We were so thoroughly uninspired by the top ten breakup lines for men and women that we felt like we needed to take action. We’re starting the Brutal Honesty Breakup Movement. It’s not a real movement yet, but we think it has serious potential. Consider this our contribution. After the jump, some suggested lines to use the next time you dump someone. Read as: the real reason you are ending things.
1. I prefer my own company.
2. There’s a guy at work and I’ve been toying with the idea of sleeping with him.
3. I’m more interested in looking at pictures of animals on the internet than I am in spending more time together.
4. You mess up my bed and I hate re-making it.
5. I liked my last boyfriend just a little bit more.
6. I tend to tune out when you talk to me for long periods of time.
7. About 75 percent of the time, I’m underwhelmed by your performance in bed.
8. I’m concerned by how many issues you have and how slowly you seem to be working through them.
9. I hate the way you chew.
10. It takes too much effort to get along with you and I just want a peaceful existence.
11. You’re really short and I don’t want my potential future offspring to be at a physical disadvantage.
12. You don’t wash your hands after you go to the bathroom, but you briefly turn on the sink to make it seem like you do.
13. My dog freaks out whenever you walk in the door, so there must be something seriously wrong with you that is invisible to the human eye.
14. I hate your new haircut.