12 Signs You’re Dating A Loser

skywalk
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 08:09 am: [report]

With 6# he may still be a possibility but any others and no way!!  No Deal!

My husband hates change but he will try new things when forced and ends up loving it usually.

This goes both ways, men if you find a women who has any of these qualities then back away quickly!

foxxxyrae
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 11:24 am: [report]

I have a problem with #2…it always seems like that’s an issue with guys I date. I have a saying about myself that I need to work on. “I’m addicted to a**holes!”

Perceptible
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 11:24 am: [report]

How would a guy like this even get a date — let alone a girlfriend — in the first place? Major ewww!

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 11:30 am: [report]

“Fashion (Non)Sense: His style is dumb and his clothes are always dirty. He doesn’t take care of himself. Plus, he acts like a child anytime he has to dress up and will avoid it at all costs.”

My style is dumb, but functional. I have the need to wear shorts and flip-flops all year round because my body has a higher running temperature. Also I don’t go to clubs that require a dress code, because that is just uncomfortable and basically a waste of time for me.

resullins
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 11:31 am: [report]

Most of these are really obvious indicators… but watch out for #7. I dated a guy that NEVER trusted me enough to believe ANYTHING I said to him. I’m an intelligent person that had a more difficult job than he did, but if I mentioned some fact I had read somewhere, he’d have to look it up… if I told him that a dolphin was a mammal, that QI was a valid Scrabble word, anything, he’d have to look it up.

It was just a subtle indicator of how little he respected me.

Kiki T
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 11:35 am: [report]

Yes, yes, yes to this list…but seriously, wearing an Ed Hardy shirt is all you will ever need to know as s sign on how to spot an incompetent f*ck.

PinkRanger
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 11:39 am: [report]

eh, the fashion thing doesn’t matter to me, as long as his clothes aren’t offensively dirty. Just because I like fashion, doesn’t mean my boyfriend has to, it actually helps keep me in check when I go a little over-the-top lol.

Same with the try new things bit, I have to practically beg my partner to try new foods,  or just disguise it by smothering it in cheese or bacon *eyeroll* I"m gonna end up giving him a heartattack, but it’s no dealbreaker.

skywalk
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 11:45 am: [report]

PinkRanger - I agree fashion means nothing, unless it is real bad and a friend of mine has that kind of boyfriend, not sure where his fashion sense comes from it’s kinda creepy.  But they have to be clean and groomed (not metro sexual) just groomed.

Humble Bee
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 12:07 pm: [report]

omfg, my ex fit ALL of these descriptions, (except for the last one) but geeez. These descriptions were spot on, the funniest one was his hate for successful people, there was always something wrong with them in his eyes.
hilarious!
this made my day, lol.

sparklestar
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 01:36 pm: [report]

Signs you deserve to be dating a loser:

#1 - You put up with any of this crap for longer than a week.

I have tolerated behaviour like this in the past. My self esteem was really low and I thought that because this self important idiot was interested in me that I was worth something. He really wasn’t interested in anybody but himself.

roastchicken
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 06:07 pm: [report]

@ sparklestar: I TOTALLY agree with you on “You put up with any of this crap for longer than a week.”

I myself have been in your shoes as well, and I’ll never go back to being the girl that dates douchebags. I have a friend that’s ‘seeing’ this guy who’s a total waste of her time, treats her like a blowup doll, and has told her that he doesn’t want her around anymore..but she still wants him. I told her about what I went through with my ex, but she refuses to see what he’s doing to her. He treats her like crap because she lets him.

I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said “You deserve what you tolerate”. I thought to myself, that was exactly what I was trying to tell her.

BaltimoreTXD
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 06:52 pm: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse - I’m not sure how to phrase this without sounding offensive, but understand I don’t mean to be malicious:

Your excuses are ridiculous. Even if you have a “higher running temperature” (which is either #&@$% or you have a condition that needs to be looked), there are plenty of alternatives. There’s lighter materials (linen, for example) that breathe well and there are shoes that provide as much ventilation as flip flops. It’s not as though people haven’t been living with extreme heat for milions of years. There’s no excuse to be wearing shorts and flip flops - they’re signs of a slob, frankly.

I’m probably reading too much into clubs being uncomfortable and a waste of time for you, and there’s no point in me psychoanalyzing you further.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 07:20 pm: [report]

BaltimoreTXD: It’s probably an endocrine issue when it comes to the heat. Call me a slob if you will, but I know what I like and am not offended in the slightest.

Clubs on the other hand play music I don’t like, too loudly, the drinks are over priced and I’m likely to meet a popped collar douche inside. I don’t enjoy dancing as much as some other people so I abstain, I like pool halls instead.

Jacqueline
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 07:32 pm: [report]

I’m proud to say I have never dated anyone that has something in common with this list.

dandrean
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 08:45 pm: [report]

sadly, majority of those sound like my stepfather.
and i would have to agree, he’s not only a loser, he’s also a douche.

ExGirlfriend
wrote on July 27 2009 @ 11:16 pm: [report]

omg… I’m dating a loser.

*sigh*

MichelleS1017
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 10:33 am: [report]

if your ex fits all these descriptions chance are you fit all or most also. your bad

bbpickles
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 10:44 am: [report]

@balitimoretxd-  What is wrong with shorts and flip flops?  Would you rather socks and sandals? Or Chuck Taylor high tops and shorts?  That comment doesn’t automatically=slob!

Wearing summer clothes all year long is a little crazy but not slobby!

Shasta
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 12:47 pm: [report]

I’ve seen these movie before. 

Yeah.  Jon is a loser; however, Kate was a steamroller who wanted to run the show.  Hence, she needed a loser like Jon to put with her sh**.

They both knew what they were getting, they just got tired of it.

BTW. Style can be changed.  The ability to hold down a job can’t.

