Tag Archives: what men think

Mind Of Man: I Want All Of My Penis Back!

If a hood is good enough for Batman, it’s good enough for my penis. Uncircumcised joints look gross, like a cross between a tentacle and a trunk. But the word on the street is that it feels better to have a foreskin. My zipper cudgel is cut, and therefore less sensitive than a man who’s packing a frightful sex nozzle. I mourn the loss of that little flap of skin. I think I would have preferred to have had the choice to be circumcised or not. Keep reading »

What Men Think During (And After) One-Night Stands

The one-night stand is a great American tradition in which two people have awkward sex that both will regret immediately. Most people have had one or two one-night stands, and they’re certainly a unique experience — almost a rite of passage.

Like all rites of passages, one-night stands are shameful, awkward, and huge causes for celebration. Here’s a look at what men are thinking during and after a single night of passion. Keep reading »

GuySpeak/GirlSpeak: The Curious Case of the Touchy-Feely Gay Guy

Every week, the editors over at GuySpeak give advice to women’s questions in guy style. Then they handpick some of their favorites and send them over to us here to answer (read: fix) them in girl style. This week, what do you do with a gay boyfriend who acts more like an actual boyfriend?

He says he’s gay, but he likes to rub my thighs from time to time. So is he really gay or using being gay as a front to feel me up?

Read more Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: Dudes Do Not Dig Surprises

A recent issue of GLAMOPOLITAN magazine instructed its female readers to surprise their boyfriends by showing up at the dude’s apartment wearing a trench coat and nothing underneath. Don’t do this. And I’m not telling you not to do it because a silly girly magazine said so. I kind of enjoy those trash-diculous publications: they’re like Maxim with mood swings. Where else am I going to learn to love my curvy body? (But seriously, diet anyway. Did you know there are no calories in a hangnail?) Keep reading »

What Men Think About During Sex

Men do a lot of thinking before sex. Mainly, they think about how to get sex, what to eat in order to have the proper energy for sex, and how to have better sex. Our thinking during sex is much less complex.

During passionate sex, the conscious mind of a man is pretty much obsessed with feeling everything that’s happening, and enjoying the act as much as possible. However, there’s a sort of half-conscious, half-subconscious mind that kicks in, and its main function is to worry about performance.

Our big concern between the sheets is whether on not you’re getting off, because men consider the female orgasm the sort of gold medal of the sexual Olympics. Keep reading »

Hey, Ladies, Can You Stop Doing This On Dates With Me? Thanks.

So, look. I’ve decided to write this article about stuff that people do on dates that sucks. Now, I’m a man who dates women, so a lot of these will be irritating things that women do; this doesn’t mean that men don’t also do all the same (or similar) annoying things.

I’ve been single since the Sumerians were settling Eridu (if you believe this psychic in New Orleans who told me my soul has been around — and single — since the sixth millennium B.C.), so yeah, I’ve been on a lot of dates.

I won’t claim I’m an expert, but I know enough to actually be helpful to you lady readers. In the interest of both men and women, I give you the eloquently titled, painstakingly wrought: “Things Women Do On Dates That Suck That I Wish They Wouldn’t Do Anymore.” Keep reading »

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