22 Things We’ll Teach Our Sons About Women And Relationships

writergirl
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]

The hamper is for clothes.

The dishwasher is for dirty dishes.

Garbage doesn’t actually magically disappear from where you left it.

Standing and looking at an open refridgerator doesn’t actually accmplish anything.

Freaking LOOK for the item you lost.

Just because you can’t FIND the item in question doesn’t mean she moved it.

No, she is not required to do all child care for the fist year because you’re ‘scared’.

moonblossom
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]

I think there are 2 rules to teach boys (future men).

1. Men and women are different. Its not a big deal. That’s just how it is.
2. Respect people. And women are people too.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]

It used to be walk on the inside. People used to toss the ‘stuff’ in their chamberpots out the window. Common courtesy was that the guy get hit.

joyy
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:13 pm: [report]

6 & 7 - way to perpetuate the dumbest stereotypes ever.  Seriously, you can’t keep a decent tampon/pad supply?  Periods are usually not raging surprises - I have yet to hear of a legit situation where you make someone else go buy you tampons.

3 - wtf is this?

Jessalyn
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:13 pm: [report]

I love it! And I’d add to #7 - you’ll get automatic bonus points from every woman in the store for being such a thoughtful, secure guy.

impoddity
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:24 pm: [report]

Thank you for #10.  It’s totally lame when guys take up three seats, especially when I need to sit in one of them!!

writergirl
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:26 pm: [report]

@joyy—the only time I’ve ever had to ask my husband to go buy them was after I gave birth. But otherwise, yeah, I at least have a few stashed somewhere until I can make it to the store.

bellarose
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:53 pm: [report]

This applies not only to sons but also little bros. I give my baby bro lessons on relationships and how to treat girls, he’s young but he will make a wonderful boyfriend to a great girl when I’m done with him.

Annika Harris
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:53 pm: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse That sounds logical, but I learned that the man walked on the outside, so the woman wouldn’t be “on display,” so to speak, to the rest of the street.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 01:55 pm: [report]

@Annika: I think it’s the other way around now because of cars splashing water from the street. My guess.

sklut
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 02:01 pm: [report]

Speaking of #7 the other day I was talking to a guy friend who happens to share an apartment with my brothers girlfriend and she asked him to go to the store and buy her tampons. I was like WTF?! Seriously… I give him a lot of credit though because he said he didn’t mind but couldn’t understand why she didn’t have any on hand.

Annika Harris
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 02:12 pm: [report]

@ joyy and writergirl You’re right, men shouldn’t have to buy fem. products often, but sometimes emergencies do arise, and I don’t think men should be embarrassed.

LostInStars
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 02:17 pm: [report]

@joyy: I was staying at my grandma’s house and ended up staying longer than I thought I would, thus, my carefully planned out supply of tampons ran out before I went home. Was the only time I ever had to ask someone else to go buy me something like that. You’re right though, it’s not exactly a surprise, lol. Sometimes mine was back then, that was when I wasn’t on birth control. Now there isn’t really an excuse.

And as a note, I don’t like chocolate when I’m on my period. I crave salty things. So go get me a bag of baked lays, and you’re in my heart forever, haha.

writergirl
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 02:21 pm: [report]

@Annika—oh, yeah and I am sure every woman has been there. 

I just had to learn to keep a stockpile around because of various reasons and never really got out of the habit.

LayD
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 02:21 pm: [report]

Like bellarose I totally tell my brothers how to be around women, including if she needs to light a cigarette, don’t just hand her a lighter, offer to light it for her, hold the door open for her, its ok to offer to carry heavy things- its not about saying she is weker than you, its just a courtesy.  And we have discussed on a couple occasions that he should walk on the outside when on the sidewalk (my dad actually taught me that, I think it is also about safety).  I also tell my brothers to not let women walk all over them and not to put up with irrational behavior- we don’t want our sons/brotehrs to be a doormat do we?  I would hate to see my brother in an unhappy relationship because the woman is controllingor takes advantage of him.

As for the tampon/pad thing, I really don’t understand why women ask their SO to buy them when in.  Isn’t it our responsibility to be prepared?  And I don’t think I would trust a guy to buy the ones I want.

bellarose
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 02:48 pm: [report]

Dbelle ya right, I bet you just like EVERY other guy I’ve dated who talked like this, actually wants that woman to be crazy, be a leech, and ultimatly drive you crazy because then you can feel needed. So shut it. I’ve dated a couple guys who don’t want a girl to act like this and when I don’t they get bored.

Or. If this is true, please get hit by a truck.

becknee
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 03:41 pm: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse Or slushy grey half-melted snow. Although I think if that’s the case, both parties should stay as close to the inside of the sidewalk as possible! Yuck!

Paul From London
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 05:28 pm: [report]

Well, as LayD said… if you want the right tampon, don’t ask me to get it. I can barely bring home the correct milk, so I don’t stand a chance with tampons :D

Plus, I don’t think it’s just those things. I have problems buying ANYTHING that is used for “those regions”, whether we’re talking male or female regions!