I Go To 11
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 01:32 pm: [report]

OMG, all but one of these fit my ex-husband! The only one that doesn’t completely fit is #5, but that’s because he doesn’t dress sloppy or dirty. However, I’ll modify it to say it kinds still fits because he likes to wear Ed Hardy, Affliction, and popped collars…you know, douchebag couture. Thankfully, my fiance doesn’t show any of those signs!

Squidtermz
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 04:02 pm: [report]

@ Shasta I think the ability to hold down a job can be changed if you find a job that you are good at, are interested in, and or like the environment / co-workers. But yeah there are some people that - dont like to do anything, hate everyone, and everything, and just plain suck at life… so yeah those ARE the real losers.

bumbler
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 05:22 pm: [report]

“you may not notice because women are inherently too self-obsessed, absorbed, and self involved.”  I stopped reading after this point.  Obviously some women are losers just as some men are losers but when you come in and lump an entire gender into a sexist stereotype, which even the article you are railing against never did, you undermine your own argument and opinions.

I Go To 11
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 05:41 pm: [report]

@ bumbler: Amen to that!

@ mreo: Are you getting tendonitis from all that #&@$%-stirring yet?

MichelleS1017
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 12:11 am: [report]

bitter much?

Oliveira
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 02:29 am: [report]

I don’t think I could be accused of dressing dirty, but I do dress dumb and decided to not pursue a career in banking because I didn’t want to wear a suit ever again. Make of that what you will.

*waves at CheeeeEEEEse*

bumbler
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 06:53 am: [report]

@mreo Actually your arguments on the idolization of immaturity, difference in manners and isolation caused by technology are sound but because you present them in such a sexist way and limit them only to women that your true feelings are obvious.  Let me let you in on a little hint, when you use the words “all”, “always” and “never” in arguments about human behavior you have already undermined your own arguments.  All I have to say to invalidate your points is tell you that I, as a woman, am not self involved, I hold the door open for others, I thank people constantly and the main use of my cell phone is a weekly call to check up on my parents and elderly grandmother.  If you do want to talk about how good manners are not being as stringently enforced by society as they once were I’d be happy to converse.  For instance twice this past week I have gained the door before a man.  When I opened the door each barged through as though I were holding the door open for them.  Not particularly gentleman-like behavior wouldn’t you say?  The proper thing to do would be to wait patiently while I pass (both for the more old-fashioned reason that I am a lady and the more modern reasoning that I reached the door first and have it open) after each I would have gladly held the door open behind me instead of slamming it in their faces. I also notice males on their cell phones just as often as women.  It’s part of the younger culture not exclusive to a gender.  We’ve even talked about this numerous times on this site including the article on narcissism in modern culture.  It seems you have had some bad experiences but you have allowed them to embitter you towards women and have turned a blind eye to identical faults in men (do you simply have less interaction with young males?)  You have made the same mistake many racists and various other bigots make, mistaking culture for gender, race or ethnicity.  Although I have to say I have rarely seen youth-culture attacked as only a female problem.  Most people recognize that the change in behavior is common to both men and women but it seems you came in with pre-conceived notions about women and used these instances to strengthen your feelings instead of looking them objectively.  Otherwise I feel confident you would not present such a one-sided argument.

resullins
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 08:06 am: [report]

@Bumbler: Thank you! I couldn’t believe what I read when I got that email… but I was on my Blackberry as my wireless at the house was down, and couldn’t respond.

@mreo: Bumbler’s right. I, too, am a female that holds doors for anyone I see coming, always thanks someone that reciprocates, and could give a crap less what Lindsay Lohan is up to today. But you lumped us in with the 25 year old bimbo at your work-place and the bitches that don’t acknowledge your oh-so gracious 5 second pause with the door for chivalry. Also, how do you know about the barfing exploits of your co-worker? If she doesn’t recall what she does, how can you recall them? Are you hanging out with her? Just wondering.

When you came onto a woman’s forum, where we are discussing issues pertinent to us, and start bitching about women, did you really expect us to roll over and tell you “of course you’re right, we’re all bitches”?

resullins
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 09:10 am: [report]

@mreo: You’re still doing it. You’re still stating that normal, non-losery, appreciative women are not the norm. If I said that 99% of guys were jerks, would you argue with me? The entire purpose of this article (on a WOMEN’s blog) is to point out a few of the tell-tale signs you may be in a bad relationship. Why, oh why the hell would we need to know this about women? If you’re a lesbian, that’s fine and all, but then you wouldn’t be reading this particular article anyway. If you want to go read propanganda about sh*tty women, get the hell off this site, as that’s NOT it’s purpose. We, as women, can spot the flaws in our own kind, don’t you worry your pretty little head.

I highly reccomend AskMen.com or MensHealth.com if you’d like to dwell and generalize on the only women that will ever pay any attention to you… which are the losers you so badly wish to harp on.

bumbler
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 09:15 am: [report]

@mreo Thank you for your response since I have also found your previous arguments to be lame and weak mainly through the generalizations you had made.  Mostly you need to realize that your experience with young women is inherently limited.  It is impossible for any person to have significant interaction with a large enough percentage of a population as large as an entire gender to throw around such general terms.  The most you can say is a large amount of the young women you encounter (at your local Borders, local pub maybe?, workplace)are immature.  I’ve also had this experience with young men until I changed my own patterns and began to seek out places which are more likely to draw a mature crowd.  I could have become bitter and say almost all men under the age of 38 are cheaters, self-involved, cocky, over-grown fratboys whose sole goal in life is to accumulate pricey gadgets and bed drunk women.  Fortunately I have met many men who don’t fit this mold (although I have met many who do) and I can honestly say the same for women.  I have met women who feel this way about men and men who feel the same way you do about women.  Usually the issue seems to be their own behavior.  I can’t tell you how many nice men I know who try to frequent seedy clubs and bars to meet a nice girl and then become bitter about the women they meet.  Can they not see that their own habits (looking for one type of woman in places where she is least likely to be) is slanting their own interpretation of the opposite sex?  Perhaps with your preconceived notions about young women the ones who reinforce your stereotypes stick in your memory more than those who don’t?

