I would really like to hire this guy to play an April Fool’s joke on my dad. Can you imagine the look on his face if he saw this dude — who’s got a tattoo advertising his cunnilingus skills above his lip — out with his daughter. Ha! On second thought, my dad has a gun permit … this is a joke best played on the interwebs. [WOW Report via Philthy’s Diversions] Keep reading »
Men don’t gossip. Talking behind someone’s back is just not sporting. We debrief one another, if there’s important operational information that might be mission critical, i.e., “Dan has more beer at his place” or “That woman you’re drooling over is dating Bill.” Instead of whispering in the shadows, men have their own social ritual called “ball breaking,” where we talk behind each other’s backs to each other’s faces. This is a way of resolving disputes and maintaining the social order. Keep reading »
Men everywhere will be glad to hear that a blundering surgeon who cut off a man’s entire … read more. Keep reading »
That first kiss is a cupcake-shaped grenade that explodes into springtime rain. As a man, it’s more important than the best seats in the stadium, that huge job promotion, or the first time your father calls you for advice. It is a prelude to all the best things in life: waking up to an empty bed and smelling toaster waffles, that conversation where you swear to always love her and she tells you the same, the pile of limbs and laughter following the spectacular failure of an exotic sex position. Keep reading »
I am canceling dating. That’s right. The public negotiation for sex, commitment, and marriage between two strangers that begins with “Do you want to go out Friday night?” is now officially over. Kaput. Adios!
It’s too much drama. Stress. Money. It’s nothing but awkward conversations, uncomfortable clothes, and mediocre Thai meals. Nobody seems to enjoy it anymore. Women are bitterly disappointed by the whole process. Men are apathetic towards it. It’s a broken system where no one gets what they want. It’s all push and no give. Women talk about dating the way they’d talk about a root canal. Men don’t even talk about it. In fact, my gender has pretty much already canceled dating – referring to it, instead, as “hanging out.”
What’s the point? Keep reading »