Oh AshleyMadison.com, I thought that creating a dating website to promote adultery was the douchiest move any single site could make, but I stand corrected.
Today, you guys have managed to outdo yourselves by offering $1 million dollars to any woman who could prove she had sex with Tim Tebow. Really, guys? I understand that it is daring to point out the hypocrisy of others, but what happened to the good ol’ days when people’s private lives were, well, private? Who appointed you guys the moral police squad, anyways? I am pretty sure your site has perpetrated far worse crimes against morality than this dude’s virginity claim. Not to mention, how the heck would a girl be able to prove she had sex with Tim? Would a jock strap with his initials on it be adequate proof? If so, I’m coming by to collect that cash in a jiffy! Keep reading »
Today in Awkward Diplomatic Kerfluffles: the entire country of Ukraine is pissed at the entire country of The Netherlands for airing a commercial that implies sexy, sexy Ukrainian women are a bunch of husband-stealing sexpots. The ad was made by a Dutch energy company called NLE and references the Euro 2012 soccer games, which will be hosted by the Ukraine. (On a side note, any other Americans find it utterly impossible to keep Europoeans and their various soccer tournaments straight?!) The ad shows a woman Googling the words “Ukrainian women” and coming up with images of super sexy hot Ukrainian ladies. She then immediately goes and purchases an at-home beer tap, presumably so her husband will stay on his couch and not leave her for some random blonde chick in the Ukraine during a soccer match. Ukraine is now pissy that the commercial will affect tourism during the Euro 2012 games. Keep reading »
Do you talk to yourself? Most people do it every once in awhile. Ami does it a lot. Self-talking definitely won’t make you popular on public transportation, but a new study indicates that it will speed up your thought process. Here’s the lowdown: psychologists asked two groups of volunteers to scan a series of photos in search of a specific object. One group was told to repeatedly say the name of the object they were looking for (“banana, banana, banana”), while the other group were told to remain silent. The results? Those zany self-talkers found the items faster, because researchers say when you talk to yourself, “you’re activating visual properties in the brain to help you find them.” So the next time your partner or roommate gets annoyed with your constant muttering, politely remind them that you’re not just talking to yourself, you’re activating visual properties in your brain. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to find my cellphone. “Cellphone, cellphone, cellphone, cellphone…” [Mother Nature Network]
This nude motorbike passenger was pulled over in Romania, but not for riding in her birthday suit. A traffic cop ticketed “the modern day Lady Godiva” for not wearing a helmet. “He gave her a warning and a ticket and told her and her companion to ride on,” said a witness. And that’s exactly what she did. She put on a helmet and hopped right back on that bike, still totally nude. Good for her, for having the confidence to ride without clothing. But I suppose the cop should have considered the dangers a naked woman might cause other drivers. Ogling accidents. [Metro UK]
A Swiss newspaper reports a 50-something woman starved to death in January 2012 after forgoing food and water for a “sunlight diet.” But “breathearianism,” as the practice is called, isn’t a diet with the intention of losing weight. Rather, it’s a spiritual fasting that requires the practitioners to skip food and water for weeks. The unnamed woman reportedly saw an Austrian documentary called “In The Beginning There Was Light” about an Indian guru who claimed to have lived off sunlight for 70 years. (You can watch the trailer here, which includes doctors who are both in support and in opposition to the “sunlight diet.”) Unfortunately for this woman, she eventually was discovered dead by her children. Not to be glib, but what made this woman think she could live off vitamin-D alone? And you thought the feeding tube diet was extreme. [London Free Press]
Aussie mother Kylie Steger was not amused by the rude surprise inside her Hungry Jack fast food dinner. She was beyond pissed when she found a poorly drawn penis inside her hamburger box. “It literally made me sick … If they have drawn that in there, what else have they done to my burger?” Steger complained. I wonder if she would have felt differently if the penis rendering was more, well, professional. Hungry Jacks is taking the complaint “very seriously” and has launched an investigation to get to the bottom of the penis incident. I, on the other hand, can’t stop laughing. I would be thrilled if there was a penis in my box. Also, may I just point out that the name of the person who wrote this news item is Stuart Cumming. You’re welcome. [The Chronicle]