Human prostitutes could be a thing of the past by 2050, as more and more robots get pimped into prostitution.
That’s the future envisioned by Michelle Mars and Ian Yeoman at Victoria University of Wellington, who have released a report suggesting that lifelike robots will be coming to a brothel near you.
Mars and Yeoman see lots of advantages to having “hoe-bots” doing the dirty work instead of humans, such as “commercial sex robots would be free of disease and would reduce the trafficking of real people,” they told The Week. Read more…
So, a zoo keeper in China took on the incredibly gross but selfless task of licking a monkey’s butt to save its life. A leaf monkey at the Wuhan Zoo became dangerously constipated after it ingested a peanut that had been thrown in its enclosure. Zhang Bangsheng determined that the peanut was too large to pass through the monkey’s system on its own and therefore had to be extracted manually by licking and sucking it out. After the jump, Jessica and I discuss over IM. Keep reading »
When Henry Wolf hopped on his BMW motorcycle to take a leisurely four-hour ride, he never imagined that the ridged seat would give him an epic erection that was still going strong 20 months later. Now he’s suing BMW for lost wages, medical expenses, and mental and emotional distress. Since suffering from priapism (the medical term for a boner that just won’t quit), Wolf has been “unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish,” his lawyer stated in the lawsuit. No word yet from BMW, but apparently both the motorcycle and medical communities are baffled by Wolf’s condition, since motorcycle seats are much more likely to cause a very different problem: impotence. Either way, be careful out there, bikers: those seats are definitely not working in your favor. [Yahoo News]
This weekend, I was taking a cooking class with a friend when I was overcome with annoyance that my lips were chapped and my lip balm was tucked inside my purse all the way across the room. “Grr, I need lipbalm!” I whispered. “No problem!” my friend replied, reaching down the front her shirt and whipping out a tube of Chapstick.
We’re good enough friends that I don’t have any qualms with using Chapstick that was nestled between her bosoms (she later explained that the bra she was wearing is so roomy that she can store stuff inside the cups); but for those ladies who would prefer to store their miscellaneous crap alongside their own titties, there’s this miraculous invention: the Joey Bra! The Joey Bra has build-in pockets for stowing away everything from your credit cards to your iPhone, with no one the wiser. Why didn’t anyone think of this before? Genius! I’ll have to tell my friend to get one — as soon as she gets properly sized, that is. [$19.99, Joey Bra]
All bras are not created equal! Let’s take a look at some other over-the-shoulder boulder holders than dare to be different.
If you’re a fan of any Starbucks products that have a pinkish hue (strawberry frappuccinos, raspberry swirl cakes, birthday cake pops, etc), I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been eating beetles. More specifically, a red food coloring made from crushed up cochineals, a tiny bug found in Latin America. But now, thanks to an anonymous vegan barista who blew the lid off Beetlegate, sparking a Change.org petition and public outcry, Starbucks has announced that it will be taking the creepy coloring off the menu, effective by the end of June. The cochineal extract will be replaced by lycopene, which is derived from tomatoes. As relieved as I am that Starbucks responded to customer concerns, there is a part of me that’s a little sad I will never be able to order a beetle juice frappuccino. It’s the end of an era, you guys. [Lime Life]
Oh AshleyMadison.com, I thought that creating a dating website to promote adultery was the douchiest move any single site could make, but I stand corrected.
Today, you guys have managed to outdo yourselves by offering $1 million dollars to any woman who could prove she had sex with Tim Tebow. Really, guys? I understand that it is daring to point out the hypocrisy of others, but what happened to the good ol’ days when people’s private lives were, well, private? Who appointed you guys the moral police squad, anyways? I am pretty sure your site has perpetrated far worse crimes against morality than this dude’s virginity claim. Not to mention, how the heck would a girl be able to prove she had sex with Tim? Would a jock strap with his initials on it be adequate proof? If so, I’m coming by to collect that cash in a jiffy! Keep reading »