Las Vegas man Wesley Warren Jr. made headlines for his unusually large ball. He was trying to raise $1 million to have his more than 100-pound scrotum removed, which is caused by a condition known scrotal elephantiasis. When “The Dr. Oz Show” offered to foot the bill for Warren’s ball surgery, he turned them down saying he didn’t want to lose the fame his testicles had earned him. Keep reading »
Florida police have finally caught long-time serial foot molester Reginald Cruz. The 23-year-old confessed to approaching hundreds of “dark-skin females” ranging in age from 10 to 32 in their cars, at their homes, and while walking down the street and requesting to touch or massage their feet. Police say Cruz used various stories, such as saying that he was trying to earn a Boy Scout community service badge or that he was a college student conducting medical research. Once he convinced his victims that he legitimately needed to touch there feet, he would start with a foot massage to determine if they trusted him enough. Then he would begin his assault, kissing their feet or sucking their toes for sexual gratification.
He must have told one hell of a convincing tale because I can’t imagine EVER letting a stranger touch my feet. I hate them so much. It’s a struggle to get a pedicure. Anyhow, I’m glad the female feet of Florida are safe to wear sandals once again. Just in time for spring! [WFLA]
Florida women! They are the oft overlooked counterpart to Florida men, who seemingly have all the fun taking bathsalts, being mermen and eating cockroaches. Florida is a beautiful place, but let’s be real, it does have a disproportionate amount of weird stuff happening too. In any case, this week, Florida women really stole the spotlight from Florida dudes. There was a smattering of fantastical, bizarre Florida moments, and because sometimes stuff (Florida stuff) falls through the cracks, we’ve put together a round up of this week’s notable Florida lady stories. Keep reading »
After experiencing a secondhand anxiety attack for the grad student who had their laptop (and 5-year thesis) stolen yesterday, this story is giving me hope. A Reddit user’s bike was stolen, and then returned three nights later with an apologetic note attached, as well as a coupon for a free lava cake at Domino’s (score!). If you can’t read the messy writing, check out the full text of the note after the jump… Keep reading »
Most reality shows can only offer their participants free booze and a fleeting chance at fame, but a new reality show called “Mars One” is upping the ante in a big, big way: they’re offering their cast a one-way ticket to Mars. Yes, really. A Dutch company is now accepting applications for aspiring astronauts/reality TV stars. The plan is for the first group of humans to depart for their new home planet in 2023, with subsequent crews joining them every two years (the journey from Earth to Mars takes seven months). Colonizing the red planet will cost an estimated $6 billion, which is where the reality show angle comes in.
According to Mars One CEO Bas Lansdorp, “Mars One intends to maintain an ongoing, global media event, from astronaut selection to training, from liftoff to landing…If humans land on Mars, everyone will want to watch. It will be bigger than the Olympic Games.” Potential participants need to keep in mind that the show might turn out to be more like “The Hunger Games” than “Mars-y Shore”: “There will be emergencies and deaths,” Lansdorp said. “We need to make sure that crew members can continue without those people.” Eesh. Keep reading »
New Zealand man Ronald Clark was sentenced to three months in jail for possession of pornography featuring cartoon fantasy creatures having sex. Clark, who was previously convicted of assaulting a teenage boy, claimed that the salacious materials were of “pixies and trolls” that “you knew at a glance weren’t human.” However, the cartoon characters in the porn were young elves and pixies, which led to concerns from an anti-child pornography group that the images were linked to child sexual abuse. As philosophy professor Grant Tavinor put it:
“The worry is that viewing or distributing such images could support the sexual exploitation of children even if the production of the images did not actually involve the exploitation of any children. It’s not enough that no one was harmed in the making of the videos, the law takes a protective role and says there are some things we just don’t want circulating in society …The ways a person entertains [himself] is not morally negligible. But for the purposes of law it is probably important to distinguish between these because convicting someone for their moral views is very dangerous.”
What do you think? Should it be illegal to watch certain kinds of porn or is that taking it too far? [Stuff]
Dear Guy Who Was Arrested For Driving Around With 53 King Cobras In His Car,
No woman can resist a guy who lives a rock n’ roll lifestyle. In fact, I’ve previously written a love letter to a guy who was so obsessed with heavy metal that he was forced to quit his job and receive disability benefits. I thought that dude was hardcore, but daaaaaamn, your badass ways make him seem like a fluffy, cuddly kitten in comparison: you were recently arrested in Vietnam for driving around with 53 king cobras in your car. I’m terrified by this story. And also intrigued. Let’s grab a bite to eat and talk about your rock n’ roll lifestyle. We’ll take my car.
Sibling roommates, Howard Meltzer, 67, and Bernice Meltzer, 72, ended up in jail this week because of an epic battle over their last roll of Charmin toilet paper.
According to Howard, Bernice stole the only remaining toilet paper roll in their home and locked herself in the bedroom with it, leaving him without anything to wipe with. For five hours, Howard waited at her door, screaming for her to give him back the toilet paper so he could use the bathroom.
“The roll was full when I went there in the morning … She unloaded a whole roll and left just a little, and when I looked up to the reserve, it wasn’t there. I said I want the toilet paper back by 1 [a.m.] or I’m calling the police,” Howard told the NY Post. Keep reading »
Dear Erwin Lingitz,
I think it was wrong that you got arrested for taking too many free samples from your local Cub Foods. They are FREE SAMPLES for godssakes! It’s not like you stole food. If you want to ravage a lunch meat sample tray, fill a produce bag with 20 cookies from the kids cookie club tray, stuff 16 packets of soy sauce, a half-pound of summer sausage and a pound of beef sticks in your pockets, GO FOR IT. If Cub Foods wants to get all high and mighty about how you violated “societal norms” by taking too many of their free samples, fuck them. They shouldn’t have left all that salami out if they didn’t want it stuffed in a customer’s pocket. I hope you sue them for encouraging you to take free samples and then punishing you for it. Keep reading »