Paul from copywriting videos

CaptFamous
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 07:58 pm: [report]

Isn’t #11 just blatantly stating a double standard? Also, more than half of these seem to be about training a good boyfriend instead of teaching someone how to have healthy attitudes towards women. Why is it his responsibility to make sure you have enough chocolate?

Also, you missed probably the most valuable lesson I’ve ever learned - When women have problems, they usually want a hug before they want a solution.

Are we going to get the corresponding list tomorrow (advice for daughters)? I’m curious to see what’s on it.

lewomack
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 08:16 pm: [report]

Idk, I always thought the most important thing I’d teach my future son was to never make a girl do something that makes her uncomfortable… Other than that, good list!

Kati-Anne
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 08:40 pm: [report]

@CaptFamous- It’s not that it’s his responsibility to keep emergency chocolate on hand, it’s just something thoughtful for when a girlfriend isn’t feeling so good. And the list does seem kind of like boyfriend training, but really these things boil down to being thoughtful, empathetic, and mature. Of course, these are attributes that both sexes should strive for in order to foster healthy relationships.
...the skid mark thing also goes both ways.

sic.itur.ad.astra
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 09:04 pm: [report]

When I was in high school, I started my period a day earlier than expected and didn’t have any emergency products on hand (and I was at work). My new boyfriend just happened to come visit me and I sent him to the grocery store to get me a pack of tampons since I wasn’t allowed to leave the building. That’s the only time I’ve ever asked a guy to buy me products, but boy was I glad that at 16, his mama had already taught him not to be embarassed.

Coral
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 10:07 pm: [report]

@joyy: Well periods are basically always raging surprises for me. I had gone 9 months without one and then I got it, and I sent my brother, of all people, to get some tampons for me because he was going out to get some wine anyways at the grocery store. He was super embarrassed because I had to basically draw out and explain everything before he went, plus on top of that, some of his friends went with him.

Netty
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 11:47 pm: [report]

I completely disagree with 17. I’ve seen my boyfriend cry hysterically. I’ve done it plenty, too. If we can hold me when I uncontrollably sob and not get annoyed or freaked out I can do the same for him.

Netty
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 11:48 pm: [report]

I meant 18! Skid marks are gross.

Frederica Bimble
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 06:29 am: [report]

Sklut:  This shouldn’t be that difficult.  She ran out. Where’s the mystery? 
The last I looked, there isn’t a magical doorway in one’s bathroom that has an endless supply of tampons/pads…. Don’t even get me started on running out of toilet paper.  Have you ever had to use a coffee filter? 
I’d have to know the background but unless he was going to the store anyway, why was she asking HIM to go get them?  That, I find more strange than simply running out of tampons.

bogart4017
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 07:00 am: [report]

As far as the walking thing goes, it depends on which direction you’re walking and if the woman is left-handed and you are right-handed. In certain situations a left-handed woman will drop back and switch to a position that makes her feel more comfortable. For instance my wife is a lefty and i’m ambidextrous but at formal dinners i have to be seated to her left so we don’t keep bumping into each other.
Purchasing feminine products (from tampons to bras) never bothered me. Clearly i can’t use them. Certain immature check out clerks get a kick out of it though.
If you’ve seen your father cooking, cleaning and changing diapers it will never be a problem for you.
The flowers thing is iffy too. My wife told me early in the relationship “If you ever bring home flowers for me i’m throwing them in the garbage and you can jump in with them”. Go figure. (saves me money tho)

Chebs
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 07:17 am: [report]

Re: the flower thing - I myself prefer candy.  I’m allergic to pollen, so most of the time flowers are a bad bad idea for me.  A little after we moved in together, my bf brought home a Reese’s, and he was genuinely surprised at how thoroughly happy I was over a tiny little candy.  It’s just a nice little gesture, and it doesn’t matter to me if all he did was stop at the vending machine on his way off the base.

@CaptFamous “When women have problems, they usually want a hug before they want a solution.” - OMG yes!  My bf quickly learned that when I’m upset, hug first, then talk it out.  For me at least, the hug is very calming and I can think a lot clearer about whatever I was upset about.  This should definitely be on the list.

writergirl
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 07:28 am: [report]

Re the flower thing.  The most touched I ever was over recieving flowers was when my husband sent me the same flowers I had used as my bouquet when we got married. (Dendrbian Orchids).  I was actually shocked than he remembered what they were called (this was two years later) and thought to send them.

stiffinp
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 07:59 am: [report]

Skid marks??????

mr2020
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 08:32 am: [report]

Great post!

I do #6 all the time.

Number #11 is HYPER TRUE.

And number #19 is ESSENTIAL.

Thanks for a great post!

Mr. Twenty Twenty from [url=http://www.2020unleashed.com]http://www.2020unleashed.com[/url]

resullins
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 12:28 pm: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse and Annika: Actually, you’re both right. The men have always walked on the outside. When people used to throw their chamber-pots out the window, the woman would be under the awning if she was on the inside, while the man would be unprotected. It also kept the woman out of the rain, and kept carriages from splashing them!

