Next time Susan Pollock needs to cool off, she should head to a nude beach instead of the city park.
The 44-year-old woman was charged with indecent exposure after police in Mesa, Ariz., claim they found her sleeping naked on a park bench near an empty bottle of vodka, the East Valley Tribune reported.
A father and his three children spotted Pollock taking her siesta around 5:30 p.m. She smelled of alcohol and was wearing nothing but a T-shirt rolled up above her breasts, the Arizona Republic reported. Read more… Keep reading »
Normally, I get sad when I hear about pets dying. But something about the news that Leona Helmsley’s beloved Maltese, Trouble, had kicked the doggy bucket made me happy. Maybe now they’ll be reunited in the afterlife?
Trouble, is of course, the dog that real estate magnate Leona Helmsley left a boatload of money to when she passed away in 2007. To be exact, Leona willed $12 million to Trouble, though a judge later reduced the amount to $2 million. Keep reading »
It’s harder than you think to come up with a thoroughly original name these days. Lady Gaga may (or may not) be surprised that she is not the first to bear her moniker. According to an awesome article over at Slate.com, there were actually three Lady Gagas before Stefani Germanotta came along. In the sixth century B.C. a Babylonian woman bearing the name Gaga had a cuneiform tablet sent to her father. In 1817, an Irish woman became Madame de Gaga when she married a frenchman, the Chevalier de Gaga. And in 1929, Punch Magazine created a fictional character named Lady Gaga. In a satire meant to poke fun at flapperdom, Lady Gaga was a socialite party girl who attended themed soirees like the Second Childhood Party, the Wild West Party, and the Circus Party. Sound familiar? Keep reading »
To all the elementary and middle school teachers out there — not to mention the future tutor to the Martin-Paltrow kids! — I have an idea. Don’t take your students to Hooters during a field trip. Apparently, when students from Berwick Middle School in Pennsylvania headed to Baltimore to visit the National Aquarium, their chaperones decided to split the group up for lunch since 100 students couldn’t fit in one restaurant. Thus, a group of 20 eighth grade students ended up lunching at Hooters—which, yes, has great wings and sometimes bills itself as a family restaurant, but also gives kids an education in T&A. Apparently, no parents have complained yet, but this still feels a bit off to me. What do you think? [Newser] Keep reading »
There is no reason for you to watch this video other than to make you laugh and possibly make you stupider. But if you’re OK with that bargain, then by all means check out this video from the Greek version of “Britain’s Got Talent” of two men who can play a grand piano with their penises. Bravissimo! [YouTube via Glamour] Keep reading »
Once and for all, the Brazilian artist Walmor Correa answers the age-old question, how do mermaids poop? He does not adequately explain, however, how she becomes pregnant. [Walmor Correa via The Hairpin]
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Don’t these people have pockets?
Police in Florida say they have recovered a marijuana pipe and a woman’s identity from the body cavities of suspects arrested in separate incidents earlier this month.
Deputies from the Lee County Sheriff’s Office busted 46-year-old Ann Hernandez for making over $5,000 of purchases using a fraudulent credit card and another woman’s driver’s license — both of which were found in the suspect’s vagina. Read more… Keep reading »
People will do anything to get their hands on tickets to the taping of Oprah‘s final episode. But one Canadian dude, Robert Spearing, went above and beyond. He and his wife traveled from Ontario to Chicago to see the show. Robert told her he had tickets—only he didn’t. He had to think quick in how to justify this situation—so he beat himself up, using a rock to bust his forehead and scraping his hands across the pavement so it looked like he was in a scuffle. He then called the police and said he’d been robbed of two Oprah tickets. Spearing has now been charged with disorderly conduct and filing a false police report. And while what he did wasn’t cool, I’m secretly hoping the Big O decided to cut him a break and invite him to the finale. He gets an “A” for effort. [Newser] Keep reading »
Today in tastelessness: the Navy SEAL raid on Osama bin Laden‘s Pakistan compound will be sexily immortalized forever in “This Ain’t Bin Laden XXX,” a new parody porn debuting this summer by Hustler. An Osama bin Laden porn is something the al-Qaeda top dog would have appreciated, said Hustler’s Video Director of Operations Rob Smith. “We’re pretty sure from what we’ve heard that bin Laden was a big fan of Hustler,” Smith said. (Now that’s a celebrity endorsement!) “He was looking at porn, now porn is looking at him. See, it all comes full circle.” You almost had me at the promise of Navy SEALs, but really, I can’t get into a porn about someone who murdered over 3,000 people in my country. Also, that beard. I would like to read the casting notice for the Osama bin Laden parody porn, though. [The Daily What] Keep reading »