Have I mentioned that I have a mild phobia of public restrooms? I believe I have. I’m not scared of them per se, it’s just that I want to be alone when I go to the bathroom. Why should I be forced to share? It’s not cool. Since my single bathroom utopia is hard to find (unless I’m at home), I have to find some way to make this public restroom thing work. Japanese inventors came up with a solution for concealing embarrassing bathroom noises.The Eco-Otome Toilet Sound Blocker is an adorable little gadget that mimics the sound of a flushing toilet for 25 seconds. Just put it on your keychain and push the button until you or the other bathroom goer is done doing da business. A step in the right direction for bathroom-phobes. If only it didn’t cost $20. [Oddity Central]OK
Dear Robert Wilkinson (aka drunk guy who sang “Bohemian Rhapsody” to a cop),
Hello. Nice to meet you. Queen is also my favorite band, although I prefer “Fat Bottomed Girls” or “Somebody to Love.” Sometimes when the world feels overwhelming and I don’t know what to do, I sing Queen. There’s something soothing about singing their songs aloud. They help put life in perspective. Speaking of “Somebody to Love” … I think you should drop me a line if you’re sober now. I’m not into drunks. Plus you live in Canada. I don’t know if serenading cops is a regular thing for you — I really hope not. But this happened back in November, so I’m assuming you’ve got your shit together by now. I should tell you, I really liked your message about “brotherhood of men on the planet earth.” I can tell you are a peaceful man at heart and that “physical violence is the least of [your] priorities.” I think we should go do some karaoke together. What say you?
The Amish are a generally quiet folk not known for crimes and misdemeanors. But one Amish community in Ohio is in turmoil after six women and 10 men have gone on a beard-cutting spree. Yes, beard-cutting. Amish men sport famously long beards in accordance with the Bible, which they say decrees that a man must stop shearing his facial scruff after marriage. But 16 Amish folks who are reportedly having “religiously-motivated” disputes over church discpline with the people they assault are snipping off beards with hoarse shears, scissors, and battery-powered clippers. Some female members of the Amish community have also had their hair cut off, which is also considered offensive. Keep reading »
I hope that we’re being “Punk’d.”
If not, then there are people in China who boil chicken eggs in the urine of little boys. And. Then. Eat. Them.
I’m not quite sure I agree with Buzzfeed’s headline that “virgin boy eggs,” as they are called, are a “popular” snack in China, as this is the first I’ve ever heard of them. But apparently boys under the age of 10 — just boys — urinate in buckets at primary schools in Dongyang, China, and the urine is then used to cook chicken eggs. Locals claim urine-soaked, hard-boiled eggs “have miraculous properties” by promoting better blood circulation.
Chinese medical experts suggest the process is unsanitary. You know who doesn’t agree with them? This lady. [Buzzfeed]
Feminine hygiene products should be hygienic, no? Well, that was not the case when Danielle Parr went to insert a Kotex tampon into her hoo-ha and discovered that the tampon popped out of the applicator covered in mold. Let me repeat that: MOLD. MOLLLLLLLLLD. Luckily for her, she was, for some reason, removing the tampon from the applicator before inserting it so she was able to spot the black and green fungus before it was injected into her lady business. Can you imagine? I’m dry heaving. Keep reading »
Brazilian police have finally made some headway in a case that will undoubtedly be turned into a movie starring Blake Lively. Apparently, a gang of six young, attractive women has been staking out upscale shopping mall parking lots, targeting well-to-do blond shoppers to kidnap and rob. Two members of the gang hold the hostage at gunpoint for a few hours while the others drain her bank accounts and use her credit cards to buy designer merchandise. The Blondes have allegedly carried out more than 50 of these crimes, but now half of the crew has been arrested, and police have identified the remaining members. I’m sure there’s a “How many blondes does it take to commit 50 robberies” joke in here somewhere, but I won’t go there because 1) blonde jokes are stupid, and 2) I’m scared of retaliation. [NY Daily News]