And I’m left handed, but I always walk on my SO’s left side, because my purse is on my left side, and I don’t want it banging into him.

Oh yeah, and that long silver thing in the bathroom, it’s to hang your towel on so that it will dry out and not mold. The bed is for sleeping. The floor is for walking. Learn the difference.

Beer bottles go in the trash can, not the floor.

Leftover food can be thrown out when it’s been in the fridge for 2 weeks. It’s ok, let it go.

Every once in a while, just rubbing my head while we’re watching a movie can be more soothing than a $200 massage.

majicksand
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 01:41 pm: [report]

Where is the most obvious? Never, ever hit a woman.  I have two sons, and they know I will not tolerate that ever.  I threw my ex-husband out the day he laid hands on me even though I was a stay at home mom with no idea how I would get through until I could get a job and arrange daycare.  Anything less would have made every word I ever said about how to treat a lady into a lie.

Please note: that doesn’t mean my boys should allow themselves to be abused either.  Walk away, restrain if necessary.  Violence is a life or death last resort.

BTW, I have also told them that should I have a daughter I will tell her that if she hits like a man, she should be prepared to take the punch like a man.  Not all boys have a problem hitting women!

BlueVibe
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 09:50 am: [report]

#20 is essential, too, both for sons and for mothers.  Yeah, I know he’ll always be your little boy, but he’s an adult, for crying out loud.  Both of you need to act like it.  Guys need not to be momma’s-boys and mothers need not to keep the apron strings wrapped around their sons’ necks.

For the record: Traditionally, women walk on the non-street side of the sidewalk so they don’t get splashed by passing vehicles.  Unless you’re square-dancing, then the woman is always on the right-hand side.

I would add: Birth control is your responsibility, too.  Yes, it’s hers, but it’s also yours.  It takes two, after all.

MuchoMacho
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 03:48 pm: [report]

i think #2 should def come from dad, not mom…  *shudder*

Nick Danger
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 07:10 pm: [report]

> 12. Don’t be a pouty puppy when shopping with her.

Oh… you mean like the look I get when we’re in the Electronics store looking at Home Theater equipment.

Follow this guide if you want your kid to be the girl’s “Best Friend”. Girls don’t want this kind of guy.

Great quote from the Late Great John Hughes:

Ferris: ... She won’t respect him, ‘cause you can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.

collins61
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 11:49 pm: [report]

Or show your son how “Writergirls” contribution manifests womens enternal struggle for complete and total control by actually expanding the list to include her pet peeves which are obviously traits in her man that she has settled for.
Lets not overlook her pompous username either, a sad attempt at impressing one through title.

Jubayle
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:40 am: [report]

I was very disappointed in this list. I’m dealing with three guy friends who are going through break ups/divorces and they all seem to have the same problem—selfish women! I’m glad that women learn (sometimes too late) to be assertive and to validate their emotions, but why don’t we teach that to men with the same vigor? They face the same self esteem issues! You think that you can demand these things from them and give them no respect or emotional support in return?
Raising your sons to respect women is great, but don’t teach them to be doormats. And don’t expect the men in your life to wait on you. I have very high standards of the men I date and I also live up to those standards myself. Give respect, earn respect, and demand respect in return.
I had much higher expectations of what this list would contain. My list of 22 would be very different and it would revolve around communication. #1 and #16 are the only ones I find useful. Since when does a healthy relationship have any thing to do with buying tampons? Never.

Bisbaz
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:00 am: [report]

I don’t agree that “going down” is more intimate than sex. Other than that, it is a good list.  Now for the things men can teach their daughters about men ...

skywalk
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:40 am: [report]

@Bisbaz, not sure if you are male for female sorry!  As a female I definitely think that “going down” is more intimate than sex.  But I can see why it isn’t for a male.

Zora1
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:53 am: [report]

Most points I agree with but:
6&7, once in awhile, but she should handle this herself
8, be sure to do for him too, if he likes
11, total double standard. Not fair to expect more of your man than yourself
12, fine, but don’t make him shop w/you if he doesn’t want to, otherwise that is the reaction you will get
17, not sexy, but at some point we all have them, not the end of the world
18, fine too, as long as she does the same. If she can go on and on, so can he. fair is fair
22, chill out. There really are “good enough” women out there as much as there are “good enough” men.

majicksand
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:11 am: [report]

@collins61: you sound a little bitter. What’s that about?

LayD
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 10:40 am: [report]

This list is simply what men should know about women, not how to be the most perfect boyfriend or the ways to a perfect relationship.  I think any man who would do the majority of these things would be a great boyfriend because he is showing that he is attentive and caring, of course every women is different and needs different things, but this is a good starting point.  In addition to doing these things, I hope the guy would also be trusting, communicative, honest,...and all those other qualities that make a relationship work.  Those are things that a guy can learn anywhere, this list is specific to things that only a woman’s influence can teach.  Naturally there are a number of things women should do for their boyfriends, and not taking advantage of their willingness to buy tampons is one of them, but this list isn’t about that.