Ultimately this site is geared towards women.  It is an online women’s magazine like FHM’s site is for men.  the article does not state that all men are losers.  Merely that some are.  It does not state that women are never losers.  But since the site is geared towards women (statistically the majority of which are heterosexual) it features articles about dating men.  There are also articles about female train wrecks if you would care to take a look around.  Ultimately its premature for you to judge the site, its writers and its audience based on one article that states the inarguable fact that some men are not good candidates for dating.

resullins
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 09:17 am: [report]

@mreo: Did you really just say that we DESERVE to date losers because we don’t like being called inconsiderate, bitchy, losers, etc? Holy SH*T! And you wonder why you seem to only encounter stupid women? It’s because they’re the only ones that will put up with your crap. There’s a poster on here names Phil in Reno… go find him, talk to him, and you two can start your own blog called allwomensuckass.com.

Frederica Bimble
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 09:25 am: [report]

bumbler:  Well said. 
I found mreo’s post quite sad, really.  What is humorous though, is in his two posts, he comes across like what he finds despicable, ie; “self-obsessed, absorbed, and self involved.”  When I hear someone say, “I’m courteous, polite, and help others,” then I know their actions are not going to match their words.  When you’re in the company of those with impeccable manners or just those who genuinely care about others, you very rarely hear them actually say they ARE those things or possess those qualities.  Also, his reply that someone didn’t “have the courage” to read further, is laughable.  Courage?  Really?  Surely, if I opened this comment with:  “Men are selfish, start wars and take forever to grow up” then I would think it would take a hint of masochism on the part of the reader to continue with the rest of the post.  It would be accepted by most sensible readers that I have personal issues.
Also, the post has an element of the “misery loves company” about it.  He’s unhappy so has to project it onto others - in this case, women.  If someone told me:  “You’re a woman, therefore, you are “self-obsessed, absorbed, and self involved.” I’d have to wonder why the person saying it wants me to be as miserable as he is.  The “I disagree” bit was funny as well.  This guy is so far “in his own head” that he can’t see when he’s hearing - or in this case - reading the truth.  Arguments are often the case from these types because it is much easier to keep thinking unproductive thoughts than it is to make an effort to change their way of thinking.
My advice to mreo?  If you want others to behave differently, then YOU must change your way of thinking.  If you expect others to have all those negative qualities that you’ve listed in your post, then that is all you will see in your world and that is all others will show you.  If you expect others to be courteous, understanding, empathetic to you, then you must believe others have those qualities.  There in, lies the rub: If you can’t see that in others, then you can’t see those positive qualities in yourself.  I know this because if you did see them in yourself, then you’d attract the same type of people AND you wouldn’t even entertain the idea of someone else saying all those bitter, negative comments as you’ve posted about others.  You would have little time for such silliness.
mreo:  You won’t understand what I’ve written now but you may one day and you might even remember it.  Maturing is a gradual process so you probably won’t notice the change in your thinking but if you’re lucky, you’ll grow out of the thought processes which are creating your beliefs.  Just for fun, you could print this out, put it somewhere “safe” and in 5 - 10 years, have a look at it, read it and then wonder how you could ever have been so silly. 
Life will show you the way.

bumbler
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 09:32 am: [report]

@ Fredrica Well said.  I also think that Mreo fails to grasp that an over-entitled personality is also frequently a mask for poor self esteem.  Such over compensation can be annoying but it is sad when you understand that these young women have been raised with the unrealistic expectations of the media thrust on them.  They have to look like Heidi Klum, be the most inventive woman in bed, have a CEO-track career, dress in all couture and be able to keep pace with the guys at partying to be of any value.  It takes time and maturity for women to feel comfortable in their own skin (same for men) but the unrealistic expectations of modern culture can make it a lot harder for young women to mature and be happy with themselves.

joyy
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]

@mreo - um, women aren’t hired to model beautiful dresses in the workplace and stroke your ego because you are (apparently?) one of the few men who bothers to give a #&@$% about his appearance in your workplace.  They’re hired to do a job. 

Do these women, who annoy the hell out of you (they do sound annoying, I’ll give you that), do their jobs with an acceptable level of competency?  If the answer for any of them is “yes” then STFU.  Not having date-able coworkers is hardly something to complain about. 

And even if women outside the workplace still did act the way you think women should, they’d still be the same people on the inside, and you’d find yourself without your easily visible litmus tests for what a nice girl is.

If you want to complain about an article and be taken even half-seriously, don’t give us your worst “but women suck, look at my life!” story, because we’ve all got just as many about men.  If you had simply pointed out that the 12 things listed are equally applicable to women as men, you’d have a point.

Riley
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 09:53 am: [report]

@Joyy - Not having date-able coworkers is surely something to complain about.  Whether anyone cares is another story.

resullins
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 09:55 am: [report]

@mreo: First, I’m not your honey, so I’ll reiterate what @joyy said: STFU! And you know what, you should take your own advice. If you don’t like these women that you’re talking about, stop hanging around them. Ask them to keep conversation professional in your meetings. Stop holding doors open for women that you see are already on the phone. You CHOOSE to hold the door open for them, knowing they’re preoccupied, and then you not only bitch about them, but every other woman you encounter.

And I have never ONCE chosen to date a loser. I have wasted some time on a guy that hid the fact that he was a loser long enough to get me seriously involved, and then got comfortable and let it slip. I dated a guy once that kept blowing me off to hang with a girl at work, so I dumped his ass, and later found out that he had cheated repeatedly.

