In the 2007 remake of “3:10 to Yuma,” Christian Bale’s character loses his leg while fighting in the Civil War. As compensation, the government gives him a sum of money, which he uses to attempt to forge a new life. After he fails miserably, he realizes that the government never actually cared about helping him. They just wanted to erase any obligation they had. He sums up his disillusionment more cynically than anything Batman ever came up with: The government didn’t give him the money so he could walk away. They gave him the money so they could walk away.
Recently, I discovered that the same idea applies to dating. Keep reading »
While most will probably remember 2012 as the “Year Of The YOLO” (and by “most” I mean “like seven people”), it holds special significance for me because it’ll likely be the first year since 2002 where I spent the entire year single. I haven’t completed a full calendar year yet — May will make it seven months since the former Lady Champ and I decided to go our separate ways — but because I seem to enjoy doing random anthropological experiments on myself for absolutely no reason (and because I’m an INTJ and INTJs apparently suck at relationships), I’m confident that I’ll make it to 2013 without having to change my Facebook relationship status again.
Anyway, if I could sum up my seven months of singledom in one word, it would most likely be “interesting.” I’ve met some “interesting” people, done some “interesting” things, made some “interesting” decisions, and, most importantly, thought some “interesting” thoughts. The most “interesting” of these “interesting” thoughts? Being a single man is kind of overrated. Read more…
Think of the best first date you ever went on.
Got it? Okay, what did you do immediately afterwards?
If you’re like some women I’ve been out with, you called up your best friend and gushed all about the date. You even posted a not-so-subtle status update on Facebook. Something along the lines of, “Just had an AMAZING night!”
Now, here’s my next—and more important—question:
Before you gushed to your best friend, before you flaunted your euphoria all over Facebook, did you ever stop to consider how your date might have felt about that “amazing” night?
One scenario I encounter frequently on dating advice sites is the woman who goes on a fabulous first date, only to find herself confused when she never hears from that guy again. So, she’s left to wonder … What happened?
“The date went so well. We had so much fun and clicked so amazingly. He was hot and charming and intelligent. I was hot and charming and intelligent. He couldn’t take his eyes off me the whole night So… why didn’t he call again?!” Keep reading »
Earlier today, we brought you the top 10 lies women tell men. Now, because it’s National Honesty Day, we’ve got the top 10 lies men tell women. Women may be inclined to lie about their weight, mental state, and how much they really spent on that LBD, but with dudes it’s a whole different game. We suggest printing out this handy list of the white, gray, and black lies that you’re most likely to come across when dealing with the male sex. You never know when you’ll need it for reference. Keep reading »
Want to spice things up in the bedroom? Make his night and drive him crazy with these sex positions that men love. Ultimately, sex is about love and intimacy, so while the positions are part of the fun, the real payoff is the way various maneuvers allow you to connect and explore each other in different ways.
1. Woman on Top: Ask your guy what drives him crazy in the bedroom, and we’re betting he’ll say it’s pleasing you. This sexy position puts you in the driver’s seat, and that’s exactly where he wants you. Take advantage of being in control and set the pace according to what you like, leaving his hands free to roam. The bonus? He loves having your curves in full view … so flip on the lights and give him a show. Read more…
I’ve always prized the uniqueness of my first name. Pronunciation is lost but the singularity is worth the explanations and corrections during introductions. After my wife Olivia and I were married last August, I was excited about the opportunity to conceive a new last name together. We knew that the hyphenation of our last names to Hoselton-Hopkins was too clumsy and conjoining them into a new name, Hopelton or Hoselkin, was even worse.
I think it was Shakespeare who wrote, “It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.” Yup. I’m pretty sure he wrote that.
It is hard to say goodbye. I am not a fan of it. I try to avoid actually saying it if I can. But you can’t always avoid it. Which is why I like to think that “goodbye” is just “I love you,” played backwards on vinyl. Love and loss are two sides of the same toaster waffle. In this life, you’re either declaring one or tearfully saying the other.
But usually, I find ways not to say that word. I prefer to say “see you around,” then choke back man tears as I walk away (man tears taste exactly like Tobasco sauce). Most of the time, I don’t even say anything. I just sneak away without telling anyone. Keep reading »
I’ve talked about my often-disastrous relationships in a number of my columns, and every time I do, I get dozens of messages from people asking me to elaborate. Not that I’m an expert — it’s more like how you see a guy come screaming out of the woods covered in bees and you ask him where he found the hive, so you can avoid it.
So, the most common question I get (besides “Will you please stop sending me pictures of your penis?”) is “How do I know if this is the one?” which I think is a stealth way of asking me, “How can I avoid the hellish divorce that haunts your memories?”
Well, if you want to avoid the bees, I say you should always keep in mind … Keep reading »
I recently because rather obsessed with the Sock Bun, a method of styling your hair into a bun that, yes, involves a sock. Basically, you snip off the toe of an old sock and then roll the sock into a donut shape. Then you put your hair in a ponytail, slip the tail through the center of the sock donut, and roll and tuck your hair over and under the donut until it’s at your crown. (Here’s a good tutorial.) It basically makes your bun look a whole lot fatter and, I’ll admit, pretty damn good. I’ve been practicing the sock bun on my own hair with decent results; this technique gives a bun a certain refinement that twisting it up with an elastic just doesn’t. Which is strange because you have an old sock in my hair. Generally, though, no one knows that. It’s your and your sock bun’s little secret. But then it occurred to me that the sock bun would not be the ideal hairdo for a date/makeout session. Seriously, what a dude do if a moment of passion was interrupted by him finding an old sock in your hair? So I went to the guy I always ask ridiculous questions like these, John DeVore. Here is what he had to say. Keep reading »
When approximately 70 percent of the Man Panelists cited “The Fifth Element” in our recent Valentine’s Day Man Panel, Amelia asked me what the deal was. “I have never even seen that movie,” she said, “but it must be a dude requirement.” Growing up with three brothers, I knew that it is in fact a dude requirement, and this got me thinking about other movies men obsess about. I surveyed my guy friends to flesh out a top 10 list and asked them to explain the appeal of each film. And now, without further ado, here’s our field guide to guy movies…