Basically, I don’t understand why so many of the above comments are attacking the list.  This is just a fun list giving a few pointers to guys, it is not a code to live by.

Beast
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 11:22 am: [report]

As a man one of the things besides these that I will teach my son is…. Nothing is a bigger turn on to a woman than you doing housework and cleaning. My fiancee will attest to that.

EnfantDeLune
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:45 pm: [report]

#20 - I wish someone would tell my mother-in-law that…

SassyDaisy
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:50 pm: [report]

Can we add don’t ever let a girl scream at you??! I have a son 9yrs and besides telling him all the above especially not hitting girls i also add ‘don’t ever let a girl scream at you’ that’s my pet peeve so i guess thats why i let him know…

My reasons why to him it’s bc if you let a girl scream at you then you scream back and things get heated quickly, and also bc i’m his Mom and i would get into a scream match w/her. So that’s also why you should never argue in front of your mother, i’m bias like that. hahaha

majicksand
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:13 pm: [report]

@SassyDaisy: I know how you feel.  My 16 yo just experienced his first breakup after 18 months with the same girl.  I had to keep reminding myself she’s only 15.  I did tell her exactly what I thought of the lying, cheating and manipulating but without the ripping her face off part I’d be tempted to employ with an adult.

jjaj
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:02 pm: [report]

Wow.  If teaching your son about performing oral sex ranks #2 on your list, you’re a great distance from being responsible enough to reproduce.  Judging from the rest of the list, it appears your main purpose in raising a son would be to prepare him to please and pamper his future girlfriends. Ask the men in your life if they think everything is perfect about some of your female-biased tendencies.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:24 pm: [report]

@jjaj: Sons come in all ages. Get your mind out of the gutter.

jjaj
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:13 pm: [report]

@CheeeeEEEse: I’m not suggesting it has anything to do with age.  The whole list appears to be a training regime rather than a guide to raising a son to be respectful of women.  Respect is different from obedience.

Oyto
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 05:34 am: [report]

According to you, “At some point she’ll be more important than your mother” and I also thought so UNTIL my wife cheated on me.

That’s when a friend of mine told me, “The difference between wives and mothers is that you can always get another wife.”

He was right.

HoneyBee
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 07:49 am: [report]

I was disappointed with this list. I was expecting advice for how to help sons maintain satisfying relationships for themselves. This seems to be mostly focused on how to keep a woman happy, how to avoid conflict, etc. There are a couple of good ones sprinkled in (9, 13), but mostly this list is only going to teach boys that relationships are about keeping the peace and keeping women happy, instead of teaching them that relationships should be fulfilling for THEM. I’d hoped for more.

effing hickster
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 04:59 pm: [report]

A woman’s purse and underwear drawer are private property and OFF LIMITS!

Gingee
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 10:42 am: [report]

Women to be avoided:

Those who try to make the men purchase tampons.  The darlings managed to do it by themselves before you, Manly Male, appeared.  Ignore any whimpering. If she is too stupid to stock up, tough. 

Gals who insist that you put down the lid on the toilet seat. 

BELIEVE her when she says that oral sex is not for her.

Before anyone’s pants come off, all women must presume that all acts of sexual intercourse will lead to a conception, and all men must presume that the woman will want to have a baby.  Everyone can work backwards from there.

Oh, yes, buying chocolate is useless for those who do not like it. 

If she asks “Does this dress make me look fat,” say, “It’s not the dress that makes you look fat, it’s the fat.”  If ya can’t afford to know the answer, don’t ask the question.

resullins
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 11:26 am: [report]

Hmmm… I have to disagree with the anti-tampon-buying shetoric that’s going on around here. Now, I would never send him out for that if that was all I needed. But dear God, if he’s going to the store, and calls to ask if I need anything, then I might tell him to pick me some up. It’s not a big deal. I do that for him… I’ll call and asks if he needs anything if I’m going by the store. And yes, I would gladly buy him jock0-itch cream if that’s what he needed. So yes, I know how to stock up, I’ve never had to make Q get me any feminine products… but jesus… it’s not a big deal if it happens!

Putting the toilet seat down… that one doesn’t annoy me until he leaves it up and I crack my tailbone in the middle of the night. Him putting it down doesn’t hurt him… Him leaving it up may hurt me.

Other than that… every woman is different. I’m going to tell my son(s) that he needs to listen and learn to/from his SO. If buying her flowers or chocolate for her once in a blue moon will make her feel like she means everything to him, then by all means do it. If it’s just giving her a kiss on the forehead will make her day all better, then that’s the route you need to go.

Pay attention. That’s the most important lesson in my book.

antnego
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 02:55 pm: [report]

OK, this article exemplifies the exact reasons why men should be giving advice to men and not women. It takes another man to teach a man how to be successful in relationships. 

1. Pick your battles.
Actually, even minor annoyances be expressed. Don’t women complain about lack of communication? Or, you could just stuff your concerns and blow up at her later.

