Tag Archives: what men think

At The Boys’ Club: The Top 10 Reasons To Stay Facebook Friends With Your Ex

Over at Asylum, the dudes are waxing on a topic we’ve covered quite a bit here at The Frisky — whether or not you should stay Facebook friends with an ex. So what’s the dude perspective? They’ve come up with 10 reasons why you should keep the lines of communication open, at least on the social networking site:

When your girlfriend gives you the dreaded “Let’s just be friends”-speech, don’t overreact. Many guys, in a fit of anger, would proceed to burn every other bridge linking he and his newly minted ex, including deleting her from his list of friends on Facebook. This course of action is a mistake. Put on your “Bruce Willis”-face and remember these 10 reasons for keeping up cyber-appearances. Whether or not you take these directives seriously is, of course, entirely up to you.

Read more and then tell us whether you agree or disagree … Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: You Are Not “Single” — You Are Ronin

“Single” does not mean “Unloved.” “Single” means “I’m making myself a magical pot of pasta and re-watching season three of ‘The Wire.’ What are you bringing to my dope-ass party?”

”Those are our cosmic marching orders from the top down: Beget while the begetting is good. If the universe is such a smarty, why did it make life so fragile that it has to perpetually procreate? The same universe that filled the suffocating void of space with fire and ice also made life pretty flimsy. Did it run out of materials? Why didn’t it just make us out of diamonds and granite? If we were more durable, maybe we wouldn’t have to follow such strict rules. Thankfully, what makes us human is our adorable penchant for occasionally ignoring our biology. We eat forbidden fruit. Build towers of Babel. LOLcats serve no specific evolutionary purpose.

There’s a big difference between being alone and solitude. Recognizing this difference is the first step in wresting control of your story from the cliché script pop science says we can’t help but follow. When you’re alone, you feel lonely. Unloved. “Single.” Loneliness is just not being able to stand the person you’re stuck with your whole life. And that person is you. Loneliness covets what others have and frequently instant message. Loneliness can feel like emptiness inside, but it’s the opposite. It’s more like a cavity – a damp hole that’s full of rotted hopes, selfish prayers, and fear.

Solitude, on the other hand, is our soul’s default setting. Solitude is being alone, but not lonely. Solitude is an art; it’s projecting an avatar of yourself in the inflatable bounce house of your mind and giving that version of you a hug. It’s building a secret garden and throwing up a gigantic golden door not to keep people out, but to see if there’s anyone clever enough to pick the lock. Being “single” does not, in fact, mean you are incomplete. It means you are totally complete. “Single” is not a brand that scars Facebook and dating site profiles. “Single” does not mean “Unloved.” “Single” means “I’m making myself a magical pot of pasta and re-watching season three of ‘The Wire.’ What are you bringing to my dope-ass party?”

Men don’t fear the “single” label. We have our own issues and fears, but they are likewise illusory, socially created scarecrows, and generally deal with how every man is a falcon, a mighty falcon everyone wants to pluck! I’ll just go ahead and save that generalizing rant for another day. Men don’t mind being “single,” because we have mythologies that celebrate the whole notion of being on your own. Woman, you are not “single.” You are “Ronin.” Now, I know what the overwhelmingly female readership who frequent The Frisky are thinking, Do you mean nerd legend Frank Miller’s 1983 dystopian sci-fi comic book epic Ronin or the gritty 1998 cloak-and-dagger classic “Ronin” starring Robert De Niro? No on both points, ladies!

I am referring to the Ronin of medieval Japan. Ronin are samurai, the mighty warrior class who wield razor-sharp katana swords with fatal grace and serve at the pleasure of a feudal lord. Specifically, however, Ronin are samurai who have no master or lord, either because said lord was killed or disposed. They were free agents of badass. Granted, the most famous Ronin died avenging the murder of their master. But Ronin could also just, you know, stroll around the countryside, drinking tea and writing poetry about nature’s splendor, and hacking off the arms of bandits and nogoodniks. They are alone, and answer to no one. Ronin are serene and powerful, merciful and courageous. Ronin live that ancient Zen saying, “Que sera, sera.” A Ronin respectfully bows before kingdoms wild and civilized so that he may peacefully pass and resume strolling along the path he is forging for himself. Now, re-read that last rambling sentence and replace each “he” with a “she.” See? You’re not single. The world needs you, not the other way around. Sit and breathe. Defend the weak. Stop to salute the lotus flower. Roam the world and never feel alone. You are Ronin – you answer to no one. Your heart is your only master.

Follow John DeVore’s preening narcissism on Twitter.

Guy Talk: In Defense Of Handjobs

Newsflash! Ladies, your man doesn’t always want to hang out with your vagina. Sometimes the most erotic and exciting thing in the bedroom is your hand. No way, this can’t be true, you’re thinking. Aren’t handjobs for sleepaway camp and when I’m on antibiotics? Aren’t they passé like beepers and hotmail accounts? The short answer is NO. But lucky for you, I’m going to give you the long answer. Finally, someone will stand up to the powerful vagina lobbyists in Washington and explain how our nation got hoodwinked into thinking handjobs are lame. My theory is simple and, naturally, revolves around baseball and Benicio Del Toro. Keep reading »

8 Totally Mean Things Women Do To Men

The dudes over at AskMen.com came up with a list of “10 Cruel Things Women Do To Men,” including giving out fake phone numbers, withholding sex, flirting to make you jealous, etc. OK, I’ve done that last one. But as a lady, I can confess a few more sins I’ve seen my kind do to dudes. After the jump, a few more mean things women do, plus a gal’s advice on how a man can defend himself from such attacks! Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Here Comes Daddy In The Baby Carriage

The clever lyric goes: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” But an even greater lyric might go: “Life is what happens while you’re feeling about 11 years old.” I’m often told by my shrink that the greatest challenge for men is reconciling that they are in fact adults, while the majority of women he sees are in therapy to stave off turning into their own mother.

So let’s see: that would mean my wife and I (and most other couples) are quite the fetching pair: An adolescent boy strolling down the street with his lady’s mother.
Keep reading »

10 Fascinating Findings From The Great American Male Survey

AskMen.com’s The Great Male Survey of 2010 only confirms what I already suspected: I don’t know jack about dudes and I never will. What fascinating and complex creatures they are. Well, maybe not complex. After the jump, 10 man stats that I found very, very interesting. Keep reading »

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