Molest a manatee and you may find yourself behind bars. Gloria Garcia Guiterrez, the woman who was caught riding a manatee in Florida a couple of months back, was taken into custody this weekend. Authorities showed up at Sears, where the 53-year-old works, and booked her. Guiterrez admitted to taking a joy ride on the endangered sea mammal, and now faces up to six months in jail. She is currently out on bail.
I can’t say I blame her. Manatees are irresistible. But alas, the law protects them from being intentionally annoyed, molested, harassed or disturbed. Hey, I want a law protecting me from all that. [LA Times]
There are many reasons why I am not a pilot. I don’t like flying that much. I have poor sight and coordination. And also, I get mind-squeezingly bad migraines. And though that didn’t stop one Lufthansa pilot from taking off, it did prevent him from completing the flight. The Daily Mail reports that on a recent flight from Newark to Frankfurt, Germany, a pilot was stricken by an especially bad migraine, and his co-pilot was forced to ask if there was anybody on the plane who could help fly.
I wish I was kidding.
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After a bad breakup, feelings of love can quickly turn to hatred. You say things you don’t mean and wish for things you don’t actually want. But what happens when a person becomes so livid that bitter hypotheticals become actual actions? Some strange tales prove that all is not fair — or sane, for that matter — in love and war.
Love Explosion: While flying to Dallas, Christopher Shell’s plane was turned around and boarded by a SWAT team–that were coming for him. Shell’s ex-girlfriend had phoned in a bomb threat, saying he possessed liquid explosives. Fortunately, Shell was quickly cleared, but the ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend were brought into custody soon after. Read more…
Seriously, could NASA get any cooler? They’re landing rovers on Mars, mapping out the galaxy, and studying dark energy, all while rocking star-spangled mohawks. The folks over at Gizmodo were curious to see how those zany NASA scientists might use their high tech toys to cook a turkey this Thanksgiving. The resulting recipes, drawn up by illustrator Josh McKible, will definitely come in handy in the event your oven breaks tomorrow and you must make do with nothing more than some aluminum-coated kapton and an R-2000 Rotopod. Click here to see more diagrams and get the full recipes (one of which requires 12,000 turkeys and a Thermal Vac Chamber). And NASA, we don’t say it enough, but we are so, so thankful for you! [Gizmodo]
Dear Guy Who Built This Epic Mobile Office In His Car,
Listen, dude, I get it. Why start work at 9 a.m. and end at 5 p.m. when you can get so much more done during your commute, right? God himself couldn’t build a cubicle large enough to contain your ambitions! So you did what any self-respecting workaholic would do: you built a wooden frame in the passenger seat of your car, where you attached a laptop, a printer, a router, a WLAN antenna, and a power source. This setup allowed you to conduct all your business while speeding down the autobahn at 80 miles per hour, which is exactly what you were doing when you got pulled over earlier this week.
Psh. Cops are such party poopers. What do you say we meet for a working lunch in my Volkswagen Jetta, I’ll keep it under the speed limit, and we’ll see where this goes? [Yahoo News]
The 2012 election made it look like Big Bird was losing his job … but Elmo is the one headed for unemployment. Puppeteer Kevin Clash, who voices the furry red friend of all children, has resigned from “Sesame Street” over an ensuing scandal that he may have had sex with multiple underage boys. In a statement released today, Sesame Workshop said:
Sesame Workshop’s mission is to harness the educational power of media to help all children the world over reach their highest potential. Kevin Clash has helped us achieve that mission for 28 years, and none of us, especially Kevin, want anything to divert our attention from our focus on serving as a leading educational organization. Unfortunately, the controversy surrounding Kevin’s personal life has become a distraction that none of us want, and he has concluded that he can no longer be effective in his job and has resigned from Sesame Street. This is a sad day for Sesame Street. Keep reading »