Once upon a time, I had a Dumb Idea. I decided to make mojitos, my favorite cocktail. They look so tasty and delicious in the bar, but come to find out they are a pain in the ass to make. The rum/mint/sugar/lime juice ratio is a delicate balance. And muddling the mint — “muddling” means abrasively rubbing, to release the flavor — is the worst. My uncle, who is a professional bartender, even gave me special mojito sugars. That didn’t help. My mojitos looked, and tasted, like swamp water.
So I can almost, almost, feel sympathetic now that The New York Post is now claiming bartenders are flat-out refusing to make their customers mojitos. Keep reading »
Best excuse ever for not pulling over for a cop: “I couldn’t pull over because I was topless.” This was a Florida (of course) woman’s reason for speeding away from police when they attempted to pull her over for running a stoplight in her pickup truck. Thirty-five-year-old teaching assistant Mandy Ramsay was indeed driving around half-naked, but she claims she had good reason. She was on her way to surprise her boyfriend (or husband, it’s unclear) to whom the truck belonged. Well, that makes perfect sense. There’s no way you can take your top off once you arrive.
Anyhow, thanks to the magic of Facebook status updates, cops located Ramsay swimming in her backyard. She was arrested for eluding law enforcement. I’m going to go ahead and charge her with Gross Facebook Misconduct as well. Thanks for another great crime story, Florida! Keep ‘em coming. [Huffington Post]
She abandoned her kids to go make more.
Florida cops say Crystal Rusaw, 24, left her three children — aged 4 years, 3 years, and 10 months — at their New Port Richey home for hours on end so she could go have sex with the neighbor and sleep, WTSP reported.
Worse, the kids, one of whom had soiled himself, made their way to a busy four-lane highway and crossed it alone at 5 a.m. on Sunday. The 4-year-old held the 10-month-old as they dodged traffic. Read more …
This adorable pot-bellied donkey is named Patty. Seven years ago, she was rescued from a UK auction in emaciated condition and moved to HorseWorld, an equine rehab center where she slowly but surely regained her health–along with a gregarious personality. One day, Patty watched her handler Vicky Greenslade work on a painting with such rapt attention that Greenslade handed her a paintbrush. Three weeks later, Patty had her own easel and was churning out colorful abstract paintings, stroke-by-stroke. “Patty is a huge show-off, she loves people watching her paint,” says Greenslade. “We can’t ask her to do too many demonstrations in a week though, or she gets bored, throws the paintbrush down and walks off–what a drama queen!” Patty’s paintings are available for sale in a busy gallery in Bristol, where they routinely fetch over $150. The best part? All of the proceeds benefit HorseWorld’s efforts to rescue, rehabilitate, and rehome mistreated horses. Not only does Patty look amazing in a beret, she’s changing the world, one brush stroke at a time. [Daily Mail]
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the most expensive nail polish in the world: Azature’s Black Diamond. The shimmery black formula contains 267 carats of crushed diamonds, and–yep, you read the headline correctly–one bottle will cost you $250,000. The other day I spent $12 on a bottle of nail polish and felt a little guilty and self-indulgent, so I don’t even know how to fully comprehend the fact that this exists, and that (presumably) someone is going to buy it. I mean, can you imagine? Every time you chipped your manicure on your keyboard, you’d be losing, like, a thousand dollars. Stressful. Apparently Azature is deigning to sell a department store version for $25, but I think I’ll just DIY my own by shredding up some dollar bills, mixing them into a bottle of Wet N’ Wild, and then crying myself to sleep. [Styleite]
In case you weren’t aware, after Katie Couric stepped down as anchor of the “CBS Nightly News,” she announced that she would star in a nationally syndicated talk show, and is now realeasing some details about just what that show will include. Part of the package? The now famous phrase “YOLO” (You Only Live Once). Keep reading »