  2. Going down is more intimate than sex, but it shouldn’t be scary.
Actually, a man should learn to please himself first. And it is scary if she doesn’t have good hygiene!!

  3. Walk on the outside (closer to the street) of your female companion.
I agree. Pimps walk with their employees to the left. Unless your company wants to take that role!

  4. Saying “You’re being crazy” is never an appropriate response, unless you want her to go postal on you.
Of course, you really don’t have to be with women who act habitually crazy and have to walk on eggshells with them all the time.

  5. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women.
As long as she’s pulling her weight too and not criticizing you about YOUR work.

  6. Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for when she’s on the rag.
Tampons are more useful.

  7. Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn’t embarrass you—everyone knows they’re not for you.
I don’t ask women to buy condoms for me, so why should I buy their tampons? Can’t they keep a stock on hand for themselves?

  8. Women like compliments and gifts.
Given judiciously and with cause. NOT to win her approval. Give yourself a compliment first.

  9. Earning less than her shouldn’t be emasculating.
Unless you hear her bitching about how you can’t provide. Besides why not get a better job instead of working as an office clerk while she gets to be a lawyer? WTF is wrong with your career aspirations, guys?

  10. Your legs really don’t need to be open that wide.
But it’s comfortable. She can too, especially if she’s wearing a dress.

  11. Be on time, even if she usually isn’t.
And if she isn’t, you can leave anytime you wish. There are no double standards.

  12. Don’t be a pouty puppy when shopping with her.
Why would you go shopping with her? Men like shopping? Go watch the game or do something fun instead. Let her have her fun while you have yours.

  13. She should never be able to control you with sex.
Agreed! Sometimes they just want you to take them, no questions asked.

  14. Find out what her favorite flower is.
And give to her only on special occasions. Don’t overdo it.

  15. If you like her, then don’t buy her shoes; it’s bad luck.
I wouldn’t buy her clothes anyway.

  16. Smiling and nodding aren’t the same as listening.
Well, if she is being annoying, you don’t even have to pretend to listen. You could just state, “I don’t want to discuss that.”

  17. Skid marks aren’t sexy or hygienic.
That’s why you wear boxers.

  18. It’s OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum.
NOT ok to cry over Her in front of her. But if your father or mother dies, I wouldn’t trust you if you didn’t.

  19. Personality goes a long way.
That’s kind of vague. What kind of personality?

  20. At some point she’ll be more important than your mother.
A grown man’s mother shouldn’t be all that important to him - just a family member who he treats the same as other family members. Otherwise, agreed.

  21. You will never completely understand women.
True. Their logic works differently in ways I can’t predict or understand.

  22. Oh yeah, and no woman will ever be good enough for my baby!
Huh?

SomaCow
wrote on September 29 2009 @ 09:29 am: [report]

Oh, well, allow me to retort!
http://somacow.com/22-things-men-can-teach-their-daughters-about-men-and-relationships

resullins
wrote on September 29 2009 @ 10:26 am: [report]

Wow, that was the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever read, and I’m pissed I can’t get that two minutes of my life back.

First, this is a blog for women. You don’t have to read it. Go away.

1: You can either have us look like this, or you can give us the damn bathroom for 30 minutes. But if you call us a slattern again (read #3), there will be consequences. You can’t have it both ways.

2: I’m fine with this one, as long as the guy reciprocates. But seriously, don’t talk to your daughter about her pubes… it’s wierd.

3: If you don’t want us to wear flip-flops, you SERIOUSLY need to repeal #15. Again, you can’t have it both ways.

4: Women have Estrogen. Estrogen makes you crazy. Welcome to the world. The next time you tell a girl she’s being crazy, let her pump you full of hormones for a week and see how you act. This is not a free chance for her to be a bitch… that’s not cool… but it does affect you, no matter what boys think.

5: Ditto for the boys. I take care of my home, but sometimes have to cattle prod Q’s ass to get him to put his dishes in the sink. So teach your sons the same thing. These chores should be split.

6: think about that the next time you’re downing that double whopper with bacon and onions rings and I’m having a freaking salad… a pice or two of chocolate won’t make me look like Rosie… shut up.

7: You’re obviously such an ass you are attracting manipulative, vapid women… be nice and your dating pool will expand.

8: I buy gifts for my SO, and I don’t think a bottle of wine upon occasion makes you a working girl. Sometimes it’s just nice to giver her a tiny something to let her know you’re thinking about her. Be spontaneous, and so will we!

9: Obviously you’ve never dated a man that makes less than you. Sometimes it’s wierd, and we need to not be asses about it.

10: The world has decorum. Scratching your nuts is rude. Sit down and do it under the table or turn your back and we’ll give you the benifit of the doubt. Do it in the middle of a dinner party during cocktails and you’re just a neanderthal.

11: Same to you killer. But again, sometimes we don’t want to look like this.

12: Don’t spend more time drinking beer/hanging out with your friends/ watching sports/ working on your car than you do volunteering. And stop exagerating stereotypes. It makes you a bigot.

