A mother in Southern California is on a one-woman mission to get her daughter a job. Linda Smith took to holding up a sign at a busy intersection in Menifee on Friday, offering $500 to anyone who takes her daughter’s resume and gets her employed, reports the Press-Enterprise.
“I’m offering $500 cash the minute she gets hired for $15 an hour or more as an executive assistant or an office job.” Daughter Lisa, 36, has been looking since June and reluctantly embraced the strategy. “After so much trying and trying and trying, I started acquiescing.” Read more …
“We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and–perhaps most importantly–that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.”
––This is the actual text of a petition to the Obama Administration to change the national anthem to R. Kelly’s 2003 hit “Ignition (Remix).” Only 95,000 more signatures are needed to guarantee an official response from the White House. Let’s do this. [Whitehouse via Buzzfeed]
It did NOT happen in Florida. It happened in Arkansas. Twenty-eight-year-old Jamie Craft drunkenly crashed her 2001 Pontiac Grand Am into a mobile home and tried to flee the scene of the crime in the nearest getaway car: her son’s Power Wheels truck. She was shoeless, pantsless, “pretty irate” and “very intoxicated” (her blood alcohol level was about three times the legal limit) when police caught up to her. Obviously, she didn’t get very far. Craft is facing a whole mess of charges from driving under the influence to disorderly conduct. Lesson learned. Don’t drink and drive Power Wheels. Or real cars. [Gawker]
David Beltier and his boyfriend Jeremy have three poodles, Muffin, Beauty, and Princess, each with brightly colored fur dyed with Kool-Aid. Last week David and Jeremy were walking their pink poodle, Beauty, down the street of their Portland suburb when a SUV pulled up alongside them and the male driver started yelling anti-gay slurs. The man’s ire seemed to be sparked by the color of the couple’s poodle, which he called “Un-American” (yes, seriously).
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I don’t have much context for this photo of a bunch of Michael Jackson matryoshka dolls. A friend of mine posted a photo of them on his Facebook the other day — apparently they were a souvenir brought back from a trip to Russia. All I can say is, I would like them very, very, much.
Some guys have a hero complex. Others, have a superhero complex. Take the mysterious tights-clad man who walked into the Yorkshire Police Department last week to deliver a bad guy to officers by the scruff of his neck. Wearing a full Batman costume, the man identified himself only as Bruce Wayne.
Telling the cops, “I’ve got this one for you,” the faux-Batman escorted his catch to the quaintly-named police helpdesk at Trafalgar House. According to a police report, the man was then arrested for burglary, fraud and breach of a court order. He was detained at the station overnight and then sent to a nearby precinct where he was booked on additional charges.
As for Batman, well, nobody knows what’s become of him. Said the report, “The Batman outfit was a normal fancy dress costume and whoever had decided to put it on knew the suspect was wanted by police.” My bet’s on him holing up at Wayne Manor. [Telegraph]