Tom Finlay, a 48-year-old stone mason, experienced a miracle with a pair of 66-pound boobs. That sounds wrong; I’ll explain. The Aussie was standing in a sculpture garden next his five-foot, hand-carved statue of the Venus de Milo when an “almighty kaboom” blew her apart. The only thing that remained were her breasts — mostly intact, except for a slightly damaged nipple.
“There was a clap of thunder and the sculpture blew up like a rocket-launcher had hit it … The lightning looked like a serpent. Everything disintegrated but the breasts,” Finlay reported.
He wasn’t sure if the incident was a “sign” from above, but he was amazed. When asked what he would do with the miracle boobs he said: “I might mount [them] and hang them in my office.” Good idea, dude. Boobs prevail again! [NT News]
As we all learned last year, Chick-fil-A’s secret seasoning blend includes a heaping spoonful of homophobia and a generous slathering of bigotry. In response, the Chick-fil-A Foundation, a comedy group that parodies conservative “family values” organizations, created this fake coupon offering a free chicken sandwich to anyone who renounced their homosexuality. It’s a hilarious piece of satire on its own, with fine print stipulations like, “Offer only applies to persons currently choosing to be gay,” but when the guys from the Chick-fil-A Foundation decided to put their bogus coupon to the test, something really crazy happened: Chick-fil-A redeemed it. After the jump, check out a video of the encounter… Keep reading »
When I got my period for the first time, I cried. Hard. Just a few months before, while waiting to board to the bus to head to camp for a week, I saw a girl from my class bawling her eyes out. “What’s wrong with Becky?” I asked one of my friends.
“She got her period,” my friend replied solemnly. “She has cramps. And she doesn’t want to deal with wearing pads all week.” Keep reading »
We may not be sloth fans of the same caliber of Kristen Bell, who gets worked into a crying fit whenever she’s near a sloth. But we think sloths look damn cute in a onesie, taking a bath, or yawning. If you agree, here are some useless sloth facts to impress your friends in advance of the impending sloth-pacalypse. I made that last part up. There is no sloth-pacalypse. [Geekosystem]
Dear Zachariah Dalton,
Most women will tell you that they want a man who’s close to his parents. A man who loves and respects his mother and father and has a good relationship with them. It seems, Zachariah, that you are one of those guys. The other day, when you attempted to rob a Thumbs Up convenience store in Niceville, Florida, you realized that you had no getaway vehicle. And the reason you had no getaway vehicle? It seems you have two prior arrests for driving under the influence.
Perhaps you intended to buy one with your new windfall — only the clerk at Thumbs Up didn’t actually have any money in his cash drawer, so you were left without. I suppose it’s okay, though, because according to the police, you hadn’t really planned to rob the store, you’d only come up with the idea while walking there.
So, no harm, no foul. Keep reading »
An Icelandic man thought it would be a great idea to consume an entire bottle of alcohol and begin harassing both workers and patrons on a flight from Iceland to New York’s JFK airport.
A 46-year-old man was taped and gag during a six hour flight from Iceland to the U.S after consuming an entire bottle of duty free alcohol, New York Daily News reports.
The unidentified man was reportedly spitting on others, grabbing women and harassing airline workers before air passengers intervened and subdued the man with duct tape. User Mezane posted the story on Reddit along with a photograph detailing the experience. Read more…