Don’t these people have pockets?
Police in Florida say they have recovered a marijuana pipe and a woman’s identity from the body cavities of suspects arrested in separate incidents earlier this month.
Deputies from the Lee County Sheriff’s Office busted 46-year-old Ann Hernandez for making over $5,000 of purchases using a fraudulent credit card and another woman’s driver’s license — both of which were found in the suspect’s vagina. Read more… Keep reading »
People will do anything to get their hands on tickets to the taping of Oprah‘s final episode. But one Canadian dude, Robert Spearing, went above and beyond. He and his wife traveled from Ontario to Chicago to see the show. Robert told her he had tickets—only he didn’t. He had to think quick in how to justify this situation—so he beat himself up, using a rock to bust his forehead and scraping his hands across the pavement so it looked like he was in a scuffle. He then called the police and said he’d been robbed of two Oprah tickets. Spearing has now been charged with disorderly conduct and filing a false police report. And while what he did wasn’t cool, I’m secretly hoping the Big O decided to cut him a break and invite him to the finale. He gets an “A” for effort. [Newser] Keep reading »
Today in tastelessness: the Navy SEAL raid on Osama bin Laden‘s Pakistan compound will be sexily immortalized forever in “This Ain’t Bin Laden XXX,” a new parody porn debuting this summer by Hustler. An Osama bin Laden porn is something the al-Qaeda top dog would have appreciated, said Hustler’s Video Director of Operations Rob Smith. “We’re pretty sure from what we’ve heard that bin Laden was a big fan of Hustler,” Smith said. (Now that’s a celebrity endorsement!) “He was looking at porn, now porn is looking at him. See, it all comes full circle.” You almost had me at the promise of Navy SEALs, but really, I can’t get into a porn about someone who murdered over 3,000 people in my country. Also, that beard. I would like to read the casting notice for the Osama bin Laden parody porn, though. [The Daily What] Keep reading »
Henry Allen Fitzsimmons has some explaining to do. The 54-year-old restaurant owner reportedly paid college tuition and a $200 allowance per week to three young women who agreed to his “Spencer Scholarship Plan,” which required following a set of rules like telephoning him and not drinking alcohol. The crux of the plan? Fitzsimmons administered spankings to these women if they broke the rules. Keep reading »
Beware of pressing the “like” button on this story, as we may have created a monster. Lior and Vardit Adler, a couple in Israel, just had a baby girl and decided to name her … “Like.” Yes, as in the Facebook‘s universal sign of approval, or as in a Valley Girl’s most frequently uttered word. “I wanted something unique,” explains Lior. “At first I was looking at Chinese names, and considered the name ‘Qing Yu Lang.’ But in the end, my wife responded to ‘Like.’ I have very few friends on Facebook—only about 120. So far only 50 of them like ‘Like.’”
This isn’t the first time a social networking site has inspired a name. Keep reading »
Don’t go to Florida if you plan to get laid, because doin’ it is officially illegal there. In an attempt to outlaw bestiality, Florida lawmakers accidentally banned all sex acts. The new law bans “knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal.” As we know from the great Nine Inch Nails song, “Closer,” wanting to f#@k like an animal doesn’t mean you’re into animal husbandry. And if you ever took a science class, you also know that humans are technically animals. We know what they meant, but the wording is unfortunate. Oh silly Florida, what are we going to do with you? [Newser] Keep reading »
Ain’t no T-H-A-N-G. Did you know that latest edition of Scrabble includes 3,000 new words? Sure does, G-R-R-L! The new Scrabble approved words are a mixture of technological terms, colloquialisms, proper nouns, and slang phrases that have gained popularity since the 2007 version of the game. Naturally, some of these slang terms have hardcore players feeling uncomfortable while others find the new list progressive. So tell everyone you know on F-A-C-E-B-O-O-K about this very important news you read on our W-E-B-Z-I-N-E. Get your word ready. Scrabble is about to get B-L-I-N-G-Y, I-N-N-I-T? [The Scotsman] Keep reading »
When Karen Butler meets new people, they often ask her where she’s from. And the answer — Newport, Oregon — usually surprises them. Why? Butler speaks with what sounds like an Irish accent. But she didn’t acquire it from spending time across the Atlantic. She picked it up at the dentist’s office.
Speaking about her medical oddity on a “Today Show” segment, Butler explained that she went in for a surgical procedure about a year and a half ago. The funny voice she was speaking with immediately after seemed to just be par for the course, right along with the swelling and soreness. But as time went on and she healed from the surgery, her body returned to normal and the voice didn’t go away. Read more… Keep reading »
It took Rose Pallard a long time to commit to her boyfriend, Forrest Lunsway. Thirty years, in fact. The two had been together that long when 90-year-old Rose finally agreed to marry Forrest—on his 100th birthday. The two tied the knot in Southern California on March 19 in a joint wedding and centenial birthday party. And while they might be the oldest newlyweds in the world, man, do they still have some moves. After all, Forrest did get down on one knee and ask for Rose’s hand in marriage without any issues. Rose’s advice for making romance last? “Be forgiving and patient and say ‘I love you’ every once in a while,” she explained. I also think these two are poster children for lookalike couples—they have almost identical faces. [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »
When Dallas high school senior, Ben Ross, was in a serious motorcycle accident, he revealed his one wish to his mom from his hospital bed. Ben wanted to go to prom in the Oscar Mayer Wienernobile. He may have been kidding, but mothers tend to take those things kind of seriously when their children survive a near-fatal accident. But that’s not important. What is important is that while he was recovering, his mother launched an online campaign to convince Oscar Mayer to play chauffeur for Ben and his crew on prom night. Sure enough, this past Saturday evening, a hot dog on wheels showed up to whisk Ben, his girlfriend Molly, and a few of their closest friends off to prom in style. A true prom miracle. I wish I had considered such a genius idea for my own prom. [The Daily What] Keep reading »