Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Tag Archives: weird news
Like many of us, the first thing I like to do when I’m wasted is find the nearest multi-million dollar painting and rub up all on it. That’s just what poor Carmen Tisch, of Denver, Colorado, was trying to do when she was stopped by police for punching and then pressing her bare ass on a $30 million Clyfford Still painting.
Hi there. I thought you all needed to know about Ferret Legging. No, not leggings made out of ferret fur; Ferret Legging is a competitive animal sport I was previously unaware of (as I’m sure you were too). As the emcee in the video explains, Ferret Legging is when you take a live ferret who is fully clawed, fully fanged, fully awake, and fully sober (as all contestants are required to be), put it in your mouth to ignite its fight or flight instinct, drop it down your (sealed so it can’t escape) pants and see how long you can “endure”. Meaning, pray that the weasel doesn’t devour your twig and berries with its razor-sharp fangs before the judges crown you Ferret King. The longest a ferret has ever been “legged” was 5 hours and 26 minutes, a title held by the late Reg Mellor. I wonder if he was still virile after that? Oh, and also, sometimes white pants are worn during competition to better display the blood from the wounds. Period envy, eh? Ok, that’s enough. Why? Please explain to me. WHY? [Oddity Central]
Dear guy who tried to buy a microwave and vacuum at Wal-Mart with a $1 million bill,
Based on your shopping list, I can see you appreciate cleanliness and efficiency–you want to defrost your chicken breasts in 3 minutes and keep your carpets dustmite-free. That’s commendable. But it was the way tried to pay for these products that really has me intrigued. You handed that Wal-Mart cashier a $1 million dollar bill and waited patiently for your change. This shows me ingenuity, boldness, and, dare I say it: patriotism. Because in these uncertain financial times, your desire to stimulate the economy and your unwavering faith in the value of a dollar is downright inspiring. It makes me want to pledge allegiance to the American flag that waves proudly in the Arkansas breeze at Wal-Mart corporate headquarters.
And as soon as I’m done drawing up this $1 billion dollar bill, baby, I’m taking us to Red Lobster. [CNET]
Last time we left heard from “the Human Barbie,” Sarah Burge of the UK had taught her seven-year-old daughter Poppy how to pole dance and had given her a boob job voucher for her birthday. Now she’s made her little girl’s dreams come true yet again by gifting her a $4,500 liposuction voucher. For Christmas. In her stocking.
Will someone just give these people a reality show already so they can have their 15 minutes of fame and then disappear? When a mom is a self-described plastic surgery addict and says things about her daughter like “she asks for surgery all the time,” it’s safe to assume this crap isn’t going to stop on its own. I would suggest someone report Sarah to the British version of Child Protective Services. But sadly, it probably doesn’t legally constitute “abuse” to drum it into your child from elementary school onward that they’re going to want and/or need liposuction and breast implants one day. [Daily Mail UK]
Who would have thought Dirty Harry would have such a soft spot for a wild animal as inconsequential as the squirrel? According to a truly heartwarming story of potentially dubious origins, Clint Eastwood’s best friend is a squirrel named Lola who lives near his office on the Paramount lot. A source says:
“Clint leaves the front door open whenever he’s inside working so Lola can come and go. He gets a kick out of watching her and always keeps a bag of shelled peanuts on the bottom shelf of a bookcase in case she gets hungry. Clint would be so upset if Lola disappeared. He enjoys her company.”
How beautiful! Normally, to quote Carrie Bradshaw (ugh, I’m sorry), I consider squirrels to be rats with cuter outfits, but Clint’s ringing endorsement of the fluffy-tailed creature may have changed my mind. [Contact Music]
In honor of Clint and Lola’s love, here are 12 other celebs who are equally as obsessively attached to their pets.