Imagine this: your wallet gets stolen one night while you’re out with friends, and the thief uses your identity to write hundreds of dollars worth of bad checks. You report the crime to the police but they can’t track down a suspect. A couple weeks later, you’re waiting tables at your restaurant job when a girl comes in and orders a margarita. You ask for her ID, and… she hands you your stolen driver’s license. This is exactly what happened to Brianna Priddy, a waitress at an Applebee’s in Colorado, and she handled the situation way better than most of us would have: “I didn’t say anything,” Priddy told a local news station. “I handed [the ID] back to her and said, ‘Sure I’ll be right back with your margarita,’ went straight to the phone, called the cops.” Police arrived in minutes and arrested the woman for theft, identity theft, criminal impersonation, and possession of narcotics. Keep reading »
Peeps be so weird. World’s creepiest Realtor, Stephen Brumme, was caught on video rummaging through his clients’ drawers and stealing their clothes. The Arlington couple who own the home installed a camera after another bizarro real estate agent dropped a razor blade in their garbage disposal. (WHUT? These poor people have awful Realtor luck.)
They hoped that the camera would protect them from further real estate weirdness and allow them to be able to see the reactions of potential buyers during open houses. When the couple got home and found some of the woman’s clothes missing, they checked the footage and discovered Brumme was the clothing thief. Who knows what kind of wild things he was planning to do with those white t-shirts!
The 60-year-old was arrested on burglary charges. And yes, his real estate license was revoked. If we’ve learned anything from this couple plagued by psycho realtors, it’s that if you’re trying to sell your home, you might want to consider installing a camera. [Hypervocal]
This is J. Viewz. This is a video of him making music with vegetables. Like, really, with vegetables. I can’t really pretend like I get the technology, other than to say, I think he’s using some kind of kinetic pad in order to connect the veggies to his sampler. Either way, this vegetable-rific version of “Teardrop” is soothing to the soul (and belly). [Vimeo]
A mother in Southern California is on a one-woman mission to get her daughter a job. Linda Smith took to holding up a sign at a busy intersection in Menifee on Friday, offering $500 to anyone who takes her daughter’s resume and gets her employed, reports the Press-Enterprise.
“I’m offering $500 cash the minute she gets hired for $15 an hour or more as an executive assistant or an office job.” Daughter Lisa, 36, has been looking since June and reluctantly embraced the strategy. “After so much trying and trying and trying, I started acquiescing.” Read more …
“We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and–perhaps most importantly–that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.”
––This is the actual text of a petition to the Obama Administration to change the national anthem to R. Kelly’s 2003 hit “Ignition (Remix).” Only 95,000 more signatures are needed to guarantee an official response from the White House. Let’s do this. [Whitehouse via Buzzfeed]
It did NOT happen in Florida. It happened in Arkansas. Twenty-eight-year-old Jamie Craft drunkenly crashed her 2001 Pontiac Grand Am into a mobile home and tried to flee the scene of the crime in the nearest getaway car: her son’s Power Wheels truck. She was shoeless, pantsless, “pretty irate” and “very intoxicated” (her blood alcohol level was about three times the legal limit) when police caught up to her. Obviously, she didn’t get very far. Craft is facing a whole mess of charges from driving under the influence to disorderly conduct. Lesson learned. Don’t drink and drive Power Wheels. Or real cars. [Gawker]