Some of the feedback I get online is that I’m “too angry.” When people tell me I’m “too angry” in my writing, my immediate thought is somewhere along the lines of “HA HA HA HA HA HA YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.”
That’s because I know what “too angry” actually looks and feels like. When I was 20, I was treated with dialectical behavioral therapy for anger. I was, at the time, in the midst of an abusive relationship and had a lot of reasons to be angry — or, rather, was being intentionally provoked to anger on a regular basis. I know that now, I didn’t know it then. My ex had zeroed in on something he could poke at so that he could say that I was “acting crazy” and thereby invalidate all of my feelings, not just my very intense feelings of anger, while taking zilch responsibility for his own behavior, of course. Keep reading »
When Target announced that its latest collaboration would be with Lilly Pulitzer, the godmother of American resortwear and technicolor prints, reactions were mixed. Her fan base — crazy, evangelistic, largely white — was less than pleased, worried that their precious brand would be sullied by the unwashed masses plundering Target’s aisles in search of stretch pants and toilet paper. But, the plus-size fashion community rejoiced, because for the first time in Target’s history of designer collaborations, this collection would be available in larger sizes. Finally! As someone who toes the line between straight and plus size, the Target collaborations have long been something that I can just look at and never really get. Even though Lilly Pulitzer’s vision doesn’t precisely line up with my TBD summer 2015 lewk (Birkenstocks and smock dresses, probs), I was delighted to know that I would at least have the option of trying on a flamingo-print short set, or whatever. My dreams of rubbing shoulders with Mitzi and Bun-Bun at the club in Palm Springs have been dashed, though, because the plus-sizes will only be sold online. That’s fucked up.
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This past week, I’ve been both livid and mortified by the national news coverage of my beloved alma mater Eckerd College, thanks to the following letter from the university president, sent last Sunday to the entire student body:
Dear Eckerd College students,
As you know, the College has launched an educational and awareness campaign to attempt to minimize sexual harassment and assault in our community. The goal is to raise the awareness of all community members with respect to sexual harassment and assault and to help prevent those incidents by that increased awareness.
You also know that our College is not alone in its concern about such behavior, principally among its students. And you know that these incidents are almost always preceded by consumption, often heavy consumption, of alcohol, often by everyone involved in them.
You can do your part in helping this College and this culture address this nexus of problems by doing two relatively simple things: Keep reading »
As I write this, I’ve just come home from a new gym. A man training a small group of us shouted personalized encouragement throughout in an effort to spur us along. “Well done, Karen!” “Two more reps, Jaz!” “Knees up, Ellen!” “Bum out, Phhhh … bum out!”
I know that when someone mumbles “Phhh” under their breath, it means me. This happens with relative frequency; if I had to guess I’d say bi-weekly. I decided to tell the trainer how to pronounce my name, because the longer this kind of thing goes on, the more awkward it gets for everyone involved. “Phhhh” isn’t fooling anyone, mate. I have a few variations on the theme of correcting pronunciation, but on this particular day I went with “It’s like the name Lisa, but with ‘fuh’ in front of it.” Earlier, when I picked up a prescription from a pharmacist I’ve seen several times over the past year, I let “fuh-lissa” slide. It’s a pharmacist — we’re not that invested in each other. I’m used to making these judgement calls. Keep reading »
This Saturday, entertainment blog The Wrap posted a stunningly tone-deaf guest op-ed entitled “The Rape of Bill Cosby.” The tongue-in-cheek opening line read “Bill Cosby raped me.” And that was the best part of the entire debacle. The remainder of the piece, which was meant to be an excoriation of liberal media (on a liberal media site no less – gotta love life’s rich pageant), has instead become Exhibit A in the case of The Wrap engendering rape culture, and it is a steaming pile of gross, triggering garbage. Keep reading »
Yesterday morning, TIME Magazine’s Katy Steinmetz released a list of fifteen words from which we can chose one that most deserves to be “banned” in 2015. The poll, which includes items such as kale and #sorrynotsorry, is intended as a bit of fun, but there is one point where I want to get off the ride:
“feminist: You have nothing against feminism itself, but when did it become a thing that every celebrity had to state their position on whether this word applies to them, like some politician declaring a party? Let’s stick to the issues and quit throwing this label around like ticker tape at a Susan B. Anthony parade.”
I fail to see how one can have a problem with hearing the word feminist – and any discussion of it, including discussions participated in by celebrities — but not have a problem with feminism itself. Keep reading »