13: And sometimes it just means he only wants his. But I’m all for speaking up and taking charge!

14: Ooooh… I love spontaneous little tokens. Oh wait… but according to #8, that makes me a prostitute. Make up your mind!

15: Ok, then I’ll just wear flip-flops all the time… it’s more comfortable anyway! Crap, now I’m a slattern and a whore. Hyposcrasy sucks, dude.

16: Or perhaps sometimes she doesn’t want to talk about the exact same things you do. Be supportive of her interests… and she will probably reciprocate! Or, I can continue to roll my eyes when Q talks about car parts he wants for his ‘66 Fairlane that’s now a drag car.

17: Ok… then wipe your ass when it happens, and clean them up your damn self. I have NO problem with #5, as long as it doesn’t entail me digging through a pile of sh*tty boxers.

18: Again… stop being a tool bag and you may not end up with superficial, stupid women.

19: I’m ok with this one. But the reciprocal is also just as true.

20: Assuming someone is an #&@$% is a real good way to become a jade, embittered old man that spends his days bitching about women’s blogs.

21: Some people may not… that’s a fact of life. Most will, but there are always some people too slow or lazy to get it.

22: Really? Stop thinking your mother is the be-all-end-all of women. Stop telling us that we don’t do things the way she used to do them. It’s not usually the woman’s mother that’s the problem.

Ok… sorry for that, but good LORD! Get over yourself, and I’m going to go back to praying that you never procreate.

Divchuna
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 10:02 am: [report]

This list gives women a bad name.  Aweful!!!

1.Pick your battles - mmm.. OK, even though i think it should apply more to women.
5.Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women - Leave men alone; cooking, cleaning and taking care of children are women tasks, unless he is jobless, which in that case you don’t need a man anyhow.  However - He should be a good role model to his children!
6.Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for when she’s on the rag - This is a crazy rule! Do you have to make a world wide disclaimer that you are on your period? Men would like to think of their women as beautiful and never sick women, letting him know that you are PMSing is not super attractive. 
7.Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn’t embarrass you—everyone knows they’re not for you - Buy it yourself (apply rule #1 here)
9.Earning less than her shouldn’t be emasculating.- Yes it should!
10.Your legs really don’t need to be open that wide. - is this a joke?
12.Don’t be a pouty puppy when shopping with her - why would you go shopping with him? Is not that what your girlfriends are for?
14.Find out what her favorite flower is - Another stupid flower.
15.If you like her, then don’t buy her shoes; it’s bad luck. - I do not even know how to respond to that, besides WTF?! Buying shoes for a woman that you like is a great gift, just to make sure that it’s the shoes that she likes/wants.
18.It’s OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum. - No it’s not!
20.At some point she’ll be more important than your mother - really?!

resullins
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 10:23 am: [report]

@Divchuna: All I can say is I wish this weren’t a dead post…

Leave men alone; cooking, cleaning and taking care of children are women tasks

Are you SERIOUS!!!

You’re single, aren’t you? Not only are you stupid (learn how to spell </i>awful</i> please. It’s not hard. But you’re a chauvinist that doesn’t realize that your opinions aren’t wanted here.

resullins
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 10:24 am: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse: Uh oh… apparently normal HTML tags don’t work anymore with this new comment field!

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 10:31 am: [report]

@resullins: Use brackets.

resullins
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 10:32 am: [report]

Yeah… I caught that… but carrots are just habit! I’m not necessarily an old dog… but I AM stubborn, and I don’t like learning new tricks!

thepattigirl
wrote on October 3 2009 @ 11:04 am: [report]

My high school boyfriend was not the best, but he had his moments of sweetness. Once, I was completely out of tampons and thought that my mother was going to buy some that day while I was at school, using my last ones. She was sick & told me that I had to go get them. So, not only was it the first time I had to go buy them by myself (once had to do it with horror of all horrors, my father, who smirked through the whole experience) but my boyfriend was in tow at the time.

I asked him to stay in the car while I went into the store. He said no, he wanted to go with me. I explained that the shopping list contained one item and one item only. He said if he was capable of dating me, he was capable of walking through the store with me while I was buying tampons.

So, we walked in, he grabbed one of those baskets and we went straight to the eisle. I grabbed the first box I saw & threw it into his basket - I was obviously much more embarrased than he was - and he carried the basket to the front of the store. I was all about not drawing attention to myself but he was just a-talking about nothing important, swinging that basket back and forth, like he didn’t have a care in the world. I paid and he carried the bag and I tried to escape as fast as I could. He just followed me and smiled. I guess he thought it was cute that I was embarrased, who knows. I wanted to curl up & die right there in the grocery store—he acted like he was buying peanut butter. Oddly mature for him.

It was sweet, though. I was greatful that he didn’t freak out on me. But, I can’t really imagine asking a man (I’m now in my 30’s) to get it unless I truly could not get some myself. I’m thinking lying on the floor with the stomach flu or just given birth to his child. But, if we’re in the store together and I need some, those bad boys are going in the cart. I have no embarrasement about it anymore. I’ve had a period now every month since I was 11, I think I’ve got it down pat now.

