in the dressing room…

NomChompsky
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 11:15 am: [report]

Ooh, ooh, I know this one!

1.) He expresses sexual attraction to men but not to women.

Do I win?

fruitfly
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 11:19 am: [report]

Hell I married one, even though I suspected.  divorced now, he is still in the closet!

brandyalexander
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 11:22 am: [report]

@Nom: Excellent.  You win.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 11:26 am: [report]

@fruitfly: Apt handle, you attract fruits.

spatula
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 12:04 pm: [report]

I have never in my life heard of a gay coffee house.

Also, in college I dated this beautiful boy who was SO plainly gay and denying it, it was soo horribly awkward for all involved. Sigh.

aduncan28
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 12:35 pm: [report]

I dated a guy for a short while who I am still friends with today. When we dated, he would never give me more than a peck on the cheek, and we NEVER made out, even though I would always try. When I would text him to hang out, he’d tell me he was sick (he was always getting back to back colds). Today, we chat through Facebook and he is ALWAYS telling me about some girl that likes him. I had to ask him, if there are so many girls that are interested in you, why aren’t you going after them? He would always find an excuse as to why he can’t date them. As for me, he told me that I wasn’t his type (even though I usually don’t have trouble getting guys).  I’ve just always wondered if he was gay.  The evidence is there, but because he has never confirmed it to me, I guess I am always wondering what his deal is. What do you guys think???

Shriekback68
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 01:20 pm: [report]

I’ve been accused of being gay a few times. I found it pretty funny, actually. Unfortunately, we live in a society where nice guys are sometimes viewed as “gay” because they’re not knuckle-dragging cro-mags bent on grabbing the ass of every female within groping distance.

Oh well. If being sensitive and attentive is “gay,” then sign me up for a mani-pedi and buy me a pair of assless chaps!!

boris
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 01:29 pm: [report]

@Jamie Lee, consider the possibility that isn’t guy glitter. He may be saying he’s going to gay bars to throw you off the trail when he is going to strip clubs and coming home with stripper glitter on him (Or he may be going to gay strip clubs, you have a better sense than a stranger would).

DCGirl
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 03:31 pm: [report]

@fruitfly - Me too. I suspected, too, but figured he would tell me at some point that he was gay or confused before we tied the knot. He didn’t.

He still hasn’t ‘come out.’

O.Ste
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 04:02 pm: [report]

My best friend’s ex-boyfriend used to say “fabulous.”

Enough said.

itsjustme
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 09:44 pm: [report]

Back in the day, there was this guy Jim that we sort of hung aroung with.

Jim never had a gf—he had a girl friend that he tried to pass off as a real girlfriend—the whole thing looked suspicious and bogus so we figured something was up with him.

Several years went by. A friend of his was getting married…and was Jim mad. He went on and on about how Frank was getting married, how upset he was that Frank wouldn’t be around anymore…hmm….

More years went by. Jim dropped out of the picture.

Somebody I know ran into him about 10 years ago at an event a local church was having; it was the Blessing of the Animals and Jim was there with his dog.

My friend said, “So Jim, how have you been? We haven’t seen you in ages…”

“Oh, I’m doing well! My boyfriend and I just bought a house together…” He went on and on about the home they bought where it was, how many square feet it had…

I guess we were right.

That brings to mind a guy I dated a while ago; when we began dating he was in his mid-40s and divorced. The relationship wasn’t the greatest one (was never around, he stood me up a couple of times, the sex was nearly non existant) and I ended what was there of the “relationship” after several weeks.

Six or 7 months went by. I was in a club and I ran into him. Just as a matter of conversation, I asked him what was new…I had a “jim deja vu” moment: “I’m real upset; my friend Bob is getting married. He hardly knows this girl; he dumped his gf Jen out of nowhere and now he’s going to marry Lisa…he’s all effed up…” Wow, was he fired up…

Willing to bet he was gay, too. Why would a guy be upset his good friend is gettig married??? hmm….

sweet-n-sassy
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 11:04 pm: [report]

LOL, Shriekback! Now THAT was funny!

jeremy
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 05:27 am: [report]

i’ve gotta say, some of these “signs” are pretty offensive. these are the sort of stereotypes that create a catch-22 for straight men: either he’s a jerk or, if he’s not a jerk, he’s gay. there’s only one real “sign” you can use to tell if a man is gay: he is romantically/sexually interested in/involved with another dude.

...would’ve made for a shorter article too.

gman
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 06:13 am: [report]

better yet how to tell if ur man is really really straight?

-he is a slob
-he doesn’t clean up after himself
-he doesn’t care about his appearance
-or yours unless u force him to comment
-he is insensitive to your emotions and needs
-he wd rather watch sports than spend time with you
-he leaves you feeling overworked, unloved and unappreciated.

CONGRATS LADIES! You have yourself a 100 per cent real man.
Enjoy!!!

JustHuman
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 09:23 am: [report]

@Shriekback68

LOL. In all seriousness, I think that confident, secured and straight men have the same mannerism as you do.

Maxxx Steele
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 12:55 pm: [report]

Hey, maybe he is bisexual and would like to or IS enjoying both sides of sexual spectrum.

@jjem - there are plenty of sensory receptors in the “p-spot”/male g-spot and depriving a man of such pleasure is a sin!

Its all about fun, isnt?

wedgekun
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 04:59 pm: [report]

1. Fire Starter: You always make the first move.

Some men are shy. Shyness is not exclusive to men nor to women who enjoy penises.

