Tag Archives: weird news

No Celibacy For Married Anglican Priests Who Convert To Catholicism

The Vatican announced last month a plan to make it easier for disillusioned Anglicans, who feel their church has become too liberal, to convert to Catholicism. The plan allows for Anglican priests, including those who are married, to also convert to Catholicism. This stirred speculation that the age-old rule of celibacy for Catholic priests could be rescinded. Not so, says the Vatican. The married priests will join the Personal Ordinariates, the structure set up for ex-Anglicans. They won’t have to be celibate, but unmarried priests who convert to Catholicism and are ordained will have to adhere to the celibacy rule. Only celibate men will be admitted to the Roman Catholic priesthood, but the admission of married Anglican priests will be on a case-by-case basis decided on by the pope. Former Anglican bishops, including married ones, will be able to lead groups of former Anglicans within the Catholic Church, but the bishops will also have to be ordained within the Catholic priesthood. So, it seems the bishops will have to be celibate, even if they’re married, or choose not to be the ministers of their congregations. [Reuters] Keep reading »

The 10 Stupidest 911 Calls In Recent Memory

Over the past few months, it seems like I can barely go a week without hearing a story about a looney tunes 911 call—from the women who called 911 to report that her daughter was better at oral sex to the man who dialed emergency services because a worker at McDonald’s had left the orange juice off his order. People, we get that 911 is strictly for emergencies, right? Right? Here are some of the best 911 calls of the past year. Keep reading »

Shower Me Scary

If you end up back at a guy’s house, take a trip to the toilet, and see he’s got this gas mask shower head designed by Chris Dimino, you may want to run screaming from the premises. [Apartment Therapy] Keep reading »

All Your Snail Poop Dreams Have Come True

If you have been waiting for the right escargot packing made out of colored snail poop to come along, today, my friend, is your lucky day. For reasons that will surely forever remain a mystery, designer Manuel Jouvin decided the ideal container for holding escargot is made from colorized snail droppings. So, he partnered up with a French snail farmer (my dream profession), and set about feeding colored paper to snails. Then, the snails pooped a rainbow of colors. Jouvin turned that, er, substance into escargot packaging. Ah, the French. So creative. In any case, maybe not something you want to try at your next dinner party. [NOTCOT] Keep reading »

Now Your Boobs Can Feel As Hot As They Look

I was sitting around the other day, and I was thinking, you know what I really need? And then I thought, what I really need is USB-powered breast warmers. And then, voilà! There they were. That’s serendipity for you. Japanese manufacturer Thanko has created the USB Bust Beauty Pad for those who suffer from chilly breasts, and it can be yours for a mere $20. Plug the device into the USB port of your computer, stick the pad in your bra, and your breasts will be toasty in no time. Um, do some women’s breasts actually get cold? I’ve never heard of this phenomenon. But to each her own breast-warmer. [The Awl] Keep reading »

Mickey Mouse Got A Makeover. But What About Minnie?

You know how our grandparents grew up yelling “Hello, Mickey” back at the TV during cartoon hour? Well, today’s kids seem to view the helium-voiced mascot as more of a logo, or maybe a hat design, than as a lovable character. I guess that didn’t sit well with the higher-ups at Disney, who want their iconic moneymakers to hold not just our attention but our hearts. So Disney is re-imagining Mickey Mouse. Next fall, in a video game called “Epic Mickey,” Nintendo Wii players will have the opportunity to mold their own CGI version of Mickey, who will travel through the Small World ride gone wrong and face a disemboweled robot Donald Duck, among other dilemmas. Mickey’s appearance will change through his adventures, with the way gamers make Mickey behave. In this universe, Mickey will be a rascally character, a la Bart Simpson, which was his original persona. Sounds great. But, uh, what about Minnie? And Donald? And Goofy? And Daisy? After the jump, we suggest how to bring them into 2009 as well.. [NY Times] Keep reading »

Hypnotize Your Way To Bigger Boobs?