I think its more of teaching your son about courtesy and respect for his partners—and taking care of her, just like she should take care of you. If my man needs jock itch cream or an enema b/c he’s sick, I’ll go and get it for him. Just like, if I’m lying on the floor barfing my guts out and need a tampon, he should run to the pharmacy for me. If you’re a mature adult and care about your partner, you might still be embarased, but your care for the other person outweights that.

butters84
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 04:42 pm: [report]

I am completely lost here.

Tampons, you know when you need them (every month).  So, even if it is early a day or two, you should still know that one IS coming.  Why do you need to wait until the day it comes to buy them?

No, I am not embarrassed, and no, I don’t care about points from the cashier.  To me, its more the nuisance of having to drop whatever I’m doing cause she calls for me to do this.  Especially if I’m with other people doing something.

Toilet seats.  Ever heard of look before you leap?  Also works with look before you sit.  I was trained growing up to lower both lids so nothing can fall in (ala the Seinfeld ep with the toothbrush)

#2, oral.  No problems.  I actually find it hot to watch/hear her reaction.  Couple things though.  DO NOT get upset when I won’t do it when you’re having your period.  If I can go to town every other day of the month, give me those few days off.  (doesn’t apply to every girl, but oddly it has come up)  Second, a little respect.  You don’t have to be bare down there unless you want to, but at the very least be trim.  Thick hair is a turn off.  Looks like you’re from the 70’s or something.

Don’t get mad at me when I won’t engage you in what is clearly you trying to pick a fight.  If you insist, I’ll leave.  And no, this does not mean I want to break up.  It means I need to be away from you so I won’t end up wanting to break up.

Chores suck, but I will help.  Keyword, help.  And don’t get anal about the way I do things.  If you want them done your way, you can do it yourself.  Case in point, guys clean at a very specific time; when things are dirty.  If I can dust and have the rag clean enough that I can even see anything on it, you schedule is waaay too frequent.  And I do them sporadically.  If I’m in the bathroom and notice it is dirty, I’ll clean it right then and there.  That doesn’t mean I feel like doing the whole place top to bottom right then.  And yes, the place still looks presentable, in case you were wondering.

This whole list seems to be recycling the old garbage that “Your woman is a goddess, worship and obey.  And don’t you dare question.”  I don’t want a goddess.  They are narcissistic and a turn off.  I want a woman, flaws and all.  My mother is a narcissist.  That was more than enough for my lifetime.  She made me many a time want to hang myself.

If you want to complain about skid marks and hairs in the shower being unsexy, well, so is your leg and pit hair stubble.  I understand you don’t want to bother everyday and thats fine.  But don’t take my understanding to mean you can cut back to once a month.  Once a month is reserved for something else.

Never, ever, EVER tell me that if I really loved you, then I’d do X.  I know how to love.  If you really love me, you won’t try to manipulate me.

Personality goes a long way?  Is that meant to be my personality or hers?  Believe me, I look for personality.  Contrary to what you may think, not every guy has a thing for Megan Fox and the rest of those sex-symbols.  Beautiful, sure.  Attractive, not always.  But, yes, physical attractiveness is important.  But I have a wide spectrum of what I consider attractive.  Understand that looking at Megan Fox (or whoever else) and drooling is a FANTASY.  We understand that and it does not affect how I look at you and I do NOT measure you against her.  She’s a fake fantasy, you are the one I love and choose to be with.

And though we aren’t supposed to admit it, we men have feelings too.  And yes, there is a ton of sexism against men.  No, I don’t get high and mighty about this or let it get in the way of things.  What it means is that I won’t stand for certain things.  When you get mad, do not try to slap me or hit me in the crotch.  And it is appreciated if you offer to pay once in a while.  And when things get a little more serious, it doesn’t mean I have to run every purchase by you first for approval.

And finally (I realize this has gone long and most probably wont get this far), yes, I will eventually shrug some things off as you are insane, psychotic, hormonal, whatever.  It’s not meant to be sexist.  It goes back to “you will never fully understand women”. You even said it.  I will not understand, so playing insanity or PMS or whatever is our way of dealing with what we do not, can not understand.  Kinda like you need chocolate or ice cream to stay sane sometimes, we need to say you’re not living in reality.  No, we don’t actually believe, but it helps us cope when we don’t understand.

And if you do start to remind me of my mother, I’ll never be able to do anything sexual with you ever again.

butters84
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 05:31 pm: [report]

Wow Poco, you must be in high demand.  So respectful, intelligent, witty, classy.  Let me guess, you like the old joke “what do you tell a woman with two blacks eyes?” right?

