The world’s largest sperm bank is turning away redheaded wankers, because no one wants their sperm. The director of Cryos International said the supply of redheads, who can make up to $500 for their DNA donation, far exceeds the demand. Instead, it is sperm donors with brown hair and brown eyes who are in the biggest demand, as Cryos’ largest customer base in Italy, Greece, and Spain. Indian donors are also in high demand because India doesn’t allow the exportation of sperm. The only demand for ginger-jizz comes from the wonderland of Ireland, where it sells “like hot cakes” — and, of course, me, who seeks a donation of Prince Harry‘s redheaded sperm specifically.
[International Business Times]
[Telegraph UK] Keep reading »
Lie detector tests get a bad rep, perhaps because they’re unwieldy, not that accurate, and the province of “Jerry Springer” and “Maury Povich”-type talk shows. But British researchers have been working on a new type of polygraph lie detector, one that could be used more consistently for security and law enforcement purposes. It’s a video camera that uses thermal imaging and algorithms to determine if a person is lying. The camera looks for unconscious ticks like dilated pupils, biting of lips, heavy breathing, wrinkling of noses, and shifty eye movements. It can even sense super subtle things like the swelling of blood vessels. Meaning there’s no need to hook anyone up to it. Keep reading »
It takes a newborn baby 18 years to grow into adulthood. And it took Chris “The Dutchess” Walton just as long to grow her record-setting fingernails to 19 feet, 9 inches long.
“The hardest thing for me to do is dig in my pockets,” the 45-year-old rock singer from Las Vegas says. “Everything else I can do myself — driving, shopping, cleaning the house … although when I vacuum, the cord gets tangled in my fingers.”
A day before the release of the 2012 Guinness World Records, The Dutchess visited The Huffington Post to talk about her life and celebrate her inclusion in this year’s edition — a celebration of “unique beauty,” including fresh pictures of the world’s longest tongue, the largest afro, and a “holy man” with 453 piercings.
“I never set out to make it into Guinness,” she says. “It just happened.” Read more… Keep reading »
It’s a scary world out there! Hot coffee can be spilled. Butt sweat simmers on the bus seat. Sometimes there is old, lint-covered gum on the wall of a Gap changing room. And on top of those horrors of daily life, the American suburbs are teeming with gays.
Stacy Trasancos of Massachusetts, where gay marriage is legal, knows this terror all too well. This poor, victimized individual recently wrote on her blog that she won’t be leaving her house — where she is a stay-at-home mother of seven! — because she is afraid of gay people. Keep reading »
What’s this you’re looking at? Hold on, I’ll tell you, just need to stop simultaneously laughing and barfing … Okay, I’m good. So, this is a felt representation of Bella Swan’s womb, complete with a tiny mutant fetus, made by a fan of the “Twilight” series. Creepy and crafty! [Film Drunk] Keep reading »
A baby pig in northern China is hogging all the attention in his litter — mainly because he has two snouts.
The two-snouted pig was born in Deshengtang, Jilin province, northern China, and was named “Xiaobao,” which translates roughly into “Babe,” the name of the famous movie character, according to the West Australian.
But while the duo-nosed porker is getting lots of public attention, his owner, farmer Li Zhenjun, says Babe hasn’t been able to pig out very much. Read more and check out more photos… Keep reading »
I’ve dealt with an annoying neighbor or two in my day. Know how I handled it? I quietly resented them from inside my apartment until their atrocious habits became so unbearable, I was eventually forced to move out of my sun-drenched abode. The healthy way. So, I’m kind of in awe of the guy who was so fed up with his neighbor, he advertised an orgy at his house on Craigslist. Genius! Terrible!
Forty-four-year-old Philip Conran couldn’t take his neighbor’s antics anymore. So he advertised, for all the Internet to see, a massive sex party at said neighbor’s house. And people showed up! One dude apparently even went to the wrong home, groped a teenage girl, and was arrested. Not cool.
But now Conran’s paying for it. He’s been sentenced to three years of probation and 200 hours of community service. And he also has been ordered to pay for the neighbor’s house alarm system. Is anyone else dying to know what this neighbor did? Read more… Keep reading »
If you’re big whores like we are, you’re intimately familiar with the panoply of birth control options out there. The Pill. The patch. The Depo Provera shot. And of course, good old condoms. So we are delighted to hear there is a new option for those of us who are not responsible enough to feed and care for a goldfish, much less a baby: the birth control ninja. This tiny ninja hangs out inside your ladyparts and kicks the ass of any sperm that tries to sully one of your precious eggs. Quick, get yours now before the religious right gets them banned! [YouTube] Keep reading »
Michael Lohan ain’t got nothing on Kimberly Garrity in the bad parenting department. The many grave and terrifying abuses inflicted upon her children include a sending a birthday card without money inside, failing to send care packages to her son at college, and calling her daughter at midnight on Homecoming to tell her to come home. She even forced one of her kids to wear a seat belt.
Clearly you can understand why her two children, Steven, 23, and Kathryn, 20, sued Garrity for $50,000 citing “bad mothering.” Keep reading »
What’s better than having sex on your office desk? Doing it on the hood of your squad car, in uniform, if you happen to be a state trooper. Apparently, a guy was caught doing just this in broad daylight by a security camera a few weeks ago. And the dude is even still wearing his belt and gun! So far, no officers have been charged in this case—and, uh, what exactly would the charge be?—but it sure looks like the guy’s face is visible, so it’s only a matter of time. [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »