Tea: It’s good for you, but only if you don’t drink too much of it. And by “too much of it,” we mean a pitcher made with 100 to 150 tea bags. That’s how much a Detroit woman drank each day, and doctors eventually realized that her years of back, arm, leg, and hip pains were caused by the tea habit, according to the New England Journal of Medicine. Read more…
Twenty-one-year old Eric Michael Miller of Bellingham, WA has been sentenced to 18 months in prison for burglarizing a home and shooting one of its habitant with a semen-filled squirt gun.
Natch, this sperm shooting was all for drug money. There are always drugs involved. According to court records, Miller and two unidentified men broke into the home looking for a man who owed him money, but found the man’s roommate instead, asleep on the couch. The unlucky bastard.
Miller and his sidekicks held the man at knifepoint, beat him with a real gun, at which point Miller whipped out his semen gun and squirted the man in the face, saying, “Now you’re like the rest of my bleep, covered in semen.”
Okay, I must stop writing now because I’m feeling sicksies. [GeekOSystem]
Freedom High School in Bethlehem, PA says Axe Body Spray is responsible for sending one of its students to the hospital. According to a statement on the school’s website, exposure to the fragrance triggered a severe