“Surprise! I shaved your head while you slept!” are not exactly the words a woman longs to hear after a fight with her boyfriend. After being kicked out by his girlfriend following a fight, 26-year-old Florida man, David Bustos, broke into her apartment and decided to give her a buzz cut with his electric hair clippers while she slept. She woke from her slumber when he accidentally cut her scalp with the clippers. She fought Bustos off until he hightailed it out of there. He was later apprehended and charged with domestic battery. Authorities found sections of braided hair on her bed. Let’s hope for the sake of womankind that this was Bustos’ last haircut. [Gawker] Keep reading »
Ever get pissed off at an uncooperative ATM? We do all the time. Ever start smashing it with your high heel? Uh, neither have we.
But a very angry British woman did, reports the Telegraph, and it’s all caught on tape.
The “as yet unexplained attack” (the Telegraph‘s words, not ours) occurred last night in the rather proper-sounding British town of Chippenham at around midnight. When the woman’s attempts to get cash from the machine failed, she took off her heel and start hitting the ATM about 50 times. Read more… Keep reading »
Important life lesson: if you’ve got two sacks of silicone dangling from your chest, do not put yourself near things flying through the air at 190 mph. Sadly, that is a lesson that one 26-year-old woman in the UK had to learn firsthand. This young filly was shot in the breast while playing paintball and saw a doctor a few days later when the pain had not subsided. It turns out her breast implant had ruptured from the force of the paintball, which is allegedly the first-recorded injury of this kind. UKPaintball in South London, the scene of the crime, is keen for this incident to be the last. “We want to ensure nothing like this happens ever again,” a spokesman told The Sun UK. “We’re now providing additional padding around the chest region to any surgically enhanced female participants. They just need to contact their local venue, tell them they have fake breasts, let them know their bra size and then the centre will take care of the rest.” I cannot tell if that last part is tongue-in-cheek. Do they really think women want to be known around the paintball field as The Chick With Fake Boobs Who Needs Extra Padding? [The Sun UK] Keep reading »
Make an 11-year-old honorary mayor for a day and what do you think she’s gonna do? The town of Forney, Texas—which is near Dallas—ran a contest to get kids more interested in their local government. Caroline Gonzalez won the title of “mayor for a day,” and first on her political agenda was to honor her dream boy, Justin Bieber. Caroline represented for tweens everywhere by naming a street after him. How much would you pay to live on “Justin Beiber Way”? Well, no matter, because you won’t get to. The temporary sign, said to have cost the town roughly $20, was only displayed on Caroline’s big day and was likely removed promptly at midnight. She’s a thinker, though. What better way to get the biggest teen heartthrob to come to your tiny little town than to give him his own street? Unfortunately for Caroline and the rest of Forney, that didn’t happen. City Manager Brian Brooks said attempts to reach Justin’s “people” were unsuccessful. Don’t give up just yet, Caroline! Make it out of puberty and into adulthood, become the real mayor, and invite JB again! I’m sure he’ll be doing mall tours by then and will have more free time. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Oh, the things we’ll do for love.
A Ringgold, Ga., Taco Bell employee came on a bit too strongly when he allegedly handcuffed himself to a co-worker who’d rejected his romantic advances for weeks, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.
For more than a month, Dalton resident Jason Dean’s overtures were met with repeated rejection from his would-be sweetheart, identified only as Rebecca. The Chattanooga Times Free Press reported that Rebecca, 18, even scheduled her work hours to deliberately avoid overlapping shifts. Read more… Keep reading »
Don’t you worry your pretty little head about Miss Lindsay Lohan. Earlier today, numerous headlines appeared across the internet of the “Did Lindsay Lohan Buy Drugs In Broad Daylight?” variety. These stories were on account of the video above, which shows LiLo hanging with her friend outside a bar in Venice, California. Two guys approach the pair and hand them a plastic baggie. Lindsay and her friend inspect it. Eventually, as Lindsay lights a cigarette, she awkwardly hands the guy some money. This whole incident was caught on tape by a (very annoying) paparazzi photographer.
Only, Lindsay’s publicist says the baggies didn’t contain drugs. Nope, the mystery objects in the bags were crystals. Keep reading »
When a cockroach wants to shake a tail feather, what music does it prefer? Apparently, Lady Gaga. This summer, four teenagers in an engineering program at New York’s Cooper Union were studying the movement of roaches by hooking them up to electrodes and then exposing them to electric pulses. But soon the roaches got used to the pulses and stopped moving about. Desperate to find a way to get the roaches moving, the guys decided to try playing music for them. They tried Weezer, but got no response from the bugs. Ditto for heavy metal rockers Avenged Sevenfold. But when they started playing Lady Gaga—well, the roaches responded immediately, and never stopped their flapping. And the gross little buggers presumably have no idea that the woman once wore their dream dress, crafted entirely of meat. So what happened here? “The bass in Gaga’s song ‘Bad Romance’ prevented habituation since it’s not consistent,” explained one of the experimenters. I hope Lady Gaga is happy to hear that she has even littler monster fans than she ever anticipated. [NY Daily News] Keep reading »
Which would you rather give up—sex or your cellphone? A recent study by TeleNav found that a surprising number of people—a third of all those that they surveyed—would choose to forego the former rather than the latter. And the percentage shot up when they looked at women’s answers. Gulp, a whopping 70 percent of ladies said that they’d gladly give up sex for a week rather than go a week without their phone. The survey found that people would be willing to give up some other big items too if it meant getting to keep their phones on their person. For example, 70 percent said they would completely ditch alcohol, 55 percent said they would bid caffeine adieu, and 54 percent said they would give up exercise.
This has me wondering: are we too dependent on our phones? Keep reading »
Colorado man, Kenneth Dejoie, got more than a roast beef sandwich when he visited his local Arby’s two years ago. Dejoie claims that he was “utilizing the urinal in the men’s restroom when it caused a jet of steam to shoot forth from the urinal and burn his genitals.” When he reported the incident to one of the employees he responded with “This happens when the sink in the kitchen is running.” That answer didn’t satisfy the man with the scalded sausage, so he decided to sue the fast food chain. He is seeking damages for financial losses, for not being able to have sex with his wife and for their all-around crappy food. I just added that last part. Something about the color of their roast beef has never seemed right to me. Now I understand why: They cook it in the urinal. We hope Dejoie and his penis get the compensation they deserve. Keep on clicking to hear about more really insane penis accidents. [CBS Denver]