And if all women always made the right choices, you’d NEVER get laid. So we’ll work on becoming infallable, and you get to know your right hand a little better!

Frederica Bimble
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]

Bumbler:  Interesting that your post parallels mine.  So, you too, have been in the ditches and “seen enough to know you’ve seen too much!”  The understanding of taking responsibility for one’s thoughts and actions is usually the result learning it the “hard way.”  Yea, I’m “with you.” 
I think “mreo” is just trying to find someone to “argue” with him so he can validate his views without actually going within and trying to find a solution to his problems.  It is a form of attention-seeking.  Could anyone really believe that “one could only hope” that women would accept his view of them? That is illogical.
Also, by the way, I CAN tell you that I’ve travelled all over the world and his view is embarrassingly limited and doesn’t apply to, I would say, approximately 90% or so women.  It would be great if those with such views could be dropped off somewhere, like, say, Sierra Leone to learn their humility in life. It is a luxury to have “mreo’s” views because anywhere else in the world, he’d have to adapt to rest of humanity and reality.  It is offensive for reasons he could not imagine.  With a massive number of people living below the poverty line and / or without clean water or medical treatment, for him to spout his little boy, piddly attitude is perverse.  This guy needs to “make himself useful” and I guarantee he won’t have TIME to look around to find some women to fit his unhappy view.
The arrogance of the Western world is baffling at times.  I can tell ALL of the people reading this post that you won’t find “self-absorbed, self-obsessed, etc” girls in ANY of the unfortunate places on this planet where girls have their genitals mutilated in the name of tradition or murdered in the name of “honour.” 

It is hard to believe some boys still have mreo’s attitude.  Just because you can’t get laid doesn’t mean you have to hate.  Geesh.

joyy
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:00 am: [report]

@Riley - hah.  True, though I’d take a workplace full of competent coworkers over an office full of hotties any day.

joyy
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:19 am: [report]

@mreo - you’re still ducking the question of whether those women actually, competently do what they were hired to do.  If they were hired to play barbie for you, then the answer is obviously “no” ... but my guess is that’s not why they’re in the office.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:29 am: [report]

@mreo: Well, since you put it like that…your thoughts, opinions, and observations are narrow minded and frankly obtuse.

Since you are so enthused to exemplify the “Gentleman” but decry the faults of those around you you only are contradicting yourself. YOU should get off YOUR high-horse and figure out that your head is in the clouds you space cadet.

mokti
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:30 am: [report]

Not to wade too deeply into this flame war between the sexes, but I must say, as a male, it was a mild kick the gender morale to read off this list… and then read the subsequent comments.

Save for #10, which would have to be rearranged to fit the converse, all of these signs are universal, not gender specific.

resullins
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:33 am: [report]

@mokti: We’re not as stupid and self-obsessed as mreo seems to think we all are. We’ve already addressed that issue:

Ultimately this site is geared towards women.  It is an online women’s magazine like FHM’s site is for men.  the article does not state that all men are losers.  Merely that some are.  It does not state that women are never losers.  But since the site is geared towards women (statistically the majority of which are heterosexual) it features articles about dating men.  There are also articles about female train wrecks if you would care to take a look around.  Ultimately its premature for you to judge the site, its writers and its audience based on one article that states the inarguable fact that some men are not good candidates for dating.

Riley
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:39 am: [report]

I agree with mokti on this, all can be applied to women as well.  I have met many women with these signs, most are thankfully out of my life.

Should be signs of immaturity.  Which would fit some of the commentary well, on both sides. 

Frederica Bimble
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]

mreo:  No one here on this page has stated they have “no personal issues”.  We all do. You have also clarified it for all of us that you, indeed, want the rest of the world to be miserable.  How do I know this?  (a) Your last sentence and (b) because what I’ve written I could only know by having to LEARN it and by learning it, understanding it by APPLYING it.  You might wish to be careful as well because you have put yourself on the “list” above - number 9, to be exact.  Instead of saying to yourself:  “This makes sense and maybe it IS safe to see others and myself in a more realistic light,” you’ve chosen to attempt to pull me down to your level. I’ve been down there and I can’t see any reason why I’d want to be unhappy again.  You seem depressed, actually.  Instead of reading sense from Bumbler’s and my post and some others, you go in for personal attacks.  Surely, you’re grown-up enough to understand when a more experienced person is talking to you? I have a vague recollection of when I had a self-righteous attitude like the one you want us to believe you have and I cringe when I think about.  I was also depressed and I can tell you:  “it takes one to know one.”  Now, after years of accepting the beliefs of others - like you are doing at present - I have re-programmed my mind to be more efficient.  I like that others respect what I have to say. I like that there are kind and gentle people, full of laughter in my life.

Instead of demanding that I “get off my high-horse,” why don’t you join me up here?  It’s much more comfortable than attacking the world because it isn’t the way I’d like it to be.

Oh, and throwing in a “baby” or a “honey” doesn’t do anything but tell us that you’re backed into a corner and now you are attempting to use trigger words that you think will wind others, ie; women, up.
No one is “attacking” you and you’ve gotten some pretty good advice on here from a couple of people. How much more attention do you need?

Go for a walk.  Find out if there’s somewhere you can volunteer or maybe do a charity run or help in a soup kitchen or go take a class on something you really like.
You can change your life for the better, you just have to stop being afraid.

mokti
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:44 am: [report]

@res: Sorry, but I didn’t speak of the site, I spoke of the article. And I thought I was being fair concerning it. I can tell you’re fuming at mreo, but I would ask you not include me in your ire just for chiming in.