  2. Action Figure: The only women whose hotness he comments on look like Barbie dolls. It’s just too convenient to say you’re only attracted to exactly what society tells you to be into.

If only Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” were about your own self image and not the crisis of global warming.

  3. T&A: He may go to your boobs and your booty, but you have to take him by the hand to lead him to the Promised Land.

Perhaps spelunking into your crevasse just isn’t his thing. Men, too, are aware of what goes on down there and are perfectly fine with not taking a hands-on approach to the problem.

  4. Q&A: You’ve wondered, “Is he gay?” After getting to know him, most of your friends would say, “YES!”

Perhaps your friends are saying that because they want you to break up with your man so that they can have him instead.

  5. Private Eyes: When close to another man, he’ll stare at their body. For example, he’ll watch the waiter’s gun show when he drops off your plates.

Of course, women would never, ever compare their own assets to other women because they have no issues with women who are more or less attractive than they are. They have absolutely no self-esteem issues at all. None whatsoever.

  6. Excuses, Excuses: He typically dates women who aren’t interested in sex, are so insecure they easily internalize a lack of physical contact, or are virgins.

If you’re the one dating him this probably says more about you than it does about him.

  7. Talk Is Cheap: He is really vocal about objectifying women in obvious, yet awkward ways. “Look at that rack—yeah, boy, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

Would you rather he objectify women with wit and verve? If your man talks like this, it might be a sign that he is an idiot, not a homosexual.

  8. Loose Lips: When he’s drunk, he jokes around about how everyone thinks he’s gay. But when he’s sober, he would take that accusation seriously.

You got me there - people are just as serious when they’re drunk as they are when they are sober. Many a cogent argument has been made over a few dozen bottles of beer.

  9. Step It Up: All of his sex moves seem straight out of a magazine’s advice column. It just feels like he’s pushing buttons in exact order rather than enjoying himself.

Some men are not that great in bed. They probably are getting tips from an advice column because they are bad at it. Are we to criticize people who attempt to better themselves?

I propose, instead, that women go by the following list of easy-to-distinguish, unambiguous signs to look for to more easily discern a man’s sexuality.

Your man is probably a homosexual if you observe that he does any of the following:

  1) If he allows another man to enter his anus with a penis or reasonably similar penis-shaped substitute.

  2) If he enters another man’s anus with his own penis.

  3) If he allows another man’s penis to enter his mouth.

  4) If he inserts his own penis into another man’s mouth.

  5) If he manually stimulates another man’s penis with the intent to induce ejaculation.

  6) If he allows another man to manually stimulate his own penis with the intent to induce ejaculation.

  7) If he makes physical contact with another man in areas other than the above mentioned sexual organs in an effort to facilitate ejaculation, commonly referred to as “erogenous zones.”

  8) If he allows another man to make physical contact with him in areas other than the above mentioned sexual organs in an effort to facilitate ejaculation.

  9) If he does any two or more of the above simultaneously (ex: allowing another man to enter his anus with his penis whist allowing for a third to insert his penis orally.)

Following the above rules will ensure there is no confusion when it comes time to determine a man’s sexual orientation.

Of course, it may be difficult to catch your man in the act of one of the items on this list but if you still suspect that he is gay, there may still be hope for him yet - it is very well possible that he is still attracted to women but just thinks that you in particular are ugly.

bratly
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 05:18 pm: [report]

Ive had the male gspot thing done to me by my girlfriend and she likes doing it and occasionally she lets me attack her ass.  Its fun and I do not always end up finishing there.  Some women get something out of it and some do not, other than pain and suffering which my girlfriend points out (hint use lube).  And each activity is not cut out for everyone, some people just do not like a, or b, but like c.  Does not mean people are gay <eyeroll>. It means you are insecure within your sexuality and your hetrosexual partners sexuality ;p

Point a finger at someone and 3 more are pointing back at you!

mavsqueen2010
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 08:26 pm: [report]

Yeah..I noticed most straight guys do not appreciate attention to the butt. As an ass woman, it’s hard to get guys into that sort of thing. I literally have to bribe them. So, if he likes to do things around or in his butt, he’s probably gay or is deeply closeted.

Leesa
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 08:43 pm: [report]

I only got about a third of the way through the comments, but…CORRECTED AND LED, DMAN???????  If that wasn’t a typo, then thank goodness you’re married, because that one woman out of no others would deal with that #&@$%.  At least no other woman who would read this blog…

bratly
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 10:05 pm: [report]

Seems like someone got offended by my comment or was too harsh.  Okay g rated version is my girlfiend likes to play with the back door and I do not mind.  Do not knock it until you have tried it.  Another thing is some women take pleasure in having their butt explored another others do not, taking your time and using lube are suggested. Yet I am still trying to convince mine I am not out to stab her to death. 

Thing is you are probably insecure in your sexuality and your womans sexuality or vica versa.  I have no desire to meet up with anyone ever of the same sex as myself and finger of a woman is greatly different than the alternative.

And if you ever have anything wrong with your prostate your definately going to learn that it can be downright unpleasant if treated by a doctor.  Also women need to take their time because the prostate can get infected from being torn.

Okay now enough of butt talk.  Ive lived around enough fruitcakes to know that sometimes you cant tell who is on what team and at that point its just best to head the other direction.  And if you married a gay guy and couldnt figure it out what the heck is wrong with YOU!