Sorry to be the wet blanket, everyone. But Valentine’s Day cards that joke about stalkers? Not really funny. There’s a bunch of stalker cards like this one for sale on Zazzle.com, including a particularly disturbing one that says “Be Mine” spelled out in blood above a heart made out of a razor blade. I have a pretty irreverent sense of humor, but I don’t see any humor in joking about violence. Stalking is creepy and scary to people who actually live through it. There’s better ways to be funny if you want to fly your freak flag this Valentine’s Day. [Zazzle.com]
Concierge. Chignon. Soirée. Saying things in French just makes you seem so fancy, right? Hate to break it to you, Nancy’s, purveyor of fine frozen foods, but your use of “petites bites” isn’t what you think it means. Because the French translation of this is “little dicks.”
Little dicks, big compliments? Well, that’s one way of saying size doesn’t matter.
Forbes just released their annual list of the most miserable cities in the U.S., and this year’s winner might come as a surprise: Miami, land of sunshine, palm trees, and white sand beaches. How did a city that once had a full song dedicated to it on “Big Willie Style” becoming the reigning metropolis of misery? Well, quite a few factors contributed to the decision: unemployment rates, violent crime, taxes, home prices, and commute times. And while the super-rich continue to party ’til the break of dawn, Miami’s working class struggles with serious issues such as a foreclosure crisis that has claimed 364,000 homes since 2008. Compelling evidence for sure, but it’s always hard to know how much stock to put into these kinds of lists. Any readers from Miami want to weigh in? [Forbes]
In case you were wondering what space tastes like when fermented with your favorite varietal, you’ll be eager to try Meterorito, a Cabernet Sauvignon infused with a piece of 4.5 billion-year-old meteor rock. Winemaker Ian Hutcheon procured the meteor, which is believed to have crashed into the desert in Chile 6,000 years ago, from an American collector. Hutcheon claims that the meteor makes the flavors “livelier” and “more potent.” When you sip a glass of this wine, you’ll be “drinking elements from the birth of the solar system,” he says. Yes, please. I’ll take a case. Is that a nose of Jupiter I detect on my palate, with a hint of Mars, and a base note of the Big Bang? [Oddity Central]
Exposing marital infidelity can be a costly and time consuming endeavor. Sure, there is a plethora of high-tech methods out there, but did you know you can now go CSI-style on your significant other’s soiled undergarments to expose an extramarital affair?
A national DNA testing company, The Paternity Lab Center, is providing the relatively sophisticated technique for suspicious mates who are seeking definitive answers. Read more…