Dear Chad William Forber,
I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. I’ve tried to accept your Crisco fetish. But there is only so much this woman can take. When you get arrested Criscoing in public, that’s when I knew it was over. We had a deal about Criscoing in public! Keep reading »
Sir Ivan is what might happen if David Guest and “Juicy” Joe Giudice had an adult baby. He made this horrific song and spent approximately 99 percent of the music budget on body paint. So it’s basically can’t-look-away terrible. Color us thoroughly mindfucked. [Sir Ivan]
Two years ago, a New Jersey mom filmed an educational video about breastfeeding for Parents magazine’s website and their associated YouTube channel.
Then, to MaryAnn Sahourey’s great horror, some asshole took the video, spliced it with pornography of a woman who looked like Sahourey having sex, and reposted it online. The kicker is that both Sahourey’s name and the the name of her infant daughter were posted along with it. Keep reading »
Tragedy struck Manhattan yesterday when city officials shut down a vibrator giveaway sponsored by Trojan. The condom company planned to give out 10,000 of their new vibes from pushcarts at three tourist-heavy locations: Rockefeller Center, South Street Seaport, and the Flatiron District, which is near The Frisky’s offices. New Yorkers congregated f0r free $40 Trojan Tri-Phoria vibes (two thumbs up, says I!) or a free $30 Trojan Pulse. Yet less than an hour into the event, an unnamed city official pooh-poohed the crowds and told Trojan’s Pleasure Carts to pack up and go home.
Horny area woman Linda Postell was irate about the shutdown, huffing to The New York Post, “I’m 57-years-old. I should be able to get a vibrator! I have a problem with the smoking ban and the soda ban — and now this!” Keep reading »
Once upon a time, I had a Dumb Idea. I decided to make mojitos, my favorite cocktail. They look so tasty and delicious in the bar, but come to find out they are a pain in the ass to make. The rum/mint/sugar/lime juice ratio is a delicate balance. And muddling the mint — “muddling” means abrasively rubbing, to release the flavor — is the worst. My uncle, who is a professional bartender, even gave me special mojito sugars. That didn’t help. My mojitos looked, and tasted, like swamp water.
So I can almost, almost, feel sympathetic now that The New York Post is now claiming bartenders are flat-out refusing to make their customers mojitos. Keep reading »
Best excuse ever for not pulling over for a cop: “I couldn’t pull over because I was topless.” This was a Florida (of course) woman’s reason for speeding away from police when they attempted to pull her over for running a stoplight in her pickup truck. Thirty-five-year-old teaching assistant Mandy Ramsay was indeed driving around half-naked, but she claims she had good reason. She was on her way to surprise her boyfriend (or husband, it’s unclear) to whom the truck belonged. Well, that makes perfect sense. There’s no way you can take your top off once you arrive.
Anyhow, thanks to the magic of Facebook status updates, cops located Ramsay swimming in her backyard. She was arrested for eluding law enforcement. I’m going to go ahead and charge her with Gross Facebook Misconduct as well. Thanks for another great crime story, Florida! Keep ‘em coming. [Huffington Post]