Don’t let a ***** disrespect you?  Seriously, what do you know about respect?

pvtguy
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 08:25 pm: [report]

A very good article.  I must admit, some relate to the same views guys may have about remarks or things women do to men.
This clearly is a keeper, something to discuss with your young men.  Now, we need one for the guys for parents to teach their daughters.

butters84
wrote on October 5 2009 @ 09:21 pm: [report]

ladydoc, are you talking to me?  its butters, a tv character, not turkeys.  fat chunky cottage cheese thighs?  you’ve never even seen me.  and dropping the C bomb like you expect it to offend me?  and you call me the dumb one?  riiight.  i think you’ve shown everyone who the dumb one without respect is.  extremely pathetic.

you completely fail, “lady”

SouthOC
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 10:47 am: [report]

Add to the list:

When she is sharing her problems with you, don’t try to fix everything by giving advice.  Sometimes a woman just wants you to listen and understand.

Also:  Some of these topics are a little creepy between mother and son.  That’s what Dads are for…

elansdale
wrote on October 8 2009 @ 08:58 pm: [report]

My lesson first lesson would be; Don’t read articles that hammer in gender stereotypes to the next generation of young people.

resullins
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 07:54 am: [report]

I think mine would be: proofread. No one likes a sluggard.

Ciao99
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 05:05 pm: [report]

This read more like advice from a woman to her potential boyfiend than from a mother to a son. Trust me, actual mothers are much more supportive and sympathetic to their sons than any girl their son may date. Mother/ son bonds are very strong, they aren’t going to take the side of demanding girlfriend over their boy. Plus moms are the last ones to admit their sons have behavior problems. Hence why we see so many juvenile delinquents from female headed households, and so many moms visiting their sons in prison when everyone else is gone.

Lastly, I’ve known mothers to discuss condoms with their sons, but rarely tampons! And never have I heard about moms discussing oral sex with their sons.

majicksand
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 05:30 pm: [report]

Ciao99 said:

Plus moms are the last ones to admit their sons have behavior problems. Hence why we see so many juvenile delinquents from female headed households, and so many moms visiting their sons in prison when everyone else is gone.

I rather resent this.  I was a single mom for a long time.  I’m raising 3 boys (17,16,and 6) None of them have been arrested for so much as jaywalking.  I am very realistic about their flaws as well as their strengths.  A “female headed household” is NOT what produces juvenile delinquents.  For that matter, even when there is a man around, most households that I’ve seen are still headed by the woman when it comes to the kids.

Your comment insults me, my kids, and every other single mom and her children out there.

bumbler
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 05:47 pm: [report]

@Ciao while that is true for SOME families (my husband’s mother seems to think he is the golden god and it’s only through the grace of his natural humility that I didn’t end up with a complete narcissist) it’s hardly the case for some or even most female headed households.  I’ve seen two parent households where the mother is the disciplinarian and the father is the one who writes off the son’s transgressions as boys will be boys.  Many single mothers while loving their sons unconditionally do not approve of or condone everything they do and make it perfectly clear to the child.

Ciao99
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 08:02 pm: [report]

To Majiksand, that’s unfortunate that you decided to take it personally. But a fact is a fact. The stats don’t lie. Boys from single female headed households are more likely to be arrested. If you chose to read that as an indictment of your parenting skills, that’s your problem, not mine. The common reader would recognize that.

resullins
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 10:57 pm: [report]

@ciao: where are you getting your statistics? We’ve had this argument on this blog before, and I could probably find statistics that support the theory that being a cat-person makes you 12.5 times more likely to become a serial killer. Without facts, you’re just spouting the justifications of an ignorant, insecure boob. I would be willing to bet that more offenders come out of households with abusive fathers. And where is the accountability for the women that get left by dead-beats and have to make-do with the hand some #&@$% dealt them? 99 percent of men will never experience being a single parent. Trust me, I’ve seen a single father with three kids, and my single mother definitely did a better job than him. You’re “statistics” are flawed, and probably made up.

Please forgive typos, I’m on the Blackberry tonight!

@majick: good luck, I’ve been there, as a child, not the parent.

aman7
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 07:43 am: [report]

I like how when I read an article like this, you say men should be nice, listen, considerate, think of the girl, etc, etc.
Then I read the article from a woman about how to tell if the guy is gay (9 signs he’s gay), and most of you women say, if he’s nice you know he’s gay, if he listens and is concerned about your feeling he’s gay, etc.
I always tell my little nephews to treat girls like crap, that way they will like him.
If you think the stuff I say is wrong, then you don’t have a clue about MOST woman!
Can you say denial???

sunara_rayne
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 12:21 pm: [report]

I think #10 is a big one. I really hate that all the men I date have super-clingy moms!!! The mom of the guy I’m dating now’s birthday is two days before mine…this year hers was on a Friday and mine was on a Sunday. My boyfriend, best friend & her bf, & myself had all planned to go to Six Flags on Sunday - MY B-day - so what did his mom do??? She planned her frickn b-day party on MY B-day. I was super-pissed and simply explained that was unacceptable…she moved her party to Saturday. But I thought that was super-bitchy that she tried to ruin my b-day.

sunara_rayne
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 12:32 pm: [report]

oh yeah, and i like butters84 =)