Tag Archives: weird news

Do Not Want: A City Situation

You know what I never, ever want on my vagina? A cityscape. Ditto, a plane on my boobs. [$375, Net-a-Porter] Keep reading »

“Tiger Blood” Energy Drink Is Here, Sadly

Move over, Four Loko — there’s a new drink in town to facilitate poor decisions. Tiger Blood, a limited time $4-a-pop energy drink by the makers of Love Energy Potion and other classy beverages, is here to keep you WINNING. Full of chipped warlock fangs and Adonis DNA, the fruit punch flavored energy drink allows you to “take more drugs than anyone can survive. Be different, have a different brain, and a different heart. When you feel Tiger Blood in your veins, you’ll realize dying’s for fools and that can’t is the cancer of happen. Period. The end.” (Or, um, not.) While Charlie Sheen is not in any way affiliated with Tiger Blood, I’m sure it receives his full stamp of approval. [Oh No They Didn't! via Harcos Labs] Keep reading »

Who Gets 82 Tattoos Of Julia Roberts’ Face On His Body? This Guy!

There are no words to adequately express my feelings about the devotion expressed by Miljenko Parserisas Bukovic, a 56-year-old man in Mexico who has spent around $100,000 getting 82 tattoos of Julia Roberts‘ face. Mr. Bukovic, I salute you. (Though I am guessing you probably go to bed alone every night?) [NYmag.com via Best Week Ever] Keep reading »

We Mourn The Loss Of The Penis Spine

Men, guess what? Your peni were supposed to have a spines like the peens of the bean weevil (left) and the marmoset. From a scientific perspective, said penile spine is meant to “grip the walls of the female’s opening” for more productive fertilization. The penis spine is also thought to clean other male sperm out by abrading the female vagina after she’s been doing it with multiple males. Tsk tsk, slutasauruses. Gosh, the penis spine sounds lovely and very comfortable. Unfortunately, our DNA took an unexpected turn and the gene required to form the penis spine molecularly short circuited. In turn, our men developed bigger brains and our women a penchant for monogamy. A very sweet evolutionary tale. Maybe I’ll write an illustrated children’s book about it. [Live Science] Keep reading »

Decorate With A Woman’s Severed Head!

Straight from the Kanye West book of severed heads in home decorating, here’s a vintage ad for a “stuffed” woman’s head to mount on your wall. (Click here to see the full ad!) It’s only $2.98, boys! The copy below would be funny if it wasn’t so creepy:

“One of the nicest qualities is that they don’t talk back! Accurately modeled to three-quarters life-size of real gals and molded of skin-textured pliable plastic, these heads are so lifelike they almost breathe. Saucy glittering eyes, full sensuous mouth and liquid satin complexion, combined with radiant hair colors, give astonishing realism to these rare and unique trophies.”

Um, EW. [Huffington Post via DangerousMinds.net] Keep reading »

Meet The Black Arrow, A Lady Superhero Who Saves Abused Pets

I love a superheroine as much as the next feminist, especially one who loves the fuzzy am-i-nals as much as I do. Meet “Black Arrow,” an anonymous British woman who fights evil in the form of people who abuse their pets. “I make sure people aren’t abusing their animals,” Black Arrow told The Sun newspaper. “I serve justice to those who deserve it. We stand for those who cannot, because we can.” (Unfortunately, the tabloid-eriffic Sun didn’t get a single detail on just how Black Arrow does this.) For six years, the London lass has stuck up for animals who are abused — presumably without crassly objectifying women in the process. You hear that, PETA? [The Sun UK, Coventry Telegraph UK] Keep reading »

Czech Beauty Queens Spanked After Sexy Handcuff Photos Surface

Czech beauty queens handcufss

Okay, false advertising. No actual Czech beauty queens actually get spanked in this story. But the lovely ladies in the Miss Czech 2011 pageant were sternly warned they could be disqualified after photos appeared of them playing with sex toys, including handcuffs. Kinky Czech beauty queens are just about the only beauty queens I can handle, frankly. The women were reportedly drunkenly celebrating at a birthday party when the sex toys and the cameras came out. Come on, ladies! Amateur move right there. Nevertheless, I think it’s totally dumb that pageants based on looks try to make the contestants adhere to some B.S. “good girls don’t!” ideal. Good girls do, duh. [The Sun UK] Keep reading »

Got Issues? Discuss Them With Your Naked Therapist

Twenty-four year old New York City shrink, Sarah White, felt there was something missing from the classical therapy tradition. And that thing was getting buck naked. According to her, talking about your problems while fully clothed encourages repression instead of open expression. That’s how she became “the naked therapist.” Sarah begins her sessions, which occur via webcam, Skype, or in person, fully clothed and by the end of the hour she is in her birthday suit. (Video is slightly NSFW.) Not surprisingly, she has lots of male clients, who, she claims, find it easier to introspect while watching her strip down to her skivies. Duh. Of course she has her male clients’ full attention while she’s naked. SHE’S NAKED! A guy will say just about anything you want him to while sitting across from an attractive woman in the buff. Keep reading »

Dumb Former President Of MADD Arrested For Drunk Driving

Here’s the rules: If you’re a teenage chastity advocate the one thing you really can’t do is get pregnant. If you’re a member of P.E.T.A. the one thing you really can’t do is kick your dog. And if you were ever the president of Mothers Against Drunk Driving the one thing you really can’t do is get busted behind the wheel with a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit.

One of these people forgot the rules.

Debra Oberlin of Gainesville, FL, a former president of M.A.D.D., was charged with a DUI after being pulled over for allegedly swerving back and forth across the road. Police report she had watery, bloodshot and dilated eyes and regsitered a blood alcohol level of .239. Read more… Keep reading »

Northwestern Professor Defends Sex Toy Demonstration

A professor at Northwestern in Chicago is defending his performing a sex toy demonstration at an optional event for his Human Sexuality class. Professor John Michael Bailey had a guest demonstrate something called a “f**ksaw” on a naked woman before a gathering of 120 students. According to The A.V. Club Chicago, via The Huffington Post, it’s “basically a dildo attached to a reciprocating saw which, when cranked up to full blast, can drive a person to orgasm.” Keep reading »

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