A couple of years ago, a friend of mine came to me for advice, and I think the advice I gave him was pretty good advice, if I do say so myself. Because when it comes to love and relationships, those who can, do. Those who can’t give love and relationship advice.
My friend had just proposed to his girlfriend. The wedding promised to be epic, “Vegas-style” and planned with Pentagon-like precision. The sort of wedding where you wouldn’t be surprised if a trained monkey dressed like a butler exploded out of a 17-tier wedding cake, holding a smaller, 10-tier wedding cake, as fireworks exploded, and an ABBA cover band parachuted in next to the champagne glass pyramid, while howling “Take A Chance On Me.” No expense spared. Keep reading »
After we watched Kate Winslet gush about her 15 year love for Leonardo DiCaprio at Sunday night’s Golden Globe Awards — in front of her husband, Sam Mendes, not to mention millions of viewers — we kind of got to wondering if men and women can really maintain tight friendships, if one or both of them is in a relationship. Personally, I’ve never been the jealous type and have never cared if my S.O. had close girlfriends — but then again, if I was ever given cause for worry (like they had hooked up before, or she was especially flirty) maybe my green-eyed monster would come out. And ever since the guys on my IM basically confirmed that men want to screw all their female friends on some level, I’ve wondered whether platonic friendships between men and women are even really possible, especially if there are boyfriends or girlfriends involved. So I went back to the fountains of boy wisdom to find out… Keep reading »
Go ahead and have sex on the first date if you want. If it feels good, do it. Ruin yourself. Get your rocks off. Surrender to chemistry, drink, irresponsibility. Indulge in the passion, throw caution to the wind, make a big sloppy mess of your love life. Your prince might not call you back if you rail him in the bathroom stall or after he slinks out of your apartment while you’re sleeping. If that happens, cry and wail! Just know that reports of the fragility of the human heart are greatly exaggerated. Keep reading »
As I wrote yesterday, if you have any desire to possibly, maybe having something deeper than bed rockin’ nookie with a dude, you shouldn’t sleep with him on the first date. I came to this conclusion after many years of experience, chatting with friends (men and women), and having a late night, New Year’s champagne-infused to heart-to-heart with a friend’s husband. But I didn’t think it was fair to use him as my sole source, so I decided to pester the guys on my IM about their experience and impressions of first date sex and whether they could see developing a relationship with a lady they banged on the first date. Keep reading »
Blow jobs are overrated. There. I said it. I know men who would fight a grizzly bear with a spork for a little mouth love. I also know women who guard their oral sexing technique the way a pharmaceutical company protects its most precious patents. But I’m just not a dude who loves blow jobs. I’m an active guy, when it comes to being intimate with a woman, and laying back and letting her go down on me has always felt passive to me. Disconnected. As if I could lean back and read the Economist or slurp a bowl of soup while being, uhhh, serviced. Keep reading »
I’m back in the dating game again, sorta, and I’m not thrilled about it. One of the reasons? I remember, oh-so-well, how annoying it was when guys I thought I was connecting with and having fun with, pulled “the fade.” That is, when you’ve gone out on a few dates, had a great time, maybe hooked up a little, and then, BAM! He’s gone. Like he got lost in the Bermuda Triangle and forgot his cell phone. WTF is up with that? Are we blind to the signs that someone isn’t that interested? Did he meet someone new overnight? I went to my trusty soldiers, the guys on our IM, to get an explanation. Some of them clued me in quickly — others gave me a “Choose Your Own Adventure” style quiz… Keep reading »
I just read the world’s most obnoxious article in The New York Daily News. According to the reporter and his panel of experts/douchebags, short hair on a woman is a total turn-off for men. Unfortunately, this is hardly the first time I’ve heard this and I can’t help but wonder if this “rumor” is the reason why you don’t see many 20- and 30-something women with cropped ‘dos — after all, Halle Berry and Natalie Portman can pull off the look, but they could pull off just about anything and men would drown in a puddle of drool. So, I decided to go to the experts on such matters — the guys on our IM. Of course, I hardly think women should allow THE MAN to dictate what she does with her hair (or body, or, you know anything), but my curiosity compelled me to ask. Check out their responses, after the jump… Keep reading »
Some of you might have heard of or read Neil Strauss’ The Game, a fawning book about a silver tongued Casanova who goes by the mysterious code-name Mystery. Probably many more of you have seen ridiculously dressed beanpole Mystery tutor his homoerotic boy-cult on Vh1′s reality show “The Pick-Up Artist.” Is it just me or does he look like cross between a Las Vegas magician and a Dr. Seuss character? What you don’t know is if you know a guy who’s signed up for a class in picking up women (like New York’s “The Art of Charm”) or sloppily employed the social tools taught in these classes, written about in books, or demonstrated on television shows. Keep reading »
There’s a commonly held belief that men are always thinking about sex. Always. I actually think women think about sex almost as often, though not necessarily in the same ways. But another accepted belief is that dudes would have sex all the time, if given the choice — I wasn’t sure if that was true, so I decided to needle the guys on my IM about these two topics — how often they’d like to do it and how often they’re thinking about doing it. While I wasn’t entirely surprised by their answers, I was fascinated. Find out why, after the jump… Keep reading »
A Note On Playing It Safe: The Frisky thinks safe sex is smart sex – so please practice it in the way that’s right for your relationship.
So, NPR posted a story saying that condom-less sex is the new engagement ring, because going bareback shows the same or similar kind of intimacy and trust and commitment that traditional marriage does. I see their point, though the man-friend and I dropped the connies well before we got engaged — but only when we’d agreed to be monogamous and had done the all important STD-tests etc. Over at fellow lady blog Jezebel, outgoing Features Editor Moe says about sex without a condom:
“…here is the irrefutable: it feels awesome. Maybe that is because I have only really engaged in bareback sex with the types of dudes who don’t fear HPV and whose diseases I don’t particularly fear, because the worst thing I can think of about most of them is the ensuing lifetime of awkward conversations…”
In other words, sex with condoms sucks, the worst that could happen to me if I go without condoms with a dude is maybe I could get pregnant or get HPV or “diseases I don’t particularly fear” and of having those diseases, the worst part is having awkward conversations with future sex partners. There is so much that is ridiculous about that statement, but I’m not in the business of ripping people apart for their personal sexual choices.
Keep reading »