I don’t know your name, but I commend you for your effort to be the best airplane seat mate ever. Sure, you took it a bit too far. But the intention was there and that’s what counts. As many of us have experienced, getting trapped on a long flight next to a person who is farting/snoring/talking non-stop is unbearable. More than unbearable, it’s a goddamn nightmare.
When you found yourself sitting next to a hot woman on a five-hour flight through China, you made it your mission to remain seated the entire time so as not to disturb her. And when I say disturb her, I mean that you didn’t want to offend her with your pot belly. In order to do this, you declined to drink any of the complimentary beverages so you wouldn’t have to get up to use the men’s room. You remained seated with your seatbelt securely fastening around your safely hidden paunch for the entire flight, barely moving at all. I’m sure the woman was thrilled to have you as a seat mate. Truly. Keep reading »
Dogs. Sigh. They can be so dumb. Sometimes they eat their own poop. Sometimes they eat cat food. And sometimes they eat things even dumber than poop or cat food, such as 111 pennies. You read that right. One-hundred and eleven. Jack, a 13-year-old Jack Russell terrier in New York City (pictured), scarfed all these Abraham Lincolns and then started to barf. His owner, Tim Kelleher, rushed his dog to the vet, who discovered with an X-ray that Jack’s stomach was a poochy piggy bank. Via an endoscopy surgery, the vet removed all the pennies five at a time. He’s like the dog version of that man who died after winning a cockroach eating contest! Luckily Jack is okay and was not poisoned by all the zinc in those coins, as zinc is toxic for dogs. And I suppose his master is lucky Jack did not have a taste for dollar bills. [NJ.com; CBS Local]
Rachel Braaten of Washington was arrested after this video of her giving her 22-month-old son a bong hit surfaced.”I guess it was a joke and a stupid mistake that wasn’t really funny,” the 24-year-old told authorities.
I would strongly, strongly agree with that statement. Never has a joke failed so heinously.Braaten is facing charges for delivering a controlled substance to a minor. Her fiancee Tyler Lee, the child’s father, who was not involved in the incident, facing charges of his own. Lee was arrested for selling marijuna and unlawful possession of a firearm.The 22-month-old and the couple’s 5-year-old child are in custody of the state.
This incident is a grim reminder that there are so many people out there who should not be allowed to reproduce.
Sadly, this is not the first baby bong smoking incident. Back in 2010, Rachel Stieringer was arrested for posting pics of her baby smoking a bong on Facebook. [Huffington Post]
When I was a kid, my mom sometimes threatened to sell me to the gypsies. I didn’t know who or what a gypsy was, but I knew that I didn’t want to be sold to anyone, and it usually got me to behave better. Not so, Misty VanHorn’s children, whose mother actually tried to sell them. VanHorn, of Sallisaw, Oklahoma, allegedly wanted for $1,000 for her two-year-old and $4,000 for her four-year-old, and wanted to use the money to get her boyfriend out of jail.
And here’s the kicker…
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What’s worse than working a temp job? Having your penis sliced off while working a temp job. Edgardo Toucet of Florida is suing the staffing company that sent him to work at Future Foam where a peeler machine accidentally took off his penis AND balls. Want more details? I’m sure you do. Keep reading »
Kendra Velzen, a 28-year-old student at Grand Valley State University in Michigan, suffers from depression and uses a pacemaker. Her pet guinea pig, Blanca, helps her cope with the stress of day-to-day life. Or, as Velzen’s lawyer put it: “The presence of an emotional support animal provides Ms. Velzen with continued emotional support and attachment (thereby reducing symptoms of depression), physiological benefits (such as decreased heart rate), and psychological benefits (such as increased Oxytocin levels, which directly impact the sense of life satisfaction).” For these reasons, the university agreed to make an exception to their “no pets” rule and allowed Velzen to keep Blanca in her dorm room. This could have been the end of a touching story about the enduring bond between a woman and her guinea pig, but unfortunately, things got complicated…. Keep reading »