Tag Archives: weird news

I Need An 0.8 Inch Micro Crochet Mohair Panda

Baby Panda Checkup
baby panda
Watch Xiao Liwu the baby panda get her checkup. Read More »
Science Explains Cute
Xiao Liwu panda
We like cute animals because they remind us of human babies. Read More »
Panda Belly Rub
baby panda SD zoo
Watch this baby panda get a bully rub at the San Diego Zoo. Read More »

My big sister Allison egregiously aids and abets my panda obsession. She is the one responsible for almost all my panda crap, most of which sits on the bookshelf above my desk at work: panda mug, panda PEZ dispenser, panda eraser, twin panda Christmas ornaments, a panda figurine, and a panda T-shirt. Now, I have a new panda knickknack I covet: a micro crochet mohair panda. You read that right! This made-to-order panda cutie measures in at 0.8 inches, making him smaller than the pad of your finger. What the shit do I need a micro crochet mohair panda for? Especially one retailing for a cool $78? Who the fuck cares! Allison, my birthday is coming up. [Etsy]

Ohio Man May Have Been The Victim Of Spontaneous Human Combustion

Bigfoot Spotted In VT!
bigfoot
You mean ol' Sasquatch may be real? Read More »
Ghost Sex
ghost sex
Family says ghosts get freaky in their home. Watch »

Spontaneous human combustion (SHC), for those of you who don’t spend time obsessing over it as I do, is when a live or recently deceased human body catches on fire without any external ignition. As in, someone is sitting watching TV one minute, and the next they’ve gone up in flames. There a many theories as to how and why SHC occurs, none of them scientifically conclusive. One hypothesis is that SHC is related to unnaturally high blood alcohol levels. More paranormal explanations include an increased susceptibility to gamma rays or an atmospheric electrical phenomenon known as ball lightening. Many scientists don’t believe that the SHC truly exists. They claim that the fire always ignites outside the body.This is known as the “wick effect.” Needless to say, SHC is very, very rare. Wikipedia sites that there have been 200 cases reported in the last 300 years. Keep reading »

Boise Man Wins A Free Boob Job, Can’t Figure Out What To Do With It

Crazy Ploys For Implants
Stupidest Things Women Have Done To Get Breast Implants
The 7 stupidest things women have done for breast implants. Read More »
Near-Death By Boobs
motorboat
Woman almost motorboated a man to death with her big tits. Read More »

It’s always uncomfortable to receive a gift you don’t want. You remember your childhood birthday parties. Just smile and say thanks for the Barbie you already have! Boise man, Andy Thompson, found himself in an extremely awkward position when he won a $3,000 voucher for breast augmentation surgery. For Mardi Gras, a local bar was giving the boob job away as a Fat Tuesday door prize, and Thompson was the lucky winner. When asked what he plans to do with his new pair of boobs, the 37-year-old joked “I was thinking about going with a C cup, but I think a small A is good for me.” But seriously, Thompson doesn’t know “what the plan is” for his unwanted prize since there are “so many good options.”  Keep reading »

We’re Breaking Up: Guy Who Set A Pack Of Peanuts On Fire And Dry Humped An Ambulance

Breaking Up: Snowman Sex
He tried to have sex with a snowman and got frostbite of the penis. Read More »
Breaking Up: Crisco
He took meth and lathered up his naked body with Crisco. Read More »
Breaking Up: Chinchilla
You do not exhume a dead chinchilla! Read More »

Dear Calum Ward,

I’m writing to tell you that I’ve finally decided that I’d rather be alone than eat the shit sandwich you’re serving me. I have to save what’s left of my pride. Your most recent incident at the bus station humiliated me so much that I don’t think I have a choice but to dump your crazy, substance abusing, peanut punching ass.

While drunk and high on weed and speed  (you told me you were off the speed, liar!) you punched a pack of peanuts and then set them on fire. Seriously, Calum? WTF!? We’ve talked about you not carrying any matches when you’re on one of your benders. And if that weren’t embarrassing enough, after that, you threw yourself, spread eagle on an ambulance and started dry humping it. The police officer who arrested you said that “It look[ed] as though [you were] attempting to make love to the front of the ambulance.” Calum, I can’t. I refuse to be made a fool of any longer! (Not like we were having sex anyway with that whiskey dick of yours.) Keep reading »

Two Minutes Of Goats Yelling Like Humans

Goat Poop In Your Hair
It's the best hair conditioner, you guys. Read More »
Pig Rescues Drowning Goat!
It's an adorable barnyard rescue. Read More »
Rachel Holding A Goat
For your enjoyment. Read More »
WTF?!
goats yelling
Baahhhhhhhhhhh!

You didn’t know you needed to watch this, did you? But you do. You need to watch two minutes of goats yelling like humans. Just like humans. It’s unnerving. It’s annoying. It’s not at all adorable, but still completely fascinating.

Why Are People Shocked That A Pretty, Blonde, 16-Year-Old Girl Is A Genius?

lauren marbe

There’s a plot for a romantic comedy in here somewhere: a 16-year-old British girl named Lauren Marbe has scored 161 on a MENSA test, ranking her intelligence higher than Stephen Hawking, Bill Gates and Albert Einstein. But people are shocked – shocked! – at Lauren Marbe’s genius intelligence because she’s a blonde girl from Essex (which is apparently the Seaside Heights of Britain) who loves fake tanning, getting manis, and reality TV. Keep reading »

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