Really now, what would you do with yourself if I wasn’t around to tell you about the goings on in my favorite state, Florida? You’d be lost, I know. Yesterday, I told you about a woman who cut her boyfriend for cutting the cheese. Today, the big Florida news involves exotic meat tacos.
At Tampa’s Taco Fusion restaurant, you can enjoy a beaver, camel, otter or even lion taco for $35 a piece — the price of 11 regular tacos.
I’m sure you’re wondering what the issue is. That you spend an entire paycheck trying to get full? Yes, that’s a problem. But an even bigger problem is that lions are being reviewed for the endangered species list, which has some customers concerned that it’s unethical and possibly illegal to serve the lion tacos. Keep reading »
Forget that cotton scent. Thanks to Le Slip Francais, men will soon have the option of wearing scented underwear that smells of musk and pears, France’s The Local reports.
The French undergarment company has raised more than 19,000 euros (about $25,000) on a crowdfunding site to launch its “Indomitable” brand, which promises afresh scent for up to 30 washes.
While wearers will still have to throw the underwear in the rinse cycle regularly — unlike the Wool & Prince shirt that can remain odor-free for up to 100 days without washing — the company promises that the microcapsules will spread the scent evenly throughout the underwear with each wash. Read more on Huffington Post Weird News…
It’s happened to all of us at one point or another. You’re sitting on the couch cozying up for a “Real Housewives” marathon and your boyfriend farts in your face. When this happened to you, you probably laughed it off or pretended to be grossed out (unless it really stank, in which case you were genuinely grossed out) and said something like, “Baby, thank you for showing me how much you care.”
That’s not how Florida woman — of course! — Deborah Ann Burns reacted when her boyfriend let one rip in her face. Instead, she threw an eight-inch knife at her boyfriend’s stomach and then proceeded to beat him with a stick. (I’m very curious about what show she was watching because I know I get upset when I get interrupted during “The Voice.”)
Burns’ boyfriend is in stable condition, but forever traumatized by his own flatulence, and she is facing charges for trying to cut someone who cut the cheese, aka aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Florida does it again. [Huffington Post; NBC Miami]
…unless you thought it was the horse doing yoga.
No it’s doing yoga, on a horse. And apparently, it’s a thing.
You don’t even have to bring your own horse. Just head to Arizona and look for crazy women wearing pink bandanas attending a “She-vent” at Hidden Meadow Ranch. With any luck, the photos of you doing yoga on a horse will be hidden from all your Facebook friends. Read more on TruTV….
Judging from this picture, Tulsa, Oklahoma, resident Cabrone Brewer does not give two fucks that he just got arrested. In fact, he’s feeling just fine about it. Brewer was arrested after his car got stuck on the train tracks Friday night (how does that happen?). He phoned 911 and when local police responded, they found Brewer in an intoxicated state. They arrested him and then found out he had an outstanding warrant. For an open container. The night of his prom.
Brewer wanted to “have a little fun with it” he told the officer who booked him and took this epic mugshot photo. Figuring “this is going to end up in that mugshot paper,” he opted to “go for the gold.”
Brewer was apparently visiting Oklahoma — he lives in Brooklyn and works as a freelance copywriter (and professional funny face maker). He was released after a night in jail on $1,000 bail. [Tulsa World]
I don’t know if this falls under the umbrella of “catfishing” or just plain old bat shit cray revenge, but a Michigan woman is facing felony charges for creating a fake Facebook profile using her ex-boyfriend’s info and using it to make it appear that he and his new girlfriend were harassing her.
Over the course of a year, 52-year-old Cheryl Nelson made eight complaints to police that her ex-boyfriend, Kevin Haarsma, and his new girlfriend stalked, harassed, assaulted and even broke into her home. According to the detective’s report, Nelson finally fessed up to her ruse: Keep reading »
I feel that it’s my doodie to let you know about some of the crappy services that you might not have known existed on the internet. I hope you enjoyed all the puns in that sentence, because they were meant to foreshadow what I am about to share: you can purchase poop online.
For about $30, depending on the what kind of excrement you choose, ShitSenders.com will anonymously deliver your choice of cow, gorilla or elephant shit to the stupid ex, evil boss, annoying neighbor or asshole frenemy of your choosing. The site’s tagline says it well: “Has some one really pissed you off? Don’t get mad, GET EVEN. Send that special some one a big stinky pile of shit.” Keep reading »
Dear Richard Oldham,
I understand that you really like World of Warcraft, the popular interactive video game. In the game, you forged a career as a blacksmith, turning not-real metals into not-real weapons. Few people take their online avatars and turn them into real careers, but most people aren’t you, Rich. Also, I suppose it’s easier to become a blacksmith than, say, a wizard or a warlock, right? Keep reading »
It’s Wednesday night, your parents are out, and you’re alone in your big, empty suburban house. What do you? If you’re a 14-year-old boy in Prospect Heights, Illinois, you hire a prostitute online. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending how you look at it), the boy’s “Risky Business”-esque plan was foiled when the prostitute arrived and instead of deflowering him, sprayed him with pepper spray and stole his piggy bank. Yep, seriously. Police tracked down the prostitute at a nearby motel and charged her with armed robbery. It’s unclear if the boy will face consequences for trying to pay for sex, but I think it’s safe to say he won’t be reenacting any more Tom Cruise movies anytime soon. [Gawker]
I love everything about the Parkham Women’s Institute, a group of old ladies in the UK who got together to hear a local speaker, retired sea captain Colin Darch, and dressed up in costume for the occasion. Seeing as the talk was about pirates, they wore eye patches and peg legs, and carried swords and fake parrots.
The only problem is that as Captain Darch began speaking, the ladies realized they had it all wrong: Darch had been kidnapped by gun-toting Somali pirates in the Indian Ocean and held captive for 47 days before ransom was paid. He was there to speak about his new book on the terror, not-so-unclearly titled Capture By Somali Pirates And Other Events At Sea. Keep reading »