A few weeks ago I turned to my guy and asked, “When you have to pee, can you feel it in your penis?” He raised his eyebrows at me and said, “No, Jess, I feel it in my bladder, like every other human being.” Well, excuse me for not knowing much about male anatomy. Am I right, ladies? Guy’s bodies are a little confusing sometimes—and we can sure as hell think of some things men don’t know about women’s bodies: Keep reading »
Women, on behalf of all men everywhere, we have a request: more unplanned morning sex.
Don’t get me wrong, the nooner is outstanding. Samesies afternoon delight. We love spending all day in bed with you. And we’re frickin’ psyched when you jump us in an unexpected, possibly semi-public place. But getting nasty before we break the fast-y is a real treat. It has us walking a little taller all day long. Other guys will recognize a certain spring in our step and envy us. Read more …
7 Things to Say While Getting It On
What Your Number Says About You
How to Kiss Well Keep reading »
When it comes to sex, women talk too much and men talk too little. Actually, let me revise that. Women talk too much about sex with one another, and men talk about sex with one another just enough, which is to say, hardly at all. While my gender may have the occasional communication skills of an ATM and all the emotional agility of limbless baboons, there are things we can teach your gender, the hyper-articulate, deep feeling, lavender-soap-smelling variety. Namely, it is not always necessary to divulge every single sordid detail about what happened Friday night. Now, don’t you feel liberated? Keep reading »
Esquire.com recently posted a “personal catalog” of 30 “likes, dislikes, habits, and rules” about the way men eat. I haven’t thought much about it before, but looking at this list, I suddenly realize that men and women are practically opposites when it comes to mealtime. After the jump, 10 habits and rules for men from Esquire, plus our own personal catalog of 10 likes, dislikes, habits, and rules about the way women eat. Keep reading »
A reader wrote in asking me why most men are “fascinated” with redheads. In this instance, I think “fascinated” is a nice way of saying “obsessed.” She admitted to being a redhead, and, therefore, the object of such ardor. She’s asked these men why they are so drawn to the crimson-haired, and the best she ever got out of them was “Redheads iz just hawt, yo!” This is true, but it is not the whole truth. Keep reading »
Because I think it’s important to face your fears, I did something today that terrifies me. I signed up for Paul Janka’s website. In case you aren’t familiar with the Jank, he’s a notorious Brooklyn pick-up artist and compulsive dater. Here are a few gruesome facts about him… Keep reading »
“Hi Kristen, I have a problem that I think many women might have. I am a little embarrassed to have my boyfriend see me completely nude. To me my body seems just average I guess, nothing spectacular and certainly not one I would call sexy. However, my guy likes to see me undress and worse, likes to have the lights on during sex! To be fair to him, he has never made a negative comment about my body. On the contrary he seems to like it! I can’t help but wonder though, what is he really thinking when he sees me naked!”—–Callie
What’s he really thinking when he sees you nude? Two words: eye candy. And quite honestly Callie, he’s more than likely not thinking at all! Continue reading…
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I’ve learned a lot of things from the women in my life. How to appreciate wine, do my own taxes, not be a douchebag. And because of them, I am a fan of Pinot Noir, keep a shoebox of receipts, and am a fan of Pinot Noir. But more on this later.
Sex without dirty talk is a bland affair, like chicken nuggets without the hot mustard. Without that whispered verbal communication and the trust that goes with it, body and mind aren’t connected. No, I’m not getting all Deepak Chopra all up in this joint. Sex is a brain thing as much as a skin thing. Without uncensored, honest, blushing dirty talk in bed (or the backseat, stairwell, or under the kitchen table) there is no way to find out if she needs it faster or slower. You’d never learn that she likes her hair pulled to the left, while you softly kiss her jaw line on the right side of her face. Apparently, there’s a world of difference between a flick and a pinch. These are important facts, and the reverse is true when you’re with your man. Keep reading »
When it comes to “feminism,” I have more questions than answers. So I emailed Sady at the smart, free-wheeling lady blog Tiger Beatdown and asked her if she’d answer some of them. In the interest of full disclosure, she has, on occasion, offered succinct and thoughtful analysis of some of my work on this site. I realize that what I know about “feminism,” specifically its recent history and its academic role, could fit into a thimble. My questions might seem basic, but remember, I’m the one with the testicles over here.
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A reader sent me an email and asked me if I would ever date someone with an incurable STD. She had recently been diagnosed with the HSV virus (that’s herpes, y’all), and wanted my answer to be honest and not “PC.” So here it is goes, my unvarnished, gut reaction to the question: No, I would not date someone with an incurable STD. Keep reading »