Thanks to the new book, Stuck Up! 100 Objects Inserted And Ingested In Places They Shouldn’t Be, we now know that a Buzz Lightyear action figure should not go exploring inside an anus. Wait, I thought we already knew that? How did Buzz get up in there — feet first! — anyway? Forget it, I don’t want to know. I just want to gawk. This funny/weird/disturbing collection of X-rays of things that don’t belong in the human body will make you think twice before putting an iPhone in your vagina or a pair of bronzed baby shoes up your ass. [TMZ]
Breaking news in the world of appendage anomalies (my favorite). Doctors in China saved a man’s severed middle finger by attaching it to his stomach. Twenty-year-old furniture maker, Wang Yongjun lost the tip of his finger when working with an electric saw. Eeek! His doctor had to make a snap decision to save the finger with this unusual technique — making a faux umbilical cord-type thingy to restore blood flow to the tip of the digit and help regenerate a new finger. In a month from now, the wounded finger will be birthed from his stomach, good as new. Whaaa! That is insane. I am nicknaming it Wang Finger Stomach. Yes, his unique appendage was man made, but most humans with extra body parts come by them naturally. Click away for the world’s craziest extra human appendages. Prepare to be wowed. This is not your average triple nipple stuff. [Orange UK]
For the record, I don’t make a habit of hanging out with men who “manipulate their privates,” as Archeology Daily so eloquently puts it. But a new study shows that this cringe-inducing practice goes all the way back to prehistoric Europe. Analyses of phalluses in Paleolithic art show evidence of ornamental surgery performed on penises. Javier Angulo, the lead author of the study and the chair of the Department of Urology at Spain’s Hospital Universitario de Getafe, confirms that “modern primitives modified [their] genitals with the use of tattooing, perforations, and cuttings to change their appearances.” Yowch. Hey, fellas, who’s going to bring back decorative penis cutting? I’m thinking this could be a trend in 2012. Anyone? [Archeology Daily]
I like pretty much everything more than I like raves, but I also like pretty much everything less than I like dolphins. One of my favorite sea creatures (I have many), dolphins are intelligent, loyal, and adorable. They are also highly sensitive to noise — they probably even lay claim to the best hearing in the animal kingdom. Connyland Marine Park in Lipperswil, Switzerland crossed the line when they permitted an out of control two-day rave to take place just yards from its dolphin pool. Animal activists showed up in an attempt to dissuade the park from allowing the dance party but to no avail. All of the ten dolphins showed signs of stress from the thumping beats, but an eight-year-old dolphin called Shadow was particularly affected by the deafening music. The animal was acknowledged as appearing extremely “distressed and disoriented” after the event, and was later found dead. I hope it was worth it for the park — how cruel. R.I.P., Shadow. [The Sun UK]
Update: While zoo personnel originally thought that the loud music had caused Shadow’s death, it is now believed that the dolphins were fed drugs by the ravers. Two days after Shadow died, a second dolphin passed away after a drawn out, painful, and horrendous death. A dolphin expert from the marine park said, “I do not think [they] died of natural causes. I think our dolphins have been poisoned.” So sad. [Daily Mail UK]
Behold photos of what Russian woman, Marta Yegorovnam, is claiming to be an alien corpse that she kept on ice for the past two years. Marta says she discovered ET (who incidentally looks more like Slimer from “Ghostbusters”) at a 2009 UFO crash site near her summer home where she rescued it’s frog-like body from a mess of “unbearably hot” metal. Instead of calling the authorities, she threw the creature in her fridge to preserve it. Yes, naturally. What’s that rancid smell in your fridge, Marta? Oh, it’s just the rotting alien corpse I keep in there. Don’t mind it. Allegedly, the creature was confiscated last week for investigative purposes. Interesting.
OK, I’m taking bets. Real or hoax? I say, HOAX! What say you? [Daily Mail UK]
Terry Trent of Ohio was eager to get a jump on the Christmas season. The 44-year-old, allegedly high out of his mind on bath salts, was arrested for breaking into a Dayton home and putting up Christmas decorations. He was discovered watching television on the couch by the 11-year-old boy who lives there. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ll get my things and go,” Trent told the boy, shortly before a neighbor called 911. By “things,” he meant the pocket knife he was armed with. He was charged with burglary and spreading the Christmas spirit. No word on how the tree looked. If only every burglary ended so well. [NY Daily News]