Symian
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:45 am: [report]

I always apply these types of articles to both sexes, and really, I wouldn’t bother having a friend that displayed these traits, let alone waste my time dating someone like this.  No one is perfect all the time, but how we present ourselves on the outside and how we treat others really says a lot about who we are and what is important to us.

*sam*
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]

mreo: based on what you’ve said so far in regards to what you think a woman should, or ought to be, it seems to me that you are more in the market for a ‘traditional’ or ‘conservative’ type. those types aren’t easy to find, especially if you’re looking in the 20 something ranges. i have no idea how old you are, but you sound as though you’re well beyond your ‘youthful’ years (i.e., mid 30s, perhaps even early 40s, but, again, i’m just guessing based upon your desired attributes in the opposite sex). that being said, i agree with bumbler 100% when she stated that perhaps you should take a look at where you are making these observations. the type of woman you seem to want, is not going to be found in the types of places those women are. perhaps you should ask them where they like to spend time out of the office, and be sure to not only stay clear of them, lest you become even more jaded, but even go so far as to find a place that is it’s exact opposite. (my suggestion, if you’re into politics, try going to your local party office… *most* of the ppl working there will be more mature).

however, based upon your comments about the other men in your office and their wardrobes (jeans, t-shirts, etc), it seems to me that you’re obviously working in a more casual, and perhaps even fun, office environment, rather than a staunch, ‘strictly business’ one. and while yes, it can be *extrememly* irritating to work with others whom do not posses a strong work ethic, to degrade them for skipping, seems odd to me. maybe it’s just b/c i’m one of those ‘twenty-something little girls’ that i don’t see how skipping can be so offensive, (esp. in an office that seems to have such a lax dress code), but that’s just my opinion. if you honestly hate the attitudes of your co-workers that much, and find them all to be so immature, perhaps it is high time you went about finding another office. not everyone performs well in a casual environment, just as not everyone enjoys a strict, professional one.

all of this, of course, is just IMHO.

resullins
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 10:58 am: [report]

@mokti: I wasn’t fuming, I wasn’t trying to sound mean towards you, my apologies if I did. That second paragraph was a quote from another poster directed at mreo… I should have put it in quotes, my apologies. I still don’t think that there’s any reason that this particular article needs to talk about some women being losers. That’s not the author’s objective. If so, then every article would have to inherently be a two-sided debate, and wouldn’t be valid unless it was. This is an opinion piece directed towards women. It accomplished its point, ‘nuff said.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:13 am: [report]

Stop saying we’re going to learn, it’s getting obnoxious.

Riley
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:20 am: [report]

My CPU is a neural net processor; a learning computer.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:22 am: [report]

@mreo: I refuse to learn from an untrusted source on the internet, Wikipedia included.

bumbler
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:23 am: [report]

But only when one has an apt tutor, mreo

Frederica Bimble
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:23 am: [report]

mreo: Er, you missed the point.  Everyone here, if you’ve been reading the comments already KNOWS people are pretty much the same when it comes to men and women.  The only person you’d be “convincing” is yourself.  It is strange that you can’t see your connection to the rest of life. 
Also, why look for someone to “put you in your place.”  Do you know where “your place” is at all?  Sarcasm is just a defense mechanism.  Why put others on a higher plane?  What you would post about women would be tainted by your refusal to accept that you’re part of this world too and that if you choose to be a winner and positive in life, then you will be if you choose to look down and not up, then, of course all you will see is a laundry list of negative qualities.

It is a shame that I’ve typed quite a bit but you, and so many others, don’t see they have others looking out for them.

I’ve given you quite a bit of time but I must go now.  You’ll figure it out, eventually.  Just try to laugh everyday and embrace those who “look up and not down.”  It WILL change your life.
Also, go with the flow of life and see each person - male or female - as unique and you will see changes.

*sam*
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:34 am: [report]

mreo: perhaps i misunderstood the context behind the skipping(??) i took it as light-hearted and jovial, not in an effort to be ‘cute’ and demand attention from the opposite sex. then again, not being there i certainly cannot say what her original intentions were, and it is just as easy that you may have misinterpreted them as well.

at any rate, i agree that if one wants to be taken seriously, one should take themselves seriously first. like i said, i’m pretty young, and therefore don’t exactly have a ton of office experience, so perhaps my observations aren’t quite up to par.

but overall, i do think you’ve been pretty harsh in regards to the ‘general nature’ of (young) women. and that’s sad. :(

Frederica Bimble
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:38 am: [report]

mreo:  Why read anything negative into my post?  I’ve gotta get back to work and like I said, you’ll figure it out.  I wasn’t having fun.  You are what is, unfortunately, known as “hard work.”  I’ve been told that in the past and it is why I’ve chosen to change the way I look at life.  We are here to “ease the journey” of others; trying to childishly wind people up will repel the very people you say you want in your life. Really, find what makes you happy and you won’t feel a need to get validation from others. Your actions will show others. 
I gotta run.  Be creative and helpful and you will attract a better quality of people AND change your thoughts about the women in your office and they will change in turn.

*sam*
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 11:50 am: [report]

mreo: there’s a great article discussing (almost) exactly what you’re complaining about. it’s a/b whether or not generation y is really entitled. you should probably look it up on here and read it, as well as the accompanying thread. it addresses some of your concerns regarding maturity, which, when you really get down to it, is what you’re so upset about. (and again, this can be generalized to young people in general, and not just females, as you have managed to emphasize).

but a tid bit of advice concerning these women: while they should *probably* be old enough to understand proper work etiquette, if you believe that their behavior does not reflect this, perhaps you should address your concerns with them—if you are in a position to do so. if not, perhaps you should address your concerns with someone who is. otherwise, you’re basically just sitting around complaining a/b their behavior and dismissing them as ‘stupid, disrespectful bimbos’ and that isn’t going to make the situation any better, for anyone.

again, just a suggestion.

