This weekend, I was taking a cooking class with a friend when I was overcome with annoyance that my lips were chapped and my lip balm was tucked inside my purse all the way across the room. “Grr, I need lipbalm!” I whispered. “No problem!” my friend replied, reaching down the front her shirt and whipping out a tube of Chapstick.
We’re good enough friends that I don’t have any qualms with using Chapstick that was nestled between her bosoms (she later explained that the bra she was wearing is so roomy that she can store stuff inside the cups); but for those ladies who would prefer to store their miscellaneous crap alongside their own titties, there’s this miraculous invention: the Joey Bra! The Joey Bra has build-in pockets for stowing away everything from your credit cards to your iPhone, with no one the wiser. Why didn’t anyone think of this before? Genius! I’ll have to tell my friend to get one — as soon as she gets properly sized, that is. [$19.99, Joey Bra]
All bras are not created equal! Let’s take a look at some other over-the-shoulder boulder holders than dare to be different.
If you’re a fan of any Starbucks products that have a pinkish hue (strawberry frappuccinos, raspberry swirl cakes, birthday cake pops, etc), I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been eating beetles. More specifically, a red food coloring made from crushed up cochineals, a tiny bug found in Latin America. But now, thanks to an anonymous vegan barista who blew the lid off Beetlegate, sparking a Change.org petition and public outcry, Starbucks has announced that it will be taking the creepy coloring off the menu, effective by the end of June. The cochineal extract will be replaced by lycopene, which is derived from tomatoes. As relieved as I am that Starbucks responded to customer concerns, there is a part of me that’s a little sad I will never be able to order a beetle juice frappuccino. It’s the end of an era, you guys. [Lime Life]
Oh AshleyMadison.com, I thought that creating a dating website to promote adultery was the douchiest move any single site could make, but I stand corrected.
Today, you guys have managed to outdo yourselves by offering $1 million dollars to any woman who could prove she had sex with Tim Tebow. Really, guys? I understand that it is daring to point out the hypocrisy of others, but what happened to the good ol’ days when people’s private lives were, well, private? Who appointed you guys the moral police squad, anyways? I am pretty sure your site has perpetrated far worse crimes against morality than this dude’s virginity claim. Not to mention, how the heck would a girl be able to prove she had sex with Tim? Would a jock strap with his initials on it be adequate proof? If so, I’m coming by to collect that cash in a jiffy! Keep reading »
Today in Awkward Diplomatic Kerfluffles: the entire country of Ukraine is pissed at the entire country of The Netherlands for airing a commercial that implies sexy, sexy Ukrainian women are a bunch of husband-stealing sexpots. The ad was made by a Dutch energy company called NLE and references the Euro 2012 soccer games, which will be hosted by the Ukraine. (On a side note, any other Americans find it utterly impossible to keep Europoeans and their various soccer tournaments straight?!) The ad shows a woman Googling the words “Ukrainian women” and coming up with images of super sexy hot Ukrainian ladies. She then immediately goes and purchases an at-home beer tap, presumably so her husband will stay on his couch and not leave her for some random blonde chick in the Ukraine during a soccer match. Ukraine is now pissy that the commercial will affect tourism during the Euro 2012 games. Keep reading »
Do you talk to yourself? Most people do it every once in awhile. Ami does it a lot. Self-talking definitely won’t make you popular on public transportation, but a new study indicates that it will speed up your thought process. Here’s the lowdown: psychologists asked two groups of volunteers to scan a series of photos in search of a specific object. One group was told to repeatedly say the name of the object they were looking for (“banana, banana, banana”), while the other group were told to remain silent. The results? Those zany self-talkers found the items faster, because researchers say when you talk to yourself, “you’re activating visual properties in the brain to help you find them.” So the next time your partner or roommate gets annoyed with your constant muttering, politely remind them that you’re not just talking to yourself, you’re activating visual properties in your brain. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to find my cellphone. “Cellphone, cellphone, cellphone, cellphone…” [Mother Nature Network]
This nude motorbike passenger was pulled over in Romania, but not for riding in her birthday suit. A traffic cop ticketed “the modern day Lady Godiva” for not wearing a helmet. “He gave her a warning and a ticket and told her and her companion to ride on,” said a witness. And that’s exactly what she did. She put on a helmet and hopped right back on that bike, still totally nude. Good for her, for having the confidence to ride without clothing. But I suppose the cop should have considered the dangers a naked woman might cause other drivers. Ogling accidents. [Metro UK]