I’ve been dating a guy for seven months. He’s in the middle of an easy divorce (no kids, no assets). I’m going through a divorce too (I have kids). We were head over heels for each other in the first few months. He had no issues with me having kids. He would always ask to see me, and we did tons of fun stuff together. I had a toothbrush at his house, and even had dinners with his parents. Great, right? But in the past few weeks, he’s distant, not making an effort to see me. He makes excuses about work, and when I ask him about it he says I’m overreacting, that sometimes life gets in the way and there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. I’ve been making all the effort, rearranging my schedule to spend time with him, and he doesn’t seem to appreciate it. He has a very lax, “ehhh I’ll see you when I see you” attitude. He says he’s not looking to remarry any time soon and I’m honestly not either, but there has to be an in-between phase, right? We can be in a relationship and take it easy, but I don’t get the 180-degree change in behavior. Why is he so in-between? – Danielle
It could be a lot of things. He could be dealing with a lot of pain. Maybe he’s not that into you anymore. Or he could in truth, be really busy with work and life and all that complicated stuff. But here’s the point: IT DOESN’T MATTER. His deal is his deal. Focus on yourself. Keep reading »
This is our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested.
Mr. Nice and I met in 2012. Our first date lasted 13 hours: incredible, as was every date after that. We’re both divorced: he’s 52 and I’m 46, each with two kids (his in college, mine in high school). We’ve kept the kids out of it, so neither has been to the others’ home.
About eight months in, he started to become withdrawn, calling less frequently in the evening. We were still going out several times a week (dinners, movies, etc.), but it was not the same.
I finally inquired, and he gave me this response: he moved a deceased friend’s wife and four kids into his house. The friend’s wife was going through cancer treatment, unable to work, had no family, and was on the verge of homelessness. He felt he had no option but to help. He went on to say there wasn’t anything going on between them (he volunteered info), and that he hadn’t it shared with me because he didn’t know how I would respond. He said he adored where we were relationship-wise and wanted to continue. (Eight months into dating, we weren’t having sex. Lots of heavy kissing and cuddling, even a few weekend get-aways in a shared bed, but no sex). We both agreed early on that sex complicates things and we really wanted to take it slow. Keep reading »
Sure, I’d imagine some guys wish they took advantage of their single days more, just as women do. But sex regrets have to go beyond not hooking up with the hot girl at the bar for some men. To discover guys’ I-really-wish-I-hadn’t sexcapades, we went right to the source. Turns out, they’ve had their fair share of unfavorable partners in the bedroom (and park), too. Read all 9 sex regrets on Your Tango …
Women are everywhere these days and sexuality is one area in which women have globally joined forces to have a voice. But interestingly, in all this activism, one thing that has been slightly quiet and unheard, one thing often missing, is the male voice. A lot of emphasis is being placed on empowering women, whereas a lot of stigmas and myths around sexuality are very much directed towards men. And while I don’t believe this movement is taking away men’s voices, I don’t necessarily think it’s empowering men to understand that they have a role with a voice, too.
Let’s identify some issues in which men are often blamed for perpetuating, but in actuality, men may be just as susceptible to as women. Read all six sexual issues on Your Tango…
There’s probably never been a time in your adult life where a potential partner has turned you away because you’re too young — or too old. In a lot of ways, it makes the mystery of love all the more elusive: Does it really know no bounds? Is it really just a number?
The answer is, according to the men in the room, a resounding Yes: Love, when it comes to dudes, really does know no limits — and it really is just a number. Except, of course, for one teensy, tiny exception (that you actually won’t believe). Read more on Your Tango…
Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email him! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested. First up…
I’m 32 and married with two young children. Recently I reconnected with one of my best friends from 20 years ago online. We have always had strong feelings for each other and after high school checked in on each other a few times throughout the years. But because we’ve always been with other people, we respected those boundaries. He has always been verbal about his feeling though I haven’t. We have been able to talk to each other like no one else. In February I went to visit him and the feelings were too intense for both of us. We talked everyday, he repeatedly told me he loved me and wanted to know did I love him (although he is also married with two kids). Eventually it got physical. We had a conversation once about him not wanting to hurt anyone else involved … he says there were are so many people who could get hurt if we were to leave our spouses (which is what I wanted). I asked him to just for once consider our feelings, because we never have, and for a few weeks it was great. Then the last time I saw him we had sex. He called me 30 minutes later to tell me how much he loved me and hasn’t returned a call or email since then. I just want him to tell me that he fell out of love, or he thinks we were in the wrong. Or whatever the reason was … Why won’t he at least do that? If you could see the look in his eyes when he told me he loved me, I know he wasn’t lying. I’m still in love with him. He knows I have never ever cheated before and I only did it because it was him. How do I get over this? Why would a man just disappear from someone he loves and should I expect him to come back? Please help me.
Dude, this is brutal.
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Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email it to email@example.com and we’ll make sure he gets it! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested.
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year. I love her a whole bunch, but the glaring hole in our relationship is our sex life. We started off having sex almost every time we saw each other. Now, sex has become this very sad, mechanical practice that occurs very seldom. Keep reading »
This week’s Anthony Weiner dick pic scandal — part two! — reminded me of this hilarious column written by our dear Mind of Man, John DeVore. Let’s learn, from an actual man, why dudes like to send pictures of their penises. — Amelia
Men send pictures of their penises because we want the world, or the person we love, or the person we love that week, to know that we have penises. We tell ourselves it’s to make women hot and bothered, but the truth is, those pictures just make us swell … with pride. If it wasn’t aberrant behavior, we’d hang pics of our red hot on the refrigerator door like a blue ribbon from the school science fair.
I have sent one picture of my wang to one woman. We were flirting over text, and she dared me, and so I took the picture. Considering I didn’t have time to properly light my apartment, I think the photo of el generalissimo was pretty good. I framed the shot well. I mean, it was no Mapplethorpe, but it wasn’t your average Craigslist wang portrait, where all penises look like they’re attached to an aspiring sexual predator. I sent the pic as a joke, because the request was a joke. She thought the picture was funny. She thought the entire exchange between us was very funny. Too funny. It wasn’t that funny, lady. I sent a picture of my jangly-gangly as a joke, but a little awe wouldn’t have hurt. After all, while it wasn’t a serious text, I still unleashed the kraken. Keep reading »