Frederica Bimble
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]

mreo:  Couldn’t resist. I’m a MAN, by the way, so if you’re going to go heavy on the flirting, then you’ll need to up your game.  It’s a shame I’m not in your neck of the woods because we could do some REAL flirting.  How about it?  Yea, I’m a man but I believe women are to be cherished and respected. Your comments are repulsive and you’ve even got some other poor man trying to “help” you by looking at the root of what you say is your problem.  He’s wasting his time because tools like you don’t want a solution, you just want to bitch because no woman will have you.  I wouldn’t let my sister or wife or mother near you.  You’re a creep.

*sam*
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 12:18 pm: [report]

mreo: well, if you really feel that that is indeed the case, it’s a lost cause. if you’re not willing to give it a shot, then you might as well just sit down and ignore it. complaining just makes others brush you off as ‘miserable’ and never take any of your concerns to heart. it’s my personal philosophy that if i’m either not in the position to change a situation, nor willing to put forth the effort, then i should probably just shut up a/b it b/c nobody likes a whiner.—and thus far, it’s working out really well for me

*sam*
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 12:44 pm: [report]

mreo: that is pretty harsh (their behavior). and I understand why you don’t feel as though you can speak up quite yet. however, much could be said of you that if instead of looking down on them when they engaged in such petty and disrespectful behaviors, you instead said something. it doesn’t have to be anything rude or condescending (after all, you *are* the new guy and don’t want to be seen as an a**whole a d-bag). even something as simple as, “really ladies? why don’t you just mail them to her, or have someone give her a call to see if she wants them. even if she wasn’t the most stylish person, nobody really deserves to be mocked in such a manner. it’s unbecoming.” or something along those lines. undoubtedly, there are others around you that are probably just as annoyed by their behaviors as you are, and at the very least, it would show them that you do not condone them, and I believe that would speak well of you. then again, they could just start mocking you, but if that’s the case, screw them. they obviously have a lot of growing up to do, and eventually their poor behavior will come back to smack them in the face.

develange
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 12:58 pm: [report]

@ mreo: I’m going to ignore some of the stuff you said, and just say, it’s too bad that the ladies you work with are insufferable. Maybe you should spend more time with women with whom you can have a pleasant, intelligent conversation. Maybe they will even compliment you on your hot duds.

Women DO wear dresses, all the time…at least they do here in Boston.  But also, please, remember…I’m sure there are many women who would prefer to not wear dresses, especially if they are out drinking. Flashing panties? Getting groped? Wearing a dress requires shaving, crossing of legs, etc. Pants just make more sense. But even so…why do you care so much?

resullins
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 03:31 pm: [report]

@mreo: I would really like to point out that you were one of the first to veer all the way off topic… turning an article about spotting closet relationship dangers into a diatribe about how all women suck!

Also, I agree that Kate is a she-beast. But John has 8 kids, is spreading lies about his family, and using them. As is Kate, before you go there… but she has been wonderfully out of the spotlight and taking care of the kids since the John debacle, while he is parading his multiple girlfriends around Europe and begging for endorsements. And please, go do a search on Jennifer Aniston… on this site alone there are debates about whether or not she’s desperate and losery because of her dating history. But none of our “fave sweet stars” left their 8 children to go whoring around Paris either.

*sam*
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 03:41 pm: [report]

mreo: You’re welcome and may I just say, that while it was getting pretty nasty there for a while (the entire thread), I must say, you have managed to come off as not-so-much of a d-bag… (your 1st post was pretty much screaming, “hey, I’m a bitter a**hole, attack me!!”—no offense).

_jsw_
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 03:57 pm: [report]

Damn. Take a few days off to see my brother, and look at what I missed.

I’d dig in, but I don’t feel like going under the bridge now.

Adam(aka)AP
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 04:10 pm: [report]

The sad thing is if you need a list to realize the person you’re with is a loser then apparently you’re not listening to your guy in the first place. True to the posts before me, most of this signs can go both ways. But to add something extra almost anything we do can be seen as sign of a loser in someones eyes.

Adam(aka)AP
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 04:13 pm: [report]

Correction guy should be gut my typing skills become terrible without my afternoon caffeine.

_jsw_
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 04:17 pm: [report]

@mreo: I’m surprised you didn’t add “won’t swallow” to your complaints, then.

*sam*
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 04:54 pm: [report]

_jsw_: aww I’m glad you’re back!!! now, I can stop feeling the need to comment all the time to fill the void you left and can go back to being an observer!!!

_jsw_
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 04:58 pm: [report]

@*sam*: NO!! Don’t go silent! Your comments tend to be literate, to the point, and insightful. Mine just tend to be sarcastic.

@mreo: If you had a couple of ladies all over you after the first comment, I’m surprised you had the energy or desire to comment more instead of continuing on with them. They like the bad boys indeed, I see.

@*sam*: See? It’s really sort of pathetic.

*sam*
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 05:05 pm: [report]

_jsw_: lol but your sarcasm & wit tend to keep the meanness to a minimum!! I mean, holy crud you should read the ‘should a man have a say in an accidental pregnancy’ thread!!! cripes people can be catty when there’s no one to offer sarcasm and smiles!!

oh, but phil in reno hasn’t been on since his comment on that thread was removed, which, coincidentally is a/b the same time you left to visit your brother—I really am beginning to think you’re the same person

so, it’s a good thing mreo showed up—we were lacking in the ‘bad boy’ department

_jsw_
wrote on July 29 2009 @ 05:18 pm: [report]

@*sam*: Phil in Reno was banned. You can tell because you can’t search on his name in the members list anymore. Fortunately, mreo has now joined in on the fun, he’s only two years younger than Phil was, and his name, if pronounced “Mister Eo”, sort of even rhymes with “Phil in Reno” and has the same number of syllables. If he starts to capitalize Man and Men and refers to semen as… God, I can’t even remember… “Child Support fluid” or some such, then we’ll know he’s back amongst us.

