The London zoo pulled out all the stops to get their Galapagos tortoises, a species under threat of extinction, in the mood to mate. They hoped that hiring French pianist, Richard Clayderman, to play his album “Romantique” would sexually arouse the creatures. No such luck.
Through “Ballade pour Adeline” and “Chariots of Fire” the tortoises “didn’t appear particularly impressed,” according to the Associated Press. They did appear to get slightly excited, however, when the zookeeper brought them carrots. Clayderman tried not to take the tough crowd too personally, acknowledging the possibility that tortoises are not big fans of “new romantic” music. Maybe they’d prefer something a bit more edgy to get it on to? Some New Order? Or maybe they’re just hitting a sexual slump. It happens. Galapagos tortoises live for over 150 years. That’s a long time to be with one mate. Here’s hoping they’ll be able to get something going on Valentine’s Day. [Yahoo]
Rebecca Gallanagh, who earned herself an ankle bracelet after being arrested for fighting outside of a nightclub, says she didn’t realize she was doing anything wrong when she decided to use nail glue to bedazzle the bracelet with diamantes.
“The lady who fitted the item said she saw a girl from ‘My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’ who had blinged her tag, and she said I could do that … I saw pictures of it online and checked the leaflet, and nowhere did it say I couldn’t decorate it,” Gallanagh claimed. Keep reading »
Australia’s National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) is going to extreme measures to prevent the spread of germs amongst children. The council has set forth some stringent, new guidelines for birthday cake etiquette at daycare centers: “Children love to blow out their candles while their friends are singing ‘Happy birthday … To prevent the spread of germs when the child blows out the candles, parents should either provide a separate cupcake, with a candle if they wish, for the birthday child and enough cupcakes for all the other children,” states the NHMRC document. Keep reading »
Hey, I’m the first person to admit my complete and total addiction to coffee. A day without coffee is like … a day without prolonged periods of wakefulness, in my case. Meaning: I depend on the stuff to function. Or at least I thought I did, until I heard Mike and Trina’s story. Because this St. Petersburg, Florida couple really does depend on coffee to function, to a shocking degree. No joke.
I know what you’re thinking: How much coffee can these people possibly drink? But that’s just it — neither Mike nor Trina actually drinks coffee at all. They believe that drinking coffee is “bad for their health.” So they give themselves (brace yourself) coffee enemas. At least 100 coffee enemas per month. Each. Read more…
Ahhh, student loans. Or as I like to think of them, that giant hole where I pour hundreds and hundreds of dollars every month. I hope you can buy some fancy couches for the student center, NYU! Imported South African sea salt for the cafeteria? Gold-plated BIC pens for every librarian in the library? Whatever you do with
my your money, I’m sure it’s money well spent. And yes, it will keep coming, probably until I die. The sad truth is that I speak on the phone with the loan servicing lady more than some of my relatives.
Three colleges are not content to just have their loan serving office keep broke grads on speed dial — now, they’re lawyering up. Keep reading »
Dear Brett Eric Drachenburg aka “The Sun,”
If were sitting in the same room right now, I would be giving you a slow clap. From a safe distance, of course. At least 93 million miles. When you were caught stealing a towel from a Florida home, you told the cops that you were simply trying to disguise yourself as “‘The Sun’ with intent to obstruct the due execution of the law.” Initially, authorities were confused by your explanation and thought you might be referring to The Sun Sentinel newspaper, but when the deputy asked you for your name, you replied, “The Sun.”
The Sun, l know why you stole that towel. You were trying to hide your fire from the world. Trying to protect the world from your heat. Don’t do it, The Sun. Never let anyone dull your shine, baby. Take that towel off your face and let the world have it.