As I wrote yesterday, if you have any desire to possibly, maybe having something deeper than bed rockin’ nookie with a dude, you shouldn’t sleep with him on the first date. I came to this conclusion after many years of experience, chatting with friends (men and women), and having a late night, New Year’s champagne-infused to heart-to-heart with a friend’s husband. But I didn’t think it was fair to use him as my sole source, so I decided to pester the guys on my IM about their experience and impressions of first date sex and whether they could see developing a relationship with a lady they banged on the first date. Keep reading »
Tag Archives: what men think
Blow jobs are overrated. There. I said it. I know men who would fight a grizzly bear with a spork for a little mouth love. I also know women who guard their oral sexing technique the way a pharmaceutical company protects its most precious patents. But I’m just not a dude who loves blow jobs. I’m an active guy, when it comes to being intimate with a woman, and laying back and letting her go down on me has always felt passive to me. Disconnected. As if I could lean back and read the Economist or slurp a bowl of soup while being, uhhh, serviced. Keep reading »
I’m back in the dating game again, sorta, and I’m not thrilled about it. One of the reasons? I remember, oh-so-well, how annoying it was when guys I thought I was connecting with and having fun with, pulled “the fade.” That is, when you’ve gone out on a few dates, had a great time, maybe hooked up a little, and then, BAM! He’s gone. Like he got lost in the Bermuda Triangle and forgot his cell phone. WTF is up with that? Are we blind to the signs that someone isn’t that interested? Did he meet someone new overnight? I went to my trusty soldiers, the guys on our IM, to get an explanation. Some of them clued me in quickly — others gave me a “Choose Your Own Adventure” style quiz… Keep reading »
I just read the world’s most obnoxious article in The New York Daily News. According to the reporter and his panel of experts/douchebags, short hair on a woman is a total turn-off for men. Unfortunately, this is hardly the first time I’ve heard this and I can’t help but wonder if this “rumor” is the reason why you don’t see many 20- and 30-something women with cropped ‘dos — after all, Halle Berry and Natalie Portman can pull off the look, but they could pull off just about anything and men would drown in a puddle of drool. So, I decided to go to the experts on such matters — the guys on our IM. Of course, I hardly think women should allow THE MAN to dictate what she does with her hair (or body, or, you know anything), but my curiosity compelled me to ask. Check out their responses, after the jump… Keep reading »
Some of you might have heard of or read Neil Strauss’ The Game, a fawning book about a silver tongued Casanova who goes by the mysterious code-name Mystery. Probably many more of you have seen ridiculously dressed beanpole Mystery tutor his homoerotic boy-cult on Vh1′s reality show “The Pick-Up Artist.” Is it just me or does he look like cross between a Las Vegas magician and a Dr. Seuss character? What you don’t know is if you know a guy who’s signed up for a class in picking up women (like New York’s “The Art of Charm”) or sloppily employed the social tools taught in these classes, written about in books, or demonstrated on television shows. Keep reading »
There’s a commonly held belief that men are always thinking about sex. Always. I actually think women think about sex almost as often, though not necessarily in the same ways. But another accepted belief is that dudes would have sex all the time, if given the choice — I wasn’t sure if that was true, so I decided to needle the guys on my IM about these two topics — how often they’d like to do it and how often they’re thinking about doing it. While I wasn’t entirely surprised by their answers, I was fascinated. Find out why, after the jump… Keep reading »
A Note On Playing It Safe: The Frisky thinks safe sex is smart sex – so please practice it in the way that’s right for your relationship.
So, NPR posted a story saying that condom-less sex is the new engagement ring, because going bareback shows the same or similar kind of intimacy and trust and commitment that traditional marriage does. I see their point, though the man-friend and I dropped the connies well before we got engaged — but only when we’d agreed to be monogamous and had done the all important STD-tests etc. Over at fellow lady blog Jezebel, outgoing Features Editor Moe says about sex without a condom:
“…here is the irrefutable: it feels awesome. Maybe that is because I have only really engaged in bareback sex with the types of dudes who don’t fear HPV and whose diseases I don’t particularly fear, because the worst thing I can think of about most of them is the ensuing lifetime of awkward conversations…”
In other words, sex with condoms sucks, the worst that could happen to me if I go without condoms with a dude is maybe I could get pregnant or get HPV or “diseases I don’t particularly fear” and of having those diseases, the worst part is having awkward conversations with future sex partners. There is so much that is ridiculous about that statement, but I’m not in the business of ripping people apart for their personal sexual choices.
Keep reading »
It’s an exciting week! We’ve got not one but two new additions to the “Guys On Our IM” roster (including one of our boys at AskMen.com), each desperate to wow your lady skulls with their revelations on the male psyche, sex drive, and beating heart. This week, I broke ‘em in hard, asking them to confess how they really feel when they aren’t able to make a sexual partner climax. Depressed? Suicidal? Meh? Sadistically happy? Find out, after the jump! Keep reading »
In yesterday’s post about the 30 things women love that men don’t understand, I listed “sexless cotton brief underwear” at number 11. Those are my favorite kinds of lingerie — in cute, fun prints, yes, but cotton, usually paired with a bright, cotton bra with about as much sex appeal as Rainbow Bright. I’ve got some “sexier” lingerie, I suppose, including this lacy bra thingy I bought on The Frisky’s big bra fitting trip earlier this year that has ribbons cascading from it that I save for special occasions (special occasions I won’t be having for another three months, at least). Anyway, my ex never seemed to really notice my undergarments which was great when I was wearing some holey, period-stained thong, but kind of was a bummer when I took the time to match and traded in cotton for lace. But I’ve heard similar complaints from other women — do dudes really give a crap whether the women they’re about to make sweet love to is wearing practical panties from The Gap or a sheer lace booty boy short from La Perla? And if not, why the hell are places that charge $50 for a tiny scrap of fabric still in business? I interrogate the guys on my IM about their lingerie preferences, after the jump… Keep reading »
Before I reveal the secret reason men love strip clubs, I’d like to directly address all the “cool” and “open-minded” women out there who insist on accompanying their boyfriends and husbands to jiggle joints: stay home. I appreciate your enlightened attitude towards dude culture, and your bad girl enthusiasm, like when you whoop it up with a stripper, publicly dabbling in hetero-flexibility for your man. But really, you’re not declaring yourself a pansexual pioneer, proving how laid-back and awesome you are to your man’s salivating bro-dawgs. You’re keeping tabs on your boyfriend or husband and you know it.
So why is it that guys love strip clubs — even guys who totally xoxo their rock star girlfriends? There’s the obvious answer: to look at nekkid boobs that aren’t the boobs attached to the rock star girlfriends they totally xoxo. Keep reading »