Ahhh, student loans. Or as I like to think of them, that giant hole where I pour hundreds and hundreds of dollars every month. I hope you can buy some fancy couches for the student center, NYU! Imported South African sea salt for the cafeteria? Gold-plated BIC pens for every librarian in the library? Whatever you do with
my your money, I’m sure it’s money well spent. And yes, it will keep coming, probably until I die. The sad truth is that I speak on the phone with the loan servicing lady more than some of my relatives.
Three colleges are not content to just have their loan serving office keep broke grads on speed dial — now, they’re lawyering up. Keep reading »
Dear Brett Eric Drachenburg aka “The Sun,”
If were sitting in the same room right now, I would be giving you a slow clap. From a safe distance, of course. At least 93 million miles. When you were caught stealing a towel from a Florida home, you told the cops that you were simply trying to disguise yourself as “‘The Sun’ with intent to obstruct the due execution of the law.” Initially, authorities were confused by your explanation and thought you might be referring to The Sun Sentinel newspaper, but when the deputy asked you for your name, you replied, “The Sun.”
The Sun, l know why you stole that towel. You were trying to hide your fire from the world. Trying to protect the world from your heat. Don’t do it, The Sun. Never let anyone dull your shine, baby. Take that towel off your face and let the world have it.
Authorities are looking for the boy who fathered the baby of a nine-year-old girl, only identified as Dafne. The girl gave birth to a health baby girl in Guadalajara, Mexico on January 27. Shortly after the birth, Dafne’s family alerted the authorities.” The girl was just over eight when she got pregnant. The father is a boy who is 17, but we have not found him, since he ran away. We are looking for the young man to get his story because she does not understand what has happened. This is a rape or child sex abuse case,” said Jorge Villasenor of the state prosecutors’ office. Dafne told authorities that the father of the baby was her boyfriend. Both mother and baby were released from the hospital last weekend.
Nope. Still can’t wrap my mind around a 9-year-old giving birth. Very disturbing. I hope they locate the father of the baby soon. [ABC News, News.com.au]
Last week, I called Carly McKinney, the Colorado high school teacher who was fired for tweeting pot smoking endorsements and half-naked pictures of herself, “the world’s most idiotic teacher.” I stand by this proclamation. What she did was straight up shitbrained. But to be fair, there are soooo many other teachers out there — too many for me to write about– who make Carly McKinney look like a damn saint. Click through for a small smattering of female teachers whose actions were far more despicable than Carly’s. Prepare to be appalled.
Dick pics on Twitter or love children, might force resignation for some politicians, but for others, a scandalous sexual history is just a way to make a name for yourself before entering the political arena. Remember porn star Mary Carey’s run for Governor of California in the 2003 recall election? Oh, and her 2006 bid for Lieutenant Governor?
Before you roll your eyes and think, Only in California, let me introduce Diana Pang of China. The 40-year-old former softcore porn star, who is known by her stage name “Peng Dan” in Hong Kong, is the latest to follow the path from porn to politics. Keep reading »
Al Roker, prepare for your sharting incident to be forgotten. I wish I spoke Finnish right now so that I could understand this story in it’s entirety because it is bonkers. From what I can ascertain from the wonky Google translation, two female journalist purposefully pooped in their pants on a bus traveling from Helsinki to Turku and wrote about the experience.
May Day Vappu Kaarenoja and Aurora Rämö of Ylioppilaslehti, Finland’s largest student newspaper, planned the act of public defecation for the newspaper’s 100th anniversary issue. They detailed the the pooping process, riding the bus with poop in their pants, how their pants felt and smelled and I can only imagine what else.
As you might have guessed, both the bus company and the newspaper’s distributor were not excited about this piece of journalism. The bus company’s CEO is calling it a “tasteless trick and really tasteless writing.” “This is extra work for us. And this is certainly [bad] for bus passenger comfort, the idea that someone has shit his pants on the bench,” said the CEO. They company is considering taking further action against the girls. They would like an apology and money for cleaning expenses. [Kotimaa]