Comedian Mark Malkoff, the same guy who once lived on a plane for 30 days, wanted to find out how many movies he could possibly stand, er, watch on Netflix in one month. The answer: Two hundred and fifty-two (his goal had been 250). In recognition of his achievement, Netflix invited Malkoff to its Los Gatos headquarters, where he met CEO Reed Hastings; the company also named June 11 “Mark Malkoff Day.” Read more …
Once, twice, three times a lady. But four times with a teddy bear?
Charles Marshall of Cincinnati is accused of having sex with a teddy bear for the fourth time in the past two years, according to the Smoking Gun.
Marshall was arrested Wednesday after employees at a health clinic saw him masturbating with a teddy bear in an alley, according to a police report obtained by the Smoking Gun.
Marshall has three previous convictions for either public indecency or disorderly conduct with a teddy bear. This latest time he was hit with a disorderly conduct charge. Read more …
While there’s no shortage of creative ways criminals try to steal loot from stores, shoving prawns up your skirt apparently isn’t the best strategy.
But Krystal Douglas, 26, and her accomplice, 68-year-old Charles Simboyan, clearly thought otherwise before they were caught shoplifting from a Costco on Monday, State Island Live reports.
According to the report, security guards approached the woman in the parking lot after noticing her awkward walk.
But what first tipped them off was the $5,000 worth of missing polo shirts, which they traced to the duo thanks to security footage, according to Staten Island Live.
Their arrest brought an end to a two week shoplifting spree at the Staten Island store, police told the New York Post. Read more …
Dear Devil Impersonator,
They have not revealed your identity, but aren’t you quite the little shit starter. I wonder what gave you the idea to put on a devil costume and try to crash a confirmation service at a church in northern Africa. Granted, you were arrested before you made it into the church and charged with disturbing the peace, but your idea was creative, albeit offensive. I like to give my potential suitors the benefit of the doubt. So, I am choosing to believe that you are just a man in need a more appropriate outlet for your creative rebellion. I have a proposal for you, Devil Boy: Come to our country, dress up as a vagina and rattle those Michigan House Republicans who think speaking the word on the floor is as offensive as entering a church dressed as the devil.
I look forward to hearing back from you.
Everybody’s talking about the “Zombie Apocalypse,” and even those in fine dining are having a laugh with it.
Take Maynard James Keenan for example. To the public eye, he’s the frontman for the rock bands Tool and A Perfect Circle. In his off time, he’s a winery owner — and today he answers the age-old undead question: What wine goes best with human flesh?
He recently offered wine recommendations to would-be zombies who want to wash their down their brains with something besides blood, at the behest of the Miami News Times. Read more …
I just ate sushi for lunch and I had octopus ceviche last night for dinner. I eat so much seafood. I think I am going to pass out right now. Full panic onset. I just read about this case from the Journal of Parasitology where a Korean woman’s mouth was inseminated by a cooked squid. I say cooked meaning it was dead. So back to the story. The 63-year-old experienced pain in her mouth after eating a boiled squid’s internal organs. She had a “pricking and foreign-body sensation” in her mouth. When she went to the hospital, doctors removed a bunch of “small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva.” Translation: Squid sperm.
There are three things I’m going to do and in this order: 1) Brush my teeth for peace of mind, 2) Eliminate calamari from my diet forever,
3) Go watch the video of “Baby Without a Face.” That’s the only thing I can think of that scares me more than the thought of my dinner trying to impregnate my mouth. [i09]
[Writer's note: I believe this came out differently than intended. I was trying to use an example of something that upset me. On second thought it's distasteful. My apologies.]