God bless British programming for keeping us informed of all the things we need to fear in life. BBC Four’s “The Brain: A Secret History – Broken Brains” features a woman who suffers from a rare disorder known as Alien Hand Syndrome.
After receiving a special operation to control her epilepsy in which the band of nervous fibers connecting the two hemispheres of the brain is cut, Karen Byrne found that her left hand and sometimes her left leg, behaved on it’s own, as if it were possessed. The very brief explanation is that Alien Hand Syndrome is caused by a war going on in her head between the two hemispheres of her brain. Sometimes, Byrne can’t stop slapping herself in the face, to the point of injury, with her possessed hand. Sometimes, her hand does other naughty things. Keep reading »
Middle school is rough on all of us. It’s especially rough when the administration at your middle school blames you for the sexual harassment you’re getting because of the size of your boobs. And it’s downright hellish when said administration suggests to your mother that a breast reduction might help. Keep reading »
This is Dell. Dell was working a job delivering packages when one of his clients stopped him and asked if he’d ever considered being a model. Dell did a few test shots, and soon became one of the most in-demand models at the entire agency. There’s just one catch: the agency is called “Ugly Models.” Owner Marc French, who recruits “unusual-looking” people for appearances in TV, film, and advertisements, explains the appeal of his top model: ”Dell is not a conventional good-looking boy, you know, he’s got buck teeth, sticking out ears, he’s not what people say is normal-looking, because he’s quite ugly, really. But ugly in a great way and I love his features. I mean, I think he’s quite striking.” Keep reading »
Dear Amazing Outsourcer,
Most of us are guilty of loafing off on the job a couple times a day. But you, Anonymous Job Outsourcer, decided to game the system by not doing your job all together. Instead, you outsourced your tech job to a man in China, who duly toiled away while you spent the day on Reddit, checking Facebook and watching various and sundry cat videos.
You would have gotten away with it, too, had your company not noticed that someone in China was logging into the system with your VPN. Verizon was brought in to explore the mess, and after an extensive investigation, revealed that you had outsourced your entire job to China. And the best part, according to the Verizon enquiry: You “spent less than one-fifth” of your six-figure salary for the Chinese firm to do your job for you. Keep reading »
Today in “stories that easily could have been about me,” a Belgian woman set out to pick up a friend at a train station 90 miles from her home, and, after typing the address into her GPS device, proceeded to follow the turn-by-turn directions 900 miles in the wrong direction. Sabine Moreau, 67, drove for two full days, sleeping on the side of the road, filling her gas tank twice, and even getting in a minor car accident, but apparently none of this made her question the validity of her route. In fact, Moreau didn’t notice anything was amiss until she got to Croatia. “I was distracted, so I kept driving,” she told El Mundo. “I saw all kinds of traffic signs, first in French, then German and finally in Croatian, but I kept driving because I was distracted. Suddenly I appeared in Zagreb and I realized I wasn’t in Belgium anymore.”
Sabine, I feel you, girl. [Yahoo News]
Helloooo, Florida! You’re back. And with important life lessons for us. What can we learn from 53-year-old teacher, Mary Maloney? That if you’re arrested for a hit-and-run, it’s a very bad idea to offer the police officer oral sex in return for your release. Yeah, that’s only going to make matters worse, along with that empty gallon jug of wine behind the driver’s seat. It’s not looking good for Mary Maloney. There is a time and place to offer a blowjob. This certainly was not it. [Huffington Post]
Click through for more tales of oral sex gone terribly, terribly, terribly wrong.