I know I claimed I was Phil, but, really, he had too much personality for me to have done as a fake. That was all Phil, and, while he’s not commenting now, he’s surely still watching.

resullins
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 07:16 am: [report]

@jsw: First, welcome back! We always miss you… especially when I’m so incredibly angry at someone for telling me I deserve to date losers that it’s a damn good thing there is an entire internet between us… your comments always make me smile, if only a little bit.

Second, I think we should check this guys credentials and make sure he doesn’t have a Quagmire animated .gif on his computer!!!

mokti
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 10:36 am: [report]

Two questions, to both get back on and off topic…

One, what’s with the sandal hate? I’m a loser because you can see my toes?

And two… why aren’t any of my avatars working? Every single one I’ve tried has been well within the limits imposed.

resullins
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 10:51 am: [report]

@mokti: One, I personally think flip-flops are fine… they’re comfy, and they really shouldn’t be gender-limited. However, big ole Jerusalem-cruisers that look like ugly tennis shoes with holes cut out are just UGLY! Sorry… and if you ever wear socks with them, that’s just another nail in the coffin.

Actually, my bigger pet-peeve with masculine footwear are guys that wear tennis shoes with those giant tube socks that you then have to push down into a big blob around your ankle! What’s the point? You look goofy and they take up three times as much room in your drawer. Buy some freaking crew socks! I used to date a guy that insisted that men his age (32) should just not wear short socks… I’ve yet to meet one under 40 that doesn’t!!!

Two: not a clue. I’ve never had problems… so I can’t help you. Sorry!

_jsw_
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 11:35 am: [report]

@mokti: The site has had some significant issues over the past few weeks (growing pains?), and it’s not unlikely that avatar uploading is broken for now. Not just for you, but likely for anyone trying to change theirs.

@resullins: I’m over 40, and I wear crew socks. Not that I’m a fashion plate, but I’m not so inept as to wear scrunched tube socks. Although I used to, for a year or two, a long, long time ago. However, since the invention of crew socks (and fire, and the wheel), I’ve stopped. However, I do wear socks from Injinji because they fit the Vibram FiveFingers shoes I wear at times. And yes, they’re wicked sexy.

*sam*
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 11:39 am: [report]

@resullins: “Jerusalem cruisers” LOL!! I’ve never heard them called that!!! fyi: I’m stealing it

@_jsw_: I’d like to see a picture of that!!

resullins
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]

@Sam: Be my guest! A lot of people steal that one!

@jsw: I am going to REQUIRE a picture of that! That’s FANTASTIC! And thank for at least partially making me right. This was the a-hole that wouldn’t believe me if I told him that bicycles have two wheels, so I always like to be right! Even though I haven’t spoken to him in almost two years… Hmm…

Frederica Bimble
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 11:57 am: [report]

I left this but came back. Just so everyone knows, there is nothing “creepy” about my username.  My wife and I share a computer and we just use the same account.  When you’ve been married for almost 30 years, you tend to just share things because it makes life easier.  So, sometimes, it’s me, a man or my wife, a woman.  I can’t see why that would be an issue for anyone on here. I haven’t insulted anyone, nor has my wife and I’m not here to “cruise” the site so it shouldn’t matter whether or not the information comes from a man or a woman. 
What is interesting is how people change their behaviour when they know if they are speaking to a man or a woman.  It’s quite commmon.
Also, I believe all living creatures should be “cherished and respected” - not just women.  That is to clarify that angry man’s misgivings.

resullins
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]

@Frederica: I’m pretty sure no one else here has a problem with your name. Mreo was the anomaly. I find your comments useful and well-written. Don’t worry about it.

_jsw_
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 12:07 pm: [report]

@*sam*, @resullins: The day I bought them, I took a pic with my phone to send to a friend. That pic - sans socks, sans decent composition, just a quick pic of my feet in the shoes in a parking lot - is here.

The shoes look odd, and they are not good for walking on things like gravel (very thin soles), but I love them. I’d not wear them anywhere “nice”, obviously, or on a date, obviously, but for walking my dog, jogging, walking around town, and so on, they’re most excellent. The socks make them even more comfortable.

_jsw_
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 12:14 pm: [report]

Oh, in the interests of full disclosure, that link is to cravemac.com (a site I own which serves no purpose except to (a) indicate my computer preference and (b) store little pics and files online). It’s nothing shady. Just a pick of my feet. I use my own site instead of flickr or whatnot because I’m old school.

*sam*
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 12:19 pm: [report]

_jsw_: I was unaware that anyone *actually* owned a pair! and, that picture is *priceless*!! although, considering your description, I bet they’re really nice for a stroll on the beach (assuming of course one could get over the feeling of having something in b/t *every* toe—decidedly, not my thing). can they double as water shoes too??

skywalk
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 12:32 pm: [report]

_jsw_: Are there benefits of having a shoe that fits like a glove?  There must be a reason these shoes couldn’t be driven by fashion?  What is the purpose?

_jsw_
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]

@*sam*: For me, the fact that they enclose each toe is a major plus. I have long toes and I hate it when they’re crammed together. In fact, the sole reason I bought the shoes was to separate my toes. :o As it turns out, they’re very comfortable. Like walking barefoot, but with a tiny bit more cushion and a lot more protection. For beach shoes, I think you’d likely want something like the Classic, which is the cheapest, simplest one - but the reviews say it’s not a great “everywhere” shoe because there’s not a lot to keep it on. The Flow is a good one if you’ll spend a lot of time with your feet in the water. I like the KSO model that I have because it’s very comfortable for day-to-day use. I’m lucky enough to have a store that carries them about 20 miles away, so I could go try them on. However, the online sizing chart is dead-on if you measure your feet properly (I put the back against a wall and moved a shoe box to the end my toes, then measured between them after I moved my feet).

