I recently made a gay joke, and I should know better. Actually, I made two, and one of the jokes backfired. For guys, the term “gay” is an adjective that means “not masculine.” Chamomile tea? Gay. “Wicked: The Musical”? Gay. Capri pants? Gay. In the new bombshell Rolling Stone article about General Blabber and his knitting circle of kvetching combat hens, one of his aides refers to a diplomatic meeting with the French as “gay,” as if the talks were to be conducted with mimes wearing pink berets. I’ll kindly remind that while the French can be over-intellectualizing flowers, they did manage to invent the fist execution machine, write the blueprint for the modern military dictator, and ran a colonialist, mercenary army. Not to mention, inspire the first cartoon skunk rapist.
“That’s so gay” is an insult, a pop cultural punch-line, and a casual, socially acceptable form of prejudice. Prejudice is fear on the offense. It will never cease to amaze me how even the beefiest, baldest, baseball-cap wearing frat-beast is utterly terrified, and convinced, that every gay man in a half-mile radius has a zombie hunger for his junk. To be fair, it’s terror, and just a little bit of vanity … that traditionally feminine vice. Keep reading »
It’s time for me to confess: I’ve been seeing another woman.
No, she’s not a cocktail waitress or a nightclub promoter or a porn star, but she’s cute, has a killer smile and looks good in a dress. I’ve tried to rationalize the relationship as the inevitable by-product of a common stagnation period for marriages: my wife Dorothy and I are about to enter our fifth year.
But that argument just doesn’t fit. Keep reading »
Online dating is the romantic equivalent of eating at Denny’s: There’s a menu full of tantalizing photos and enticing descriptions, but that Grand Slam breakfast never looks quite as good when it’s sitting in front of you. Read more …
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Recently, it has come to my attention that there are women out there curious about the self-love habits of the male species. (Specifically, a Frisky staffer who will probably get angry if I give her a shout-out in this post.) Since I have opined about female masturbation, it seems only fair that I pontificate on the mysteries of men self-pleasuring. As The Frisky’s houseboy/wizard/testosterone consultant, I feel it is my responsibility to explain such things. But first things first: your boyfriend or husband masturbates. No, this doesn’t mean you’re not satisfying him in bed. Tsk-tsk, it’s not always about you. This just means he has a penis, and some time to kill. Remember, female orgasms are tiny little atomic blasts. Male orgasms are more like Roman candles. Which we buy in bulk. Keep reading »
For the typical hot-blooded male, looking at attractive female shapes and body parts is as natural as breathing. And it’s perhaps just as necessary when it comes to keeping the human race going. Remember, the men who are alive today have been biologically selected over hundreds of thousands of years to be good at focusing on fertile females. Read more … Keep reading »
Danish filmmaker Esben Tønnesen made this short about a little boy who wants to learn more about girls. Aw! The battle of the sexes has never looked so cute. See who wins, grade school style.
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