Tag Archives: weird news

8 Facts That Just Make Way Too Much Sense

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The universe sometimes works in mysterious ways. But other times it’s just way too obvious.

The facts below may seem too good to be true, and somehow chalking them up to mere coincidence doesn’t do them justice. All we can say is that you just might not be able to handle these truths. They just make too much sense. Read them all on The Huffington Post…

Father Hires Escort Who Turns Out To Be Someone He Knows Far Too Well

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Imagine you are a frisky 70-year-old man who decides to hire an escort for the evening when you’re out of town. (Men. Do they ever change?) When the lovely lady of the evening arrives, you notice with a shock that the woman seems very familiar. In fact, she’s more than just familiar. You know her very well. Read more on The Stir…

Life Dream Status: “Miracle Machine” Turns Water Into Wine

Miracle Machine Turns Water Into Wine
Wait, Seriously?!?!?

It might soon be much easier for all of us to become a little more Christ-like, if only in the “being able to turn water into wine” department. As you’ll see in this infomercial/informational video (seriously though, why is there a fireplace in the background? weird vibes), a tech entrepreneur and a wine expert have developed what they call the “Miracle Machine,” an “accelerated wine-making device for the home” that allows users to turn water into wine using a few affordable ingredients and a smartphone app (I don’t think Jesus had one of those). According to Boyer and James, the Miracle Machine is “controlled by a mobile app that guides you through the winemaking process on your device whilst monitoring progress,” and “takes just three days and a couple of dollars to make wine that would normally cost at least $20.” This counter-top wine maker is still in the development stages, and is projected to retail for $499, but hey, that’s a smile price to pay for the ability to make miracles happen, right? [Vimeo]

World’s Greatest Fortune Cookie Contained Winning Powerball Numbers

Apparently I have not been eating enough Chinese food. But if anything can inspire me to to starting loading up on lo mien noodles, it’s the promise of my fortune cookie bringing me actual fortune … and not just “in bed.” Keep reading »

RIP Society: Pregnant Woman Robbed While In Labor

Gives Birth In Street
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Woman gives birth on the NYC sidewalk and the local news caught it on tape. Read More »
"Grandma Showers"
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Grandma wants loot, too, when a baby is on the way! Read More »
Home Birth Live Blog
Woman liveblogs her home birth on Twitter and Facebook. Read More »

An Annapolis woman was robbed while in labor — how’s that for a baby story? According to the AP the woman and her boyfriend were making her way to the hospital when they got held up by three men. Get this — the woman’s boyfriend fled. She is in labor, they’re getting robbed and  he runs away. Let that sink in for a minute.

The robbers tried to make her let him into the apartment, but she didn’t have a key. Instead, they stole her car. Thankfully, police busted them shortly thereafter. (Had they instead noticed she was in labor and taken her in a car to the hospital, we would have the plot of a rom-com on our hands.) No word on how this poor woman is doing, but she deserves all the gold stars. And all the epidurals. It turns out that giving birth on the New York City sidewalk and a nearby local news crew catching it on tape is not the #1 Crap Terrible Horrible Way To Give Birth. [AP] [Image of pregnant belly via Shutterstock]

Teacher Accidentally Projects Amputee Porn In Classroom, Promptly Loses His Job

Teachers everywhere, hear this tale of porn-watching gone wrong and cower in fear. Why is it never a good idea to browse amputee porn just moments before your students arrive? Oh, because Murphy’s Law dictates that some way, somehow, the fornicating amputees will find their way onto the projector instead of your intended lesson plans and that before you even realize your grave mistake, one of your students will snap a photo and send it to the local newspaper. Keep reading »

An Ode To The Woman Who Attempted To Shoplift 330 Pizza Rolls From Walmart

Earlier this week, a woman was arrested after attempting to shoplift 330 Totino’s Pizza Rolls from an Arkansas Walmart. My feelings about this story can only be expressed one way — in rhyming couplets:

For anyone who’s ever tried a pizza roll or five,
you know the ooey, gooey taste can make you feel alive.
And for anyone who gets a rush from stealing little things,
the urge to pilfer pizza rolls would surely prove tempting. Keep reading »

World’s Touchiest Woman Snarls At Any Job Seekers Who Contact Her On LinkedIn

kelly blazek email

It’s a harsh job climate out there right now, as anyone scrambling to cope with unemployment and underemployment knows. And it’s an especially harsh world out there for anyone who had the misfortunate of crossing one communications professional in Northeastern Ohio.

Kelly Blazek is kind of a big deal: she runs a Cleveland Job Bank House and has gone off on anyone who has dared to try and make a professional connection with her that they are too “green” to have. As explained to the blog CleveScene, jobseekers reach out to her to get on her members-only “NEOHCommJobs” listserv. According to her, the listserv boasts over 7,300 subscribers and breaks job openings before they are posted elsewhere. It sounds like a great resource for Cleveland-ites looking for communications connections and jobs.

Perhaps it’s too great a resource. See, it seems Kelly Blazek has let running some rinky-dink Ohio listserv get to her head. Read this email from a jobseeker, followed by Blazek’s response: Keep reading »

Nursing Home Residents Recreate Famous Movie Scenes (Because You’re Never Too Old To Play Dress-Up)

Here’s proof that you’re never, ever too old to play dress-up: a group of senior citizens at a nursing home in Germany recently recreated 12 iconic movie scenes for a photo calendar. The residents, who ranged in age from 75 to 98 got all dolled up as James Bond, Holly Golightly, and, of course, Jack and Rose. The calendar was produced as a gift for the residents and their families, and is not for sale. Too bad, because I would totally buy one! After the jump, check out a few more snaps of senior citizens acting out classic scenes from “Breakfast At Tiffany’s,” “Rocky,” and “The Seven Year Itch”…

Keep reading »

A Man Had Sex With A Domino’s Pizza And … Burned His Penis

  • Please note: if you try to “make love to” a Domino’s pizza and burn your penis, you’re probably not getting a refund. Sigh. The perils of pizza sex. [Huffington Post]
  • In honor of the approaching Oscars, here is some sex and dating advice from the many characters played by Matthew McConaughey. Like, “The older you get, the more rules they’re gonna try to make you follow.” Preach, Wooderson! [Em & Lo]
  • An 18-year-old dude charted every time he masturbated for a full year. How enterprising. [Nerve] Keep reading »
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