@skywalk: I think it’s clearly a matter of personal preference, and I wasn’t really the kind of person who loved walking barefoot before, but I can tell you that their claims for a more natural gait, especially when running (not that I do much of that, but a little), are true. They were developed to make barefoot running easier. It takes some getting used to the lack of extreme cushioning found on pretty much all other athletic shoes, but, once you’re used to it, it feels better, and also you’re much less prone to sprained ankles and the like. Also, I find that my feet feel much more relaxed after wearing them. I think the toe separation allows the foot to move better, so it’s not so much that the toes need to be separated as it is that separating the toes makes it easier for the front to be really flexible. I will say that they’re not optimal for long days on really hard surfaces, because the same sorts of flooring/pavement/ground that would make bare feet ache (and, by extension, your knees, etc.) will make your feet/knees ache in these. But in all other cases, I think they’re superior (when in places that appearances don’t so much matter).

One thing they’re amazingly good for? Flying. So much more comfortable. One caveat: they take a second to get on, as do the socks, for the same reason that gloves take longer than mittens. But personally, I love ‘em.

Izzibee
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 01:47 pm: [report]

Well my last boyfriend was totally a loser ... Now it is confirmed—he was so 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8 on this list. Throw in phony, think he’s a know it all, talks about doing things but NEVER does any of them, nice apartment but looks ugly. Yeah ... loser.

joycejohnson
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 02:48 pm: [report]

You win some and you lose some. Sometimes you just have to pick yourself up and move on!

Dave The Rave
wrote on July 31 2009 @ 06:54 pm: [report]

My brother fits almost ALL of those items on the list and is married to a woman who accepts that she has to be like a new “mother’ to him.  When the family is together he seems to think it is okay to be a complete A**HOLE! 

Plus, women are in this catergory, as well, so it isn’t always the guy who can be called a loser.

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!

_jsw_
wrote on August 1 2009 @ 10:12 pm: [report]

@ohhaithere: I see we’ll have to come up with a #13.

resullins
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 07:34 am: [report]

@ohhaithere: Wow… that was the most useless thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. I’m not entnirely sure how you don’t fall down more with the obviously prostrate level of intelligence you display here.

@jsw: So let’s see, how would we right #13? “If you have to have your very own censor everywhere you go so that you DON’T get arrested.”

_jsw_
wrote on August 3 2009 @ 08:38 pm: [report]

@ohhaithere: Nice to have you aboard. I mean, hey, it’s always a plus when someone’s very first comment exposes weaknesses in the site’s censoring software. They must love you over at clubpenguin.com and the webkinz sites.

resullins
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 07:14 am: [report]

@ohhaithere: Sorry, I only have room in my brain for so much useless comedy, and being a chic, my comedy has to at least have a hot guy in it… even if it is toilet humour! Much to the dismay of my SO, neither Team America or any Sasha Baren Cohen movie made the cut! And yeah… the censoring seems to not like ANY plurals… hmmm… Wonder if the powers that be are paying attention to this conversation.

mokti
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 01:59 pm: [report]

@resullins: I take it you’re not a fan of Woody Allen films then? Or Wes Anderson? How about just about anything Mystery Science Theater?

I think you’re really missing out.

resullins
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 02:06 pm: [report]

No. HELL no. And No. Wedding Crashers, The Hangover, stuff like that I can handle. I thought the Royal Tannenbaums and Napoleon Dynamite were the biggest wastes of time in my life. (Besides the sh*thead I dated for two years… wait, he’s the one that made me watch both of those… that should have been a sign).

mokti
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 10:02 am: [report]

To each their own, I suppose…

Still, wish that bloody criterion collection of Rushmore would make it to bluray. “One… dead… finger.”

Reegis
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 02:20 pm: [report]

C’mon.  I’ve seen Jon and Kate and he is not the poster child for a loser.  When they are on TV, he could not get a word in edgewise.  She’ll just take over the conversation.  And that is probably the tip of the iceberg when it comes to her domineering behavior.  Nobody wants to be constantly dismissed like that or devalued like they have nothing of substance to add to a conversation.  Leave that guy alone and let him find someone who he is more compatible.  Maybe she’ll learn something from his departure other than that he is a loser.  He’s a loser only if he throws the kids out with the murky bathwater (Kate).

And on to Chris Brown…I always felt that Rhianna must have been an agressive participant in their domestic violence incidents.  I feel that if she slapped him, whatever happens next she had it coming to her.  Nobody!  Nobody! has the right to commit acts of violence I don’t care if they are the so-called ‘weaker sex’.

ronin
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 04:20 pm: [report]

Who cares? Simple rule. If YOU behaved the way your guy/gal behaved, would you feel it was appropriate (regardless of the behavior)? If not, this guy/gal is probably not the one for you. Don’t get mad, don’t whine (guys to), just move on. Getting angry and whining is a useless waste of energy. And particularly advice for you women, DON"T TRY TO CHANGE OR REFORM HIM!! On a certain level, you’re just feeding his already bloated ego.

MissPandaXD
wrote on September 5 2009 @ 06:22 pm: [report]

Wooooow!

My boyfriend is 12 for 12!!!

Great…

DEBORAHLISHOUS
wrote on September 15 2009 @ 06:14 pm: [report]

OMG, I’M MARRIED TO A LOSER AND HAVE BEEN FOR TWENTY-TWO YEARS! HIS BIGGEST LOSER QUALITIES:  #1,4,6,7,8,& 9…BUT REALLY NOW, WHO IS REALLY THE LOSER HERE?! “ME”!!! FOR STAYING WITH HIM ALL THIS TIME!...WHEW…LOL