After a mountain biking crash, a 22-year-old Irish man found himself with an erection that lasted for seven weeks. When he slammed into his handle bars during the crash, he was left with a hard-on that just wouldn’t quit. He kept the result of his “irregular bloodflow” to himself for five weeks (how he managed that is beyond me) and finally paid a visit to Tallaght Hospital in Dublin, where it took doctors two weeks to find a way to treat it. His otherwise good health made the rare case even more baffling. Keep reading »
He’s probably been the butt of a few jokes.
But seriously, kudos to Redditor “TBoneTheOriginal” for having the guts to post a picture of his non-buttcrack on the Internet and answer questions from curious onlookers. Learn more about his condition on Huffington Post…
Authorities in Philly are hard at work trying to track down “a heavyset white man estimated to be in his late 40s or early 50s” known as the “Swiss Cheese Pervert.” The man allegedly “approaches women while driving a silver or black sedan with his genitals exposed. He then displays a piece of sliced Swiss cheese and offers to pay the women to put the cheese on his penis and perform sexual acts on him using it.” Keep reading »
As most people who spend 8+ hours a day hunched over a desk, my posture is more “14-year-old boy who just hit his growth spurt” than “confident 20-something woman with a healthy spine and functioning abdominal muscles.” As much as I try to remind myself to keep my chin up and shoulders back, I’m definitely not averse to getting a little help in the good posture department, especially when it comes in the form of a cute T0shirt. Luckily for me, a French company called UpCouture has created a shirt called the “Up T-Shirt” which claims to stop the wearer from slouching. Using high-strength (but allegedly comfortable) elastic bands sewn into organic cotton fabric, the Up T-Shirt gently pulls your shoulders back, which, the company says, “results in a higher and more appealing profile.” The posture boost will cost you — the shirt retails for almost $200 — but hey, it’s cheaper than a few months’ worth of chiropractor appointments. [Design Taxi]
And people say stoners are lazy. After marijuana fans in Colorado — which recently legalized the drug — repeatedly kept stealing the 420 mile marker on Interstate 70, the Department of Transportation gave up and put up a 419.99 marker instead. “420,” of course,” is a number associated with pot-smoking culture, and Colorado is one of the few states with a highway long enough to need a 420 marker, so it’s not like there’s tons of these bad boys to rip off. ”Obviously people steal these signs,” said CDOT spokesperson Amy Ford. “In the past, if a sign was stolen too much, we wouldn’t replace it. This is sort of an innovative way for us to keep the sign there.” [Denver Post]
The Etsy description for this “cat battle armor” is just too good not to post in its entirety:
“100% wearable, flexible, and comfortable, the Cat Battle Armor is a for-reals armor harness for your kitty. Completely hand-made from durable veg-tan leather, this is no mere costume piece. Your cat will become an unstoppable force for slaughter in this fully articulated suit, shielding him/her from foes while allowing unimpeded movement across the battlefield or living room floor. The imposing torso section features several riveted, articulated plates and a terrifying rack of dorsal spines. Your cat’s hindquarters are sheathed beneath exquisitely arrayed overlapping scales stitched to a soft leather backing, adorned with nickel silver dome rivets. Midnight black scales and plates are finished with a glossy protective coat and seamlessly join together like the petals of a deadly flower. Adjustable at the collar with elastic and two nickel silver buckles, and at the belly with grommeted corset-style lacing for a secure, comfortable fit.”
Convinced your fierce feline is ready for some armor of her own? It will cost you $500, but when it comes to outfitting your pet for the zombie apocalypse, spare no expense! [Etsy]
On one hand, I fucking love burritos. On the other hand, I don’t usually trust food, other than candy, soda or chips, that comes out of a mysterious contraption located in the same space as where I pump gas. While part of me wants to get excited about the Burrito Box, “the world’s first burrito kiosk” (stationed inside two separate gas stations in LA), because, hello, EDIBLE MAGIC, I am understandably concerned about the quality, freshness and safety of sticking that edible magic in my piehole. According to Buzzfeed, the burritos come in five “flavors,” each costing $3, and you can customize your order with toppings like guacamole, sour cream and Tabasco, for an additional fee. So far, reviews are mixed. The guy who posted the photo above to Instagram said his burrito “wasn’t that bad,” which I am going to say is a positive review given his burrito came out of a somewhat mysterious orange box in a gas station. But LAist tried all five “flavors” of burrito — three of which are breakfast burritos, with eggs, BTW — and called them “bland” and “colorless and unappetizing.” But honestly? That’s how I’d describe most pricey, sit down Mexican restaurants in New York City. When I’m in LA later this month, I am totally going to go to the burrito box and report back. [Buzzfeed] [Photo: Instagram]
Is there anything cuter than a kid who thinks she’s dominating hide and seek, but is actually completely visible to everyone? The answer is no, as illustrated by this hilarious roundup of failed hide and seek photos. I couldn’t resist compiling a few of my favorites. Click through to see if you can spot these tiny masters of illusion…
Oregon couple Ryan Bensen and Erica Manley must have really enjoyed their dinner at the Twisted Fish Steakhouse, because when the bill came, they left their waitress with an extra special tip: an envelope , marked with a question mark, and filled with crystal meth. Keep reading »
This polar vortex is making people do all kinds of things that are totally out of character. Britney Spears is sharing insightful reflections about show business. “The Bachelor” contestants are trying to turn down roses. I’ve been wearing Uggs in public. Escaped convicts are turning themselves in because they’re envious of the heat in prison.
Well, at least one escaped convict did just that: Robert Vick of Hartford, Kentucky. Vick chose the worst possible week to escape from a minimum security prison in Lexington, and after attempting to rough it outdoors for two days as temperatures plummeted, Vick finally had enough. He walked into a motel and asked the clerk to call the police and ask them to please, for the love of God, bring him back to his warm jail cell. Police were more than happy to comply with Vick’s request, and today he’s nice and toasty again, albeit behind bars and with a much longer sentence ahead of him. I might normally file this in the “dumb criminal” category, but as I sit here typing this with a knit beanie and a scarf on, my only response is: I feel you, bro, and if your cell is any warmer than my office, make room, because I’m about to come join you. [People]