Tag Archives: weird news

Mickey Mouse Got A Makeover. But What About Minnie?

You know how our grandparents grew up yelling “Hello, Mickey” back at the TV during cartoon hour? Well, today’s kids seem to view the helium-voiced mascot as more of a logo, or maybe a hat design, than as a lovable character. I guess that didn’t sit well with the higher-ups at Disney, who want their iconic moneymakers to hold not just our attention but our hearts. So Disney is re-imagining Mickey Mouse. Next fall, in a video game called “Epic Mickey,” Nintendo Wii players will have the opportunity to mold their own CGI version of Mickey, who will travel through the Small World ride gone wrong and face a disemboweled robot Donald Duck, among other dilemmas. Mickey’s appearance will change through his adventures, with the way gamers make Mickey behave. In this universe, Mickey will be a rascally character, a la Bart Simpson, which was his original persona. Sounds great. But, uh, what about Minnie? And Donald? And Goofy? And Daisy? After the jump, we suggest how to bring them into 2009 as well.. [NY Times] Keep reading »

Hypnotize Your Way To Bigger Boobs?

In an always appreciated roundup of information I actually need, the folks over at Asylum put together a list of bizarro breast enlargement techniques that don’t require several thousand dollars and a surgeon. The approach given the most credibility is, surprisingly, tit-no-therapy. I mean hypnotherapy. Because I’m not nine years old. Some people really do seem to take it seriously. The Body Contouring Programme, which sells hypnosis books and CDs for brightening the headlights, cites a list of publications that have given the thumbs up to hypnosis for bigger boobs, including two references by Deepak Chopra. The most recent of Deepak’s articles, though, was written in 1993. In fact the most recent publication referenced on the website was from 1993. Have breast enlargement hypnotherapy techniques sat stagnant that long? Are boob whisperers on the endangered species list? The Body Contouring Programme says its current in-office sessions cost $1500—is it wrong that I’m this curious? [Asylum] Keep reading »

Woman Calls 911 To Report That Her Daughter Is Better At Oral Sex

An Ohio woman must have meant to call her shrink and not the police when she reported a crime of passion in her home. What was the crime? Her daughter had performed oral sex on her husband. (He’s the girl’s stepfather.) I think that’s against the law of basic human appropriateness, but unfortunately there is no legislation for oral sex in the state of Ohio. But oddly enough, the woman wasn’t actually upset about the BJ—she was upset about the quality of the BJ. Apparently, her daughter was better at it. The police did not show up with handcuffs (these loonies would probably think the police were showing up for a kinky orgy), but I’m hoping that they suggested serious therapy for all parties involved. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. [Metro]

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Wedding Night Ruined When Bride Discovers She’s Allergic To Her Husband

Well, this is surely one way to get out of having sex with your husband. After two years of dating, Mike, 27, and Julie Boyde, 26, decided to have unprotected sex for the first time on their wedding night with disastrous results. “Before, we were always very careful and used protection — this time we didn’t,’ said Julie. “We figured, ‘we’re married, if we get pregnant, we get pregnant.’” So they went for it and Julie immediately felt intense pain, “like somebody sticking needles up inside of me like a real painful burning. It was really scary.” Medical tests eventually showed that Julie suffers from something called seminal plasma hypersensitivity, which basically means she’s allergic to Mike’s sperm and her body reacts to it with swelling, itching, and inflammation of the nerve endings. “The pain, and at times blisters, would go on for weeks,” Julie said. “On a scale of one to ten, it’s pretty much ten.” The Boydes have now abandoned their plan to conceive naturally and have started adoption proceedings. Hopefully, for everyone’s benefit, Mike got himself a vasectomy. [via Daily Mail] Keep reading »

