When my jeans start feeling tight I usually blame the dryer. And while I don’t believe the dryer is entirely to blame, at least I can comfort myself with the fact that I am not alone. According to a study by Weight Watchers, 72 percent of women own clothes that no longer fit them. In fact, the average gal has over $400 worth of threads in her closet that she’s just, well, too big for. Keep reading »
Our friends over at Lemondrop hipped us to a new study that says many parents lie to get their children to behave. For instance, parents tell their kids the police will arrest them for crying too much or that if they sit too close to the TV they’ll go blind. When I was younger, my mom didn’t have to make up stories to get me to behave — she just raised her eyebrow. The first raise was a warning, and the second meant I was in big trouble. But she did come up with one big whopper to explain where I came from. She told me she purchased me from the “baby store” and I had a twin sister, but she didn’t have enough available credit on her AmEx to buy both of us. Of course, I didn’t really believe this story at first, but when I met Arianna Harris, who had the same birthday as me, at day camp, I became a little suspicious. Good thing Arianna looked exactly like her parents.
What lies have your parent(s) told you? And what lies do you tell your children? Keep reading »
Nothing says love like a Blue Light Special, right? That’s why we’re happy to announce that Wal-Mart has hosted its very first wedding, at the store in York, Nebraska. The lucky shoppers were Crystal Newsome and Robert Vickrey. They decided to exchange their vows in the lawn and garden department, among oodles of potted plants. Why would they pick this as the location of their wedding? “We had our first kiss at Wal-Mart,” explains Crystal. Both Robert and Crystal are Wal-Mart employees: Robert’s worked there for more than a decade and currently manages the grocery department, while Crystal has been the deli manager for five years. The two started dating two years ago. “We both work here, we met here, it all started here, why not?” said Robert.
Rather than send out invitations to their co-workers, Robert and Crystal simply placed an invite by the time clock. And hey, this had to be convenient for any friends and family members who waited until the last minute to buy a gift. During the ceremony, Robert said, “I love everything about Crystal. She is an absolutely wonderful woman. She makes me smile. She’s put the joy of life back in me.” Aww, that is almost cute enough to suppress my snarky comment about how the groom wore black jeans. [Omaha.com] Keep reading »
Thirty-five-year old Connecticut woman Janet Lee, aka “the foremost psychic in New England,” called the police in July to report that she was attacked outside her Greenwich office. So who dunnit? Lee claimed it was a gang of rival psychics. What, is there like a psychic mafia? I wonder what the motive could possibly be: “She sees more dead people than we do … let’s beat her up!” The gang of psychics allegedly left threatening messages on her phone before they came to “get” Lee. Only one thing stood in the way of their capture — Lee didn’t quite seem to know their names. Wait … I thought she was psychic? Is this story sounding a wee bit far-fetched to anyone else? After a thorough investigation, police have deemed it crazytown and are now charging Lee for falsely reporting a crime. Police think she may have been beaten up by someone she knows. Or better yet … maybe it was a ghost? [AOL] Keep reading »
The Wisconsin Tourism Federation has recently made a very big decision. Rather than stick with the acronym “WTF” and continue to be made fun of by sites like Boing Boing and Language Log, they’ve done a little switcheroo. They are now the Tourism Federation of Wisconsin, or “TFW.” Here are some other organizations with laughable acronyms that might want to consider doing the same. Keep reading »
For those fascinated with stripper-on-stripper violence, have we got a story for you. Well, technically, it’s stripper-on-cocktail waitress violence. Anyway, at Cabaret North, a topless club in Fort Worth, Texas, exotic dancer Kathleen Bennett got in an argument with waitress Jennifer McReynolds. As they exchanged words, a manager fired Bennett. A few minutes later, Bennett was caught on tape tasering McReynolds. McReynolds apparently followed her as she fled the club, so Bennett tasered her again. Police are still looking for Bennett. Note to self: the next time I feel the urge to fight a woman with weapon-length nails—just let her win. A taser to the face evidently causes a black eye. [DListed] Keep reading »
In the past week, six banks in New England were robbed. A woman in a hoodie would stroll up to a teller and either pass them a note or tell them that she had a bomb. Sometimes she’d ask for a large amount of money, sometimes just $1000. In none of the robberies did she actually produce a bomb. Yesterday, Connecticut police finally caught up to this robber, 34-year-old Heather Brown. Brown is pretty unique because only 6.2 percent of bank robbers in the U.S. are women. Though that number has swelled from 4.9 percent in 2002. So, is she doing this as a feminist act? Because of Brown’s gender and the small sums of money she generally took, people are pretty fascinated by her. One internet rumor has it that Brown was giving away the money she stole to the poor. If she’s a modern Robin Hood, I think I smell a little bit of a girl crush coming on. Well, maybe not in that hoodie. [CNN] Keep reading »
I was in Las Vegas for Joe Weider’s Olympia Weekend 2009, and male and female bodybuilders competed for the titles of Mr. and Ms. Olympia. While I can’t understand why any woman would want to tone her body to such an extreme level, I’ll be the first to admit that these women’s bodies looked wicked sick (and I mean that in a favorable way), especially since the female body isn’t supposed to be this muscular. I can’t even fathom how many hours they must spend weightlifting, consuming supplements, and exercising to get their bodies into competitive shape. I was really surprised, however, to learn that despite working as hard as the male competitors (or maybe even harder because the female form isn’t meant to be this built), Ms. Olympia is awarded a significantly less amount of prize money than Mr. Olympia. Keep reading »
Last week in an intricately planned heist, thieves stole about $400,000 worth of underwear, tights, garters, stockings, and shoes from a truck making deliveries to the chain store Next. How? They cut open the sides of the parked vehicle. The Leicestershire Police have no leads, and only know that the robbery occurred between 9 p.m. and 4 a.m. Given the sheer quantity of items stolen, they believe that there was probably more than one thief and that a vehicle was used to move the goods. In an effort to gather information, cops have asked people to “keep a lookout for anyone selling the items described” or to contact them “if you know someone who has acquired items similar to those we described … and you are suspicious of how they obtained them.” Basically, the po po has absolutely no idea who stole this stuff and are totally screwed unless someone walks by sporting it all at once. What we want to know is, why are these people wasting their time robbing pantyhose trucks? With those cop-confounding skills, they could be robbing banks. Perhaps they’re gathering pantyhose disguises for the largest bank robbery ever? [Metro] Keep reading »
A California pilot has been arrested for flying his airplane repeatedly over his ex-girlfriend’s house. The 51-year-old guy, who was previously served with a restraining order for his sky-high stalking, angered residents by continuing to fly low over her town multiple times per day. This wacko dude also dropped fliers that said super mean things about his estranged lover and even contained racial slurs. Officials think the pilot has been using his plane to harass his ex for about a year now. We say it’s time for him to get some serious therapy, and his pilot’s license revoked. [CNN] Keep reading »