“Ugh, if I see one more magazine with Kim Kardashian on the cover, I’m going to puke!” I’m sure more than a few people have found themselves muttering those very words, but when Mike Amess says it, he means it — literally. The most ridiculous story of the day award goes to The Daily Mail, which has outdone itself with their profile of Amess and his vomit-inducing fear of the entire Kardashian family. According to the Daily Mail, Amess breaks out into a “cold sweat” whenever he sees a Kardashian — although his fear seems especially focused on Kim — and “the sight of a semi-naked Kim even makes him vomit with disgust.” REALLY?
The 24-year-old from Exeter explains, “Just hearing the sound of the Kardashians’ nasal voices or catching a glimpse of them on screen makes me feel nauseous and shaky. My hands get clammy, my breathing gets heavier and I start sweating. Sometimes, I get teary and want to retch.” Keep reading »
I know as well as anyone that nothing stands between a woman and her wine, and in the case of Florida’s Desiree J. Taylor, that includes pants. The 35-year-old woman was caught on a surveillance camera meandering around a Publix supermarket in Ocala in just a T-shirt and a pair of slippers, listening to music on her tablet, and then waltzing out of the store with a stolen case of boxed wine under her arm. She was arrested yesterday morning on charges of disorderly conduct, resisting a merchant and petty theft, police said. I’m guessing they decided not to charge her with indecent exposure on account of the fact that she at least paired her pantlessness with a T-shirt that came down to the tops of her thighs. Let this be a lesson, criminals — if you’re going to go pantless, make sure you’re at least wearing a top that could pass for a mini dress. [Crime Feed]
Shockingly enough, pantless crimes are really quite common. It seems like every other week I read a story about the police picking up a perp who forgot to put his or her pants on before committing some nefarious deed. Way to be discreet! Here are just eight mostly recent examples of criminals who drew even more attention to their illegal activity by breaking the law pantless…
Well, this is one way to approach online customer service. Earlier today, a US Airways customer tweeted a complaint about a flight delay to the company’s official Twitter account. US Airways sent back a fairly standard response (90% of airline Twitter feeds are canned apologies tweeted at irate customers), but when the customer wasn’t satisfied, whoever
is was running US Airway’s Twitter account got a little more…umm…creative. “We welcome your feedback,” they replied, and directed the customer to a link where they could file a formal complaint. Except the link didn’t lead to a customer feedback website, it led to a picture of a naked woman with a large model plane stuck in her vagina. For serious. The craziest part? US Airways left the tweet and image up for a FULL HOUR before removing it and posting this apology.
See the full image after the jump, but beware: it is VERY NSFW and will make your vagina sore just looking at it… Keep reading »
If you’re contemplating sex with a rodeo clown in Massachusetts, watch out: The long arm of the law may be coming for you. Mustachioed men, it’s probably best if you just avoid Indiana altogether. And ladies, you don’t have to put up with your lover’s bad breath anymore — in Minnesota, you are legally protected from the smell of garlic and onions.
Think these laws are weird? We’re just getting started. These bizarre rules of attraction give a whole new meaning to the term “penal code.” Read more of Huffington Post…
Yoga is an ancient Indian practice that originated thousands of years ago to involve your mind, body, spirit soul and … horse?
That’s right, we said, horse. Watch this horse and trainer practice together on Huffington Post…
Portland advertising mavens Jason Kreher and Matt Moore wanted to explore the dark subjects that make people laugh, and more specifically, “take something innocent and make it profane.” What better way to do that than replacing the usual corny one-liners printed on popsicle sticks with some seriously dark jokes? Their finished product is called SchadenFreezers, melting popsicle joke GIFs described as “strawberry, blueberry and lemon-flavored joy derived from the suffering of others.” After the jump, check out a few more SchadenFreezers. The ones that I could post without crying, anyway… Keep reading »
All the nightlife, hold the hangover.
That’s the pitch behind a growing number of alcohol-free bars springing up in the U.K. Skyy News reports that the increasing popularity of the establishments, often funded by anti-alcoholism charities, could signal a change in attitude amongst English youth. Read more on Huffington Post…
The country music world was rocked last week when news broke that Willie Nelson’s famous armadillo mascot had been stolen. The iconic stuffed animal (I had to read the story, like, six times to figure out it wasn’t a real, live armadillo and must admit I was a bit disappointed), which always accompanies Nelson on stage, was nabbed during a fan meet and greet after a Las Vegas concert. Nelson realized the armadillo was missing after his tour bus had already hit the road back to California. His crew called the venue in a panic, requesting the surveillance tapes to help track down the thief, but apparently the mounting guilt had already proved too much for the armadillo snatcher. The next morning, “an apologetic man” drove up to the resort and dropped off a shoe box with instructions to return it to Willie. Inside was the beloved armadillo. Willie’s kidnapped “pet” might have been stuffed, but other famous folks have had their living, breathing pets stolen out from under them. Click through to read the wild, wacky tales of six other celeb petnappings!
Did you ever read the Ramona Quimby books? One of my favorite stories is when Ramona literally cannot fight the desire to squeeze an entire brand new tube of toothpaste, emptying it in long, satisfying stream into the sink. I wanted — nay, WANT — to do that so bad. The only thing I want to do more is to turn on a soft serve ice cream machine and let it just GO. Just watch that perfectly tubular icy treat just poo out of the machine everywhere. I don’t know why, but it’s a desire that burns deep inside. And like Ramona Quimby before her, this random woman at a McDonald’s lived my dream for me. But first she had a fit for some unexplained reason, stripped down to her thong and destroyed the establishment. Oh, and then she served herself a cup of that ice cream. I’m not sure what her damage is, and I’m sure she’s headed to the clink, but I’d say she’s earned that soft serve. [Dlisted]