In an always appreciated roundup of information I actually need, the folks over at Asylum put together a list of bizarro breast enlargement techniques that don’t require several thousand dollars and a surgeon. The approach given the most credibility is, surprisingly, tit-no-therapy. I mean hypnotherapy. Because I’m not nine years old. Some people really do seem to take it seriously. The Body Contouring Programme, which sells hypnosis books and CDs for brightening the headlights, cites a list of publications that have given the thumbs up to hypnosis for bigger boobs, including two references by Deepak Chopra. The most recent of Deepak’s articles, though, was written in 1993. In fact the most recent publication referenced on the website was from 1993. Have breast enlargement hypnotherapy techniques sat stagnant that long? Are boob whisperers on the endangered species list? The Body Contouring Programme says its current in-office sessions cost $1500—is it wrong that I’m this curious? [Asylum] Keep reading »

Woman Calls 911 To Report That Her Daughter Is Better At Oral Sex

An Ohio woman must have meant to call her shrink and not the police when she reported a crime of passion in her home. What was the crime? Her daughter had performed oral sex on her husband. (He’s the girl’s stepfather.) I think that’s against the law of basic human appropriateness, but unfortunately there is no legislation for oral sex in the state of Ohio. But oddly enough, the woman wasn’t actually upset about the BJ—she was upset about the quality of the BJ. Apparently, her daughter was better at it. The police did not show up with handcuffs (these loonies would probably think the police were showing up for a kinky orgy), but I’m hoping that they suggested serious therapy for all parties involved. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. [Metro]

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Wedding Night Ruined When Bride Discovers She’s Allergic To Her Husband

Well, this is surely one way to get out of having sex with your husband. After two years of dating, Mike, 27, and Julie Boyde, 26, decided to have unprotected sex for the first time on their wedding night with disastrous results. “Before, we were always very careful and used protection — this time we didn’t,’ said Julie. “We figured, ‘we’re married, if we get pregnant, we get pregnant.’” So they went for it and Julie immediately felt intense pain, “like somebody sticking needles up inside of me like a real painful burning. It was really scary.” Medical tests eventually showed that Julie suffers from something called seminal plasma hypersensitivity, which basically means she’s allergic to Mike’s sperm and her body reacts to it with swelling, itching, and inflammation of the nerve endings. “The pain, and at times blisters, would go on for weeks,” Julie said. “On a scale of one to ten, it’s pretty much ten.” The Boydes have now abandoned their plan to conceive naturally and have started adoption proceedings. Hopefully, for everyone’s benefit, Mike got himself a vasectomy. [via Daily Mail] Keep reading »

Real-Life “Nip/Tuck”: A Plastic Surgeon Sculpts His Perfect FrankenWife

Cany, a 33-year-old waitress in the U.K., thought she had hit the jackpot when she met British plastic surgeon Dr. Reza Vossough. He wasn’t physically attracted to her, but thought she had “potential,” so asked her to be his bride. Now, I’m not talking about mental, emotional, or spiritual potential. No, I’m talking about physical potential. If Vossough couldn’t find the perfect woman, he would create her. In the five years since their wedding, Vossough has performed over eight surgeries on Cany, pumped more than 1,600 grams of silicone into her body, and spent a grand total of $29,736 on the work. And finally, he’s fallen in love with her. Maybe he was drawing his inspiration from that horrifying reality show “The Swan”? The procedures he performed on his FrankenWife—breast augmentation (she went from an A to an F), lip boost, eye lift, forehead reduction (?), tummy tuck, thigh lift, but tuck, liposuction, and Botox. “It’s almost like being God,” said Vossough. “When I first met Cany, she had physical deficiencies, but I could see there was something there. She had big hips and big thighs, so we made corrections, then did a little bit more. I was interested in working on her. It’s better than nature could do.” Anybody else scared? [The Sun] Keep reading »

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