Real-Life “Nip/Tuck”: A Plastic Surgeon Sculpts His Perfect FrankenWife

Cany, a 33-year-old waitress in the U.K., thought she had hit the jackpot when she met British plastic surgeon Dr. Reza Vossough. He wasn’t physically attracted to her, but thought she had “potential,” so asked her to be his bride. Now, I’m not talking about mental, emotional, or spiritual potential. No, I’m talking about physical potential. If Vossough couldn’t find the perfect woman, he would create her. In the five years since their wedding, Vossough has performed over eight surgeries on Cany, pumped more than 1,600 grams of silicone into her body, and spent a grand total of $29,736 on the work. And finally, he’s fallen in love with her. Maybe he was drawing his inspiration from that horrifying reality show “The Swan”? The procedures he performed on his FrankenWife—breast augmentation (she went from an A to an F), lip boost, eye lift, forehead reduction (?), tummy tuck, thigh lift, but tuck, liposuction, and Botox. “It’s almost like being God,” said Vossough. “When I first met Cany, she had physical deficiencies, but I could see there was something there. She had big hips and big thighs, so we made corrections, then did a little bit more. I was interested in working on her. It’s better than nature could do.” Anybody else scared? [The Sun] Keep reading »

Woman Calls 911 To Report A Drunk Driver—Herself


This video is kind of amazing. Listen to the 911 call from Mary Strey, a 49-year-old woman in Missouri, who called to report a drunk driver on the road. “Are you behind them?” asks the operator. “No, I am them,” replied Mary. “Well, do you want to stop driving before you get in an accident?” asked the operator. Luckily, she does. Oh, but that’s not all. Watch long enough to hear from a Michigan police officer who called 911 to report that he and a few buddies had stolen some pot they confiscated from a criminal. “We made brownies and I think we’re dead. I really do,” he said. After last week’s 911 call from a woman who just wanted to ask a cop out on a date, we’re starting to think someone should build an entire reality show around hilariously bulls**t 911 calls. [CNN] Keep reading »

The Kiss Doesn’t Have The Romantic Roots We Previously Thought

We do it as greeting, to show our sexual attraction, or to demonstrate love, but how exactly did the kiss get its start? Scientists have previously argued that the kiss evolved as a way to judge fertility, health, and genes through saliva. However, British scientists from the University of Leeds and the University of Central Lancashire claim, in the journal Medical Hypotheses, that kissing actually developed as a way to spread a necessary germ. Keep reading »

Quickies: Crying Ghost Girl & Paris Hilton Puts Out Voodoo Hit on Cristiano Ronaldo

  • Halloween means spooky, spooky ghosts are lurking, so check out what you see in the above video. [Urlesque] — Scary crying ghosts girl or figment of the collective imagination?

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Man Sends Nakey Pics Of His Ex As His Christmas Card

It’s natural to want to get revenge on an ex after he breaks your heart. But please don’t get any ideas this holiday season from Tennessee man David Simmons. David didn’t send sprigs of mistletoe or burn his ex-girlfriend’s clothing under the tree or anything moderately psycho like that. He had a far more cheerful idea. The 57-year-old decided to make some very special Christmas cards to send to his ex’s relatives — they were not of the Hallmark variety. The said cards contained explicit pictures of his ex performing sex acts on him. Let’s just say it was not a Merry Christmas for Simmons’ ex and her unsuspecting family members. Simmons will be facing charges for his attempt at spreading holiday cheer. I’m thinking his ex’s New Year’s resolution will be to stop taking nude photos. Ho! Ho! Ho! [Metro] Keep reading »

For The Frugalista: Wal-Mart Caskets

I’m not going to lie — I like Wal-Mart. Sure, I prefer Target, but there’s something fascinating about Wal-Mart. I mean, I bought a t-shirt there the other day for $3. Three bucks! That’s, like, a sandwich. Anyway, thanks to the crappy economy, Wal-Mart is the go-to shopping spot for many Americans, whether they’re looking for clothes, food, or furniture. But did you know that Wal-Mart also sells caskets? Yes, it’s true. They’re only available online — I guess it wouldn’t be too cool to turn down an aisle and find yourself surrounded by caskets — but the store’s got quite a selection for those frugalistas with someone to bury and looking to save. Ranging in price from $895 to $2,899, there is an array of styles to chose from: Lovely in All Ways, Dad Remembered, and Lady de Guadalupe. I’m partial to the American Rose with soft pink crepe interior myself. [Via Urlesque] Keep reading »

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