The five frat boys from the University of Houston who broke into Sea World San Antonio clearly did not see the documentary “Blackfish,” a film about the park’s orca whales and all the people they injured or killed in captivity. Otherwise, there’s no way in hell they would have scaled the walls in the middle of the night to eat Dippin’ Dots ice cream and take selfies with the killer whales. Those of us who did see the film will never forget what happened to the gentleman who snuck into the Sea World high on drugs to take an orca joyride. Tilikum killed him. Tily and his offspring, while emotional, majestic animals under the right conditions (namely, not in captivity), are not toys to be played with. And I’m certain that they hate dumbass bros who try to takes selfies with them. Keep reading »
As if James Deen hasn’t brought enough memorable, ahem, treats to this world already, he is now presenting us with what he refers to as “the Deenut” or “the bronut.” In my mind, nothing sounded more amazing than a Deen-themed donut … until I discovered the ingredients. With a range of flavors like Sour Patch Kid, Sriracha, Beer, Dorito, and Coffee, I’m not sure I want to try them anytime soon. Keep reading »
Best newspaper correction ever? I think so. The Argus, a newspaper based in the U.K., ran an interview last week with Richard Robinson, the director of the Brighton Science Festival, and solicited questions from readers. In some kind of extremely unfortunate punctuation mix-up, two craaaaaazy quotes submitted by a paranoid reader about an imminent, deadly war between humans and goats were attributed to the esteemed scientist instead. The Argus was “happy to correct this,” and I don’t blame them. Phew! The longer we can hold off the human/goat war, the better. [Gawker]
Since hearing about the woman who found a frog in her Pret A Manger salad, I always inspect my greenery thoroughly before eating. But I’m starting to think that no salad is safe now that another woman has come forward claiming that she found a lizard arm and leg in her lunch at yet another NYC “fresh food” chain.
“After a few bites, I look down at my fork, and think, oh, ‘Is that a piece of asparagus?’And then I saw that it had eyes, and an arm.” Robin Sandusky said of her Guy and Gallard salad, which was delivered to her office from the location RIGHT NEAR FRISKY HQ. Um, I have eaten there before. Keep reading »
Look closely. That innocuous image of feline innocence is actually a scary cat-beast ready to attack at any moment. Or something like that. On Sunday night, Lux the cat had his owners trapped in a room in their own home, fearing for their safety. He attacked and scratched the seven-month-old son of his owners, Lee Palmer and Teresa Barker, after the baby pulled Lux’s tail. In reaction, Palmer kicked Lux.
The 22-pound Himalayan went haywire. Lux wouldn’t relent until the whole family, including their pet dog, was barricaded in a bedroom, calling 911, and prompting local news headlines like “family rescued from pet cat.” Keep reading »
The universe sometimes works in mysterious ways. But other times it’s just way too obvious.
The facts below may seem too good to be true, and somehow chalking them up to mere coincidence doesn’t do them justice. All we can say is that you just might not be able to handle these truths. They just make too much sense. Read them all on The Huffington Post…
Imagine you are a frisky 70-year-old man who decides to hire an escort for the evening when you’re out of town. (Men. Do they ever change?) When the lovely lady of the evening arrives, you notice with a shock that the woman seems very familiar. In fact, she’s more than just familiar. You know her very well. Read more on The Stir…
It might soon be much easier for all of us to become a little more Christ-like, if only in the “being able to turn water into wine” department. As you’ll see in this infomercial/informational video (seriously though, why is there a fireplace in the background? weird vibes), a tech entrepreneur and a wine expert have developed what they call the “Miracle Machine,” an “accelerated wine-making device for the home” that allows users to turn water into wine using a few affordable ingredients and a smartphone app (I don’t think Jesus had one of those). According to Boyer and James, the Miracle Machine is “controlled by a mobile app that guides you through the winemaking process on your device whilst monitoring progress,” and “takes just three days and a couple of dollars to make wine that would normally cost at least $20.” This counter-top wine maker is still in the development stages, and is projected to retail for $499, but hey, that’s a smile price to pay for the ability to make miracles happen, right? [Vimeo]
An Annapolis woman was robbed while in labor — how’s that for a baby story? According to the AP the woman and her boyfriend were making her way to the hospital when they got held up by three men. Get this — the woman’s boyfriend fled. She is in labor, they’re getting robbed and he runs away. Let that sink in for a minute.
The robbers tried to make her let him into the apartment, but she didn’t have a key. Instead, they stole her car. Thankfully, police busted them shortly thereafter. (Had they instead noticed she was in labor and taken her in a car to the hospital, we would have the plot of a rom-com on our hands.) No word on how this poor woman is doing, but she deserves all the gold stars. And all the epidurals. It turns out that giving birth on the New York City sidewalk and a nearby local news crew catching it on tape is not the #1 Crap Terrible Horrible Way To Give Birth. [AP] [Image of pregnant belly via Shutterstock]