In my nightmares, this is what the future of mankind looks like. Like, 347 years from now, the aliens are going to come and turn us all into cyborgs and force us to act out our archaic sexual practices in museums. (This is actually a window display at a Russian department store. I have no idea what it’s selling.) [Copyranter]
A moment of silence, please. Heidi the cross-eyed possum has passed unto the great beyond. Heidi’s adorably demented crossed eyes were reportedly caused by being overweight. However, zookeepers at the Leipzig Zoo in Germany put the little critter to sleep on Wednesday because she was suffering from arthritis at the ripe old (possum) age of three-and-a-half. May there be many garbage cans filled with rotting food for you in the afterlife, Heidi! [Spiegel.de] Keep reading »
As part of an ongoing blog experiment, Curtis challenged himself to eat or drink nothing but his wife Katie’s excess breast milk for as many days as possible and write about his findings. And why is their fridge (pictured above) stocked with a lifetime supply of baby nectar, you ask? Well, Katie likes to pump, save, and donate to milk banks after she births a child. There have been three to be precise. Wait, there are milk banks? Anyhow, her donation was rejected. And now, because she is too personally attached to the milk to throw it away, Curtis has a lot to drink. His experiment must not have gone so well because his blog, Don’t Have A Cow, Man, has already been removed. Too bad. I was really looking forward to reading it. [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »
When it comes to sex, non-human animals are way more experimental than us. The desire to sexually engage with both men and women is hardly something we can take credit for. There is documented evidence bisexual behavior in many, many of our animal friends. In honor of Celebrate Bisexuality Day, click through to see a few of the most well-known bisexuals in the Animal Kingdom.
Lawyers in the New York Attorney General’s office are used to cracking down on bad boys. But in Alisha Smith’s case, bad boys may have been paying her top dollar for a public spanking from “Alisha Spark,” her dominatrix alter ego. There are also allegedly photographs of “Alisha Spark” on the internet posing in skintight, latex fetish gear. According to an investigation by The New York Post, the 36-year-old Manhattan lawyer performs at BDSM events for pay — which has caused the AG’s office to suspend her from her job. A source told the Post her employers are concerned she may have been paid for doing this sex work — not just because it could be potentially embarrassing to her employers but because workers are supposed to get approval for any outside work for which they would earn over $1K. Even, uh, kinky work. Keep reading »
The world’s largest sperm bank is turning away redheaded wankers, because no one wants their sperm. The director of Cryos International said the supply of redheads, who can make up to $500 for their DNA donation, far exceeds the demand. Instead, it is sperm donors with brown hair and brown eyes who are in the biggest demand, as Cryos’ largest customer base in Italy, Greece, and Spain. Indian donors are also in high demand because India doesn’t allow the exportation of sperm. The only demand for ginger-jizz comes from the wonderland of Ireland, where it sells “like hot cakes” — and, of course, me, who seeks a donation of Prince Harry‘s redheaded sperm specifically.
[International Business Times]
[Telegraph UK] Keep reading »
Lie detector tests get a bad rep, perhaps because they’re unwieldy, not that accurate, and the province of “Jerry Springer” and “Maury Povich”-type talk shows. But British researchers have been working on a new type of polygraph lie detector, one that could be used more consistently for security and law enforcement purposes. It’s a video camera that uses thermal imaging and algorithms to determine if a person is lying. The camera looks for unconscious ticks like dilated pupils, biting of lips, heavy breathing, wrinkling of noses, and shifty eye movements. It can even sense super subtle things like the swelling of blood vessels. Meaning there’s no need to hook anyone up to it. Keep reading »
It takes a newborn baby 18 years to grow into adulthood. And it took Chris “The Dutchess” Walton just as long to grow her record-setting fingernails to 19 feet, 9 inches long.
“The hardest thing for me to do is dig in my pockets,” the 45-year-old rock singer from Las Vegas says. “Everything else I can do myself — driving, shopping, cleaning the house … although when I vacuum, the cord gets tangled in my fingers.”
A day before the release of the 2012 Guinness World Records, The Dutchess visited The Huffington Post to talk about her life and celebrate her inclusion in this year’s edition — a celebration of “unique beauty,” including fresh pictures of the world’s longest tongue, the largest afro, and a “holy man” with 453 piercings.
“I never set out to make it into Guinness,” she says. “It just happened.” Read more… Keep reading »
It’s a scary world out there! Hot coffee can be spilled. Butt sweat simmers on the bus seat. Sometimes there is old, lint-covered gum on the wall of a Gap changing room. And on top of those horrors of daily life, the American suburbs are teeming with gays.
Stacy Trasancos of Massachusetts, where gay marriage is legal, knows this terror all too well. This poor, victimized individual recently wrote on her blog that she won’t be leaving her house — where she is a stay-at-home mother of seven! — because she is afraid of gay people. Keep reading »
What’s this you’re looking at? Hold on, I’ll tell you, just need to stop simultaneously laughing and barfing … Okay, I’m good. So, this is a felt representation of Bella Swan’s womb, complete with a tiny mutant fetus, made by a fan of the “Twilight” series. Creepy and crafty! [Film Drunk] Keep reading »