In a recent Sunday edition of a Gotham City newspaper, The Frisky’s very own Vixen of Verbiage, Simcha Whitehill, wrote about a new scientific study that suggests three cups of coffee a day can cause a woman’s breasts to shrink. Bravely, Simcha refused to give up her morning cup of liquid caffeine, even if it meant her rack might decrease in size from voluptuous to less voluptuous.
The study struck a nerve with women, who are as obsessed with their breasts as men are. And women are equally obsessed with the perceived male obsession over breasts. And we are obsessed. All men love boobs; we can’t help it. Before seemingly sensitive and enlightened male readers lambaste me for my sweeping gender generalizations, let me just say: Shut up, dudes. You love boobs, too. Even those of you who signed up for, and thoughtfully participated in, Women’s Studies classes in college … You just did it to pick up hot, feminist nerd girls. Keep reading »
Here are some of the things I learned from watching the second season finale of AMC’s Emmy Award winning show “Mad Men”:
In the psudeo-historical world of “Mad Men”, work days start at 10 in the morning, because professionals needed the extra time to style their perfect hair.
Men who sleep around are studs and women who sleep around are sluts.
Also: men are big babies with trembling eyes, and women have icicles for spines.
But the most important thing I learned from the last episode of “Mad Men” is that Don Draper, the chain-smoking, hard-drinking, skirt-chasing lead character, is a kind of pop Rorschach test for modern day cats and dames. Both men and women see something different in Don, played with chilled beefiness by Jon Hamm, and what we see is proof that there is still a primal disconnect between what women want in a man and what men want to be. Keep reading »
I’ve been thinking a lot about cheating lately, and what constitutes cheating for men and women. Personally, I think anything physical starting with kissing is cheating, though of course it increases in severity the more clothes come off. Emotional cheating is very real in my opinion too — I would be dismayed to find out that my ex, I don’t know, was having, say, a developing emotional affair, possibly, with his younger female coworker, confiding in her and sending her notes about missing her. No physical boundary may have been crossed, but giving your heart to someone, when it belongs to someone else, is just as bad to me. But what about men? Do they have the same guidelines? And how much would they forgive? Keep reading »
Last night’s episode of “Gossip Girl” was awesomely irritating. After pursuing Blair for ages, Chuck finally got her exactly where he wanted her — about to give up some lovin’ — but then turned the tables on her instead. It seems that Chuck wants to be chased, instead of the other way around. Say what? I’ve long been confused about whether men like women to be aloof or aggressive. Or aggressively aloof, if such a thing is possible. I’m not good at being either of those three things, which is why the prospect of gag, puke, blech, DATING again makes me wrinkle my nose. With that in mind, I decided to ask the men I trust so much I keep our relationships confined to IM, whether men like to be chased or do the chasing. Keep reading »
I watched “The Real Housewives Of Atlanta” this weekend and was blown away by the rampant materialism, excess, and over-the-top maintenance enjoyed by the stars of the show. Most of the women are married, or have boyfriends, who revel in their traditional feminine shallowness, and while these women may be EXTREME examples, I have often noticed that some of the most pain-in-the-ass women I know have nice, normal, sweet guys dying at their feet. IS there an appeal to high-maintenance women? And what the hell is it? Do I need to spend three hours getting ready to go to the gym in order to find a nice new man these days? I chatted up the guys on my IM to find out. Keep reading »
On Sunday’s episode of “Californication”, Charlie, Hank Moody’s agent, got caught by his calculating assistant (and former spanking partner) masturbating at work. On film. A lot. Later on in the episode, as Charlie lamented being fired, Hank sympathized, “No man should ever have to bear witness to his o-face.” Um, what? If that’s how Hank Moody, the sex addict, feels about seeing yourself engaged in sexual pleasure, than why, oh why, do so many regular men want to make homemade porns with their girlfriends and spouses? Given the popularity of XTube and YouPorn, I’ve got plenty of evidence to back up my theory that most, if not all guys are totally down to get it on, on film. But aren’t they afraid of seeing their o-face, as Hank suggests? And really, what IS the goal of filming a porn at home? I went to the guys on my IM to find out. Keep reading »
There’s been ado about the complete and utter MILF-ish/VPILF-ish-ness of Sarah Palin. Yesterday, I was sitting and eating lunch next to a table of men, all in their 40′s, who were discussing Palin’s hotness, how she would be sexier with her hair down, and that her critics just think she’s “too pretty”. All that got me thinking about how guys feel about Palin — not just her positions on the issues, but her readiness for the job AND whether looks are playing as much of a factor in the enthusiasm for her as the market for VPILF T-shirts would lead us to believe. So I asked the guys on my IM what they think of the Vice-Presidential nominee. In defense of the seemingly liberal slant of this particular post, I really did try and discuss the topic with the lone conservative guy on my IM (aka The Prepster), but I kept getting his Away message. Keep reading »
We all have insecurities don’t we? When I was a teenager, I was hit with a triple dose of the fuglies, getting glasses, braces, and a raging case of acne within a two month period. I don’t think the insecurity that arose during that time has ever gone away completely, though now I worry more about my muffin top than I do about my skin. That said, some women obsess way too much about their so-called “imperfections”. But what about dudes? Do they spend hours starring in the mirror, willing the gigantic whiteheads between their brows to go away? I decided to ask the guys on my IM about men and body insecurities. When none of them brought up the size of their penis, I, of course, asked. Keep reading »
I imagine that Fashion Week must be the most annoying ridiculous chain of events for straight men — it’s the week when a bunch of gay designers and pretentious fashion editors dictate what women will be wearing in the forthcoming months, and most of it looks like total crap in eyes of MAN. With that in mind, I decided to ask the guys on our IM about the fashion trends they find appealing on women and which ones the absolutely deplore. Surprise — two words rhyming with “pladiator scandals” popped up. Keep reading »
Dang, “What Would You Do With A D–k For A Day?” really was a hot topic huh? Thanks for stopping by gentlemen and cluing us into some fun we might have missed. But the thing really weighing on my mind? Do guys ever consider what they would do with a vagina for a day? I suspected that A) they would either be too uncreative to have actually considered it or B) only considered the sexual aspects, and after discussing the topic with a few of the guys on my IM, guess what? I was right! Keep reading »