Tag Archives: weird news

Dream Job Alert: Swiss Town Seeks Village Hermit

Swiss Town Seeks Hermit

The small community of Solothurn, Switzerland, is having a crisis, and maybe you can help. You see, there’s a cave just outside of town, the Verena Gorge Hermitage, which for the past 600 years has been inhabited by a hermit (not a single immortal hermit, obviously, but a succession of hermits). The current hermit recently had to step down for health reasons (perhaps related to not getting enough sunlight? Just a thought) and now the town is scrambling to find a replacement to keep the hermit tradition alive. Unfortunately for introverts who are salivating at the prospect of getting paid to live in a cave and never talk to anyone, this hermit job is a decidedly social one. According to an ad the town placed in a local newspaper, “The new hermit should have a religious background, have an idealistic attitude, be willing to speak with the visitors and answer to their questions or give them advice.” But! If you can put up with advising tourists about the meaning of life, the gig does come with a free cave, a monthly salary of $1,140, and paid vacation. As far as hermit jobs go, this seems like a great one. [The Daily Beast]

Love Is In The Eye Of The Beholder — Literally

When most of us get a burst blood vessel in the eye, it’s because our allergies are acting up, or God forbid, we puked too hard. And no matter why our eye looks like it’s bleeding, it tends to be gross.

This woman wins the award for the loveliest burst eye vessel in all the universe. Literally. Look closely. Her blood vessel spells out the word LOVE. Keep reading »

‘M’ Is For May And Masturbation Month

masturbation class in college

The workers of the world can have their International Workers’ Day, or Labor Day or whatever, but the month of May belongs to an equally fundamental dignity: masturbation. How did May become masturbation month? Find out on Huffington Post…

OMG: 8-Legged Octo-Goat Born On Croatian Farm

“I counted his legs and I thought I was seeing things. Then I called my neighbour to make sure that I am not crazy.”

Croatian farmer Zoran Paparic, describing his reaction to this 8-legged goat that was born on his farm recently. My response would have been more along the lines of, “WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK?!??!!” but hey, to each his own. After examining the octo-goat, vets determined that the extra legs belonged to an underdeveloped twin that hadn’t fully separated. It is unknown whether or not the newborn will survive longer than a few days, but Amelia is rooting for it, according to this message she just sent me: “I really want the octo-goat to survive so it can master galloping around on eight legs.” [You can do it buddy!!! -- Amelia] How’s that for a visual? My stomach hurts. I’m scared. I’m signing off the internet forever. [Mirror]

Jonah Falcon To Become Penis Museum’s Most Outstanding Member (NSFW)

Penis Size Map
The United States falls "short," ha ha ha. Read More »

Jonah Falcon received an extraordinary gift at birth, and now he wants to give back.

The 43-year-old Manhattanite is recognized for having the longest penis ever measured in a documentary, a distinction that has made him an Internet star. He has declined many opportunities in porn. But now, he has an offer he can’t refuse. Read more on Huffington Post…

Woman Busted With 81 Pounds Of Pot In Her Luggage At Oakland Airport

Woman Busted With 81 Pounds Of Pot In Her Luggage At Oakland Airport

I don’t know much about drug trafficking, but it seems like a no brainer that checking three suitcases packed with a total of 80 lbs. of marijuana is a great way to get caught. Maybe 26-year-old Anastasia Murdock was stoned when she came up with her grand plan to transport the weed from Oakland, California, to Jackson, Mississippi, last week. It didn’t take airport authorities long to realize Murdock’s luggage was stuffed with $100,000 worth of vacuum-sealed greenery and she was immediately arrested on suspicion of of possessing marijuana for sale and intent to sell. Ya think? She’s being held on $250,000 bail and will be arraigned tomorrow. I have two questions: 1) Can they consider a third charge for being a total dumbass? And 2) what did the police do with all that weed? [San Jose Mercury News]

Want: Willie Nelson’s Old Tour Bus (Which Is Now For Sale On Craigslist)

In the market for a new set of wheels? Want something that will set you apart from your friends and their lame-ass Volkswagen Jettas and Honda CR-Vs? How about this 1983 Eagle bus? It comes with crushed velvet curtains, stained glass windows, some sweet airbrush artwork, and gets a cool 7 MPG highway. Need more convincing? What if I told you this bus was built for Willie Fuckin’ Nelson andused as his tour bus in the ’80s? Yep, now you’re listening, huh? This rolling rock ‘n roll relic is currently listed on East Texas’ Craigslist page, and it’s going to the highest bidder this weekend. The offers are topped out at $65,000 right now. Just $65,001 will make it yours. Don’t let this deal pass you by. [Village Voice]

RIP Society: Frat Boys Graffiti Beached Whale

RIP Society: Frat Boys Graffiti Beached Whale

I’m sorry, but FUCK the frat boys who graffitied this poor beached whale in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Seriously, fuck them forever. The 15-foot Minske whale’s corpse washed ashore and instead of being heartsick over one of Mother Nature’s most amazing creatures meeting such a sad end — the cause of death is not known — these fucking filthy frat tools decided to graffiti its stomach. Authorities say the number 94 and Greek letters signify Tau Epsilon Phi , a fraternity that is headquartered in Voorhees, New Jersey. If you’d like to join me in writing a letter to TEP’s governing board, asking them to investigate and punish those involved, you can email governance@tep.org. [Death And Taxes]

Want: Cat-Shaped Marshmallows That Float To The Top Of Your Drink

How cute are CafeCats, a line of kitty-themed marshmallows? Made by Japanese confectioner Yawahada, the cats float to the top of your hot beverage to peek out as you sip. Yawahada also makes marshmallows that melt in your mug to reveal a little pink cat paw floating in your drink. Too cute! As of right now, the marshmallows are only available in Japan, though the company hopes to sell to international customers in the future. If you don’t live in Japan but plan to visit in the future, you can preorder the treats to be delivered when you’re in town. I feel these could make a great gift for those awkward social gatherings where you only sort of know the host – everyone loves cute desserts! [Laughing SquidCatsparella] [Image via Yawahada]

Man Has Stereo Confiscated By Authorities For Playing “My Heart Will Go On” Over And Over

Reasons To Love Celine
Illustrated by 20 amazing Celine GIFs! Read More »
Celine Dion + Daft Punk
Celine Dion Dancing
One word: amazing. Watch »
I'm A Celine Superfan
And I don't care who knows! Read More »

When I saw the headline “Authorities Seize Man’s Electronic Equipment For Blasting Celine Dion,” my first thought was, Well, good! Anyone who insults Celine Dion’s flawless voice or enduring love ballads SHOULD have their stereos confiscated and/or burned in front of them! If they don’t like Celine, they shouldn’t be able to enjoy the privilege of listening to ANY music! 

Because the only time I am in favor of a police state is when it involves defending the honor of Celine Dion.

But alas, my interpretation of the word “blasting” was tragically wrong. This man didn’t have his stereo taken away for insulting Celine Dion, he had his stereo taken away for playing Celine Dion songs loudly, over and over and over… Keep reading »

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