We here on the Internet aren’t really in a position to judge readers of romance novels. Sure, people stereotype the books as wish-fulfillment fantasies for housewives dreaming of muscle-bound doctor-sheik-Navy-SEAL-Vikings, but at least they’re less weird than the crazy stuff you’ll find online. For the most part, that is. Look a bit deeper into the romance genre and you’ll find all sorts of stories about…
#5. The Amish. Many of us look at the technology-free Amish with longing, thinking of simpler times in the past when we didn’t feel so anxious about all the movies we have to get through in our instant queue. There’s also, however, a subgroup of readers who look at people in straw hats and suspenders and think, Boy, I sure want to have sex with that. The Amish generally don’t believe in lawsuits, but we are sure that they are willing to make an exception here for restraining orders. Read more…
We typically hear stories about the dangers of breast implants. Let’s take a moment to talk about the upside of breast implants: they can save your life.
At least, that’s the case for Canadian woman, Eileen Likness, who is eternally grateful for her decision to get breast implants. This past week, she testified that her fake boobs saved her life. When her ex-boyfriend, Fernando Chora, fired his gun at her point blank back in January of 2006, she claims that the “implants took the brunt of the force.” The bullet entered her right breast, grazed her chest and exited her body through her left breast. Her silicone implants were destroyed, but she lived to testify against her attacker … and eventually get a brand new set of breast implants. Hooray for her implants! [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Breaking news in the world of mythical creatures. The Korean Central News Agency has reported that archaeologists in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea have confirmed the existence of the “lair of a unicorn” ridden by King Tongmyong. KCNA reports:
The lair is located 200 meters from the Yongmyong Temple in Moran Hill in Pyongyang City. A rectangular rock carved with words ‘Unicorn Lair’ stands in front of the lair. The carved words are believed to date back to the period of Koryo Kingdom (918-1392).
Well … if the sign says, then it must be true! Or not. When I was a kid I made a sign that said “Unicorn Lair” and put it outside my bedroom. There were no unicorns inside. Make of my anecdote what you will. [NPR]
I love cannoli, but they’re so rich I can barely finish a normal-sized one without getting a stomach ache. When I saw a picture of the world’s largest cannoli, created for the New England Dessert Showcase last year, I didn’t exactly want to eat it. I did, however, want to climb inside it like a sleeping bag, doze off, and have sweet dreams of chocolate and ricotta. [Boston Foodie]
Finding love in this post-Friendster era isn’t easy. Just ask 68-year-old University of North Carolina physics and astronomy professor Paul Frampton, who was recently sentenced to five years of house arrest for transporting a suitcase full of cocaine out of Buenos Aires, Argentina, and into the United States.
What compelled the Oxford-educated scholar to freelance as a drug mule? Well, Frampton was under the impression that this valise full of toot belonged to his online girlfriend, one Denise Milani, who in reality is a bikini model who may or may not hail from some undiscovered Toontown where Rob Liefeld was elected mayor. Frampton believed that if he smuggled the drugs, he would be able to retire to a small cabin located two ticks north of Ms. Milani’s solar plexus.
But when Frampton traveled to Bolivia to meet Milani earlier this year, he was not greeted by his new girlfriend/the letter “P” made human flesh, but by a strange man and an even stranger suitcase (their respective cup sizes went unreported by mainstream media). Read more…
If you’re looking for a gift for that hairy, manly, meat-eating hunk in your life, might we suggest a tub of bacon-scented shaving cream? Sold by bacon-obsessed company J&D Foods (the same people who brought you bacon-flavored lube), Bacon Shaving Cream is a “high end, luxurious bacon-scented shaving cream for all skin types.” It’s apparently formulated with heat-activated technology that releases an extra burst of bacon fragrance when the user’s skin warms up, which means if you shave with it in the morning and then hit the gym later in the day, your face will suddenly smell like a sweaty, sizzling breakfast griddle. Sexy, right? If you want to get in on the bacon-scented action, you better buy it soon: J&D produced only 2,500 jars, and they’re going fast. True bacon lovers, it seems, aren’t put off by the company’s warning that when using this product, one should “prepare to be loved, admired and possibly be eaten by bears.” [J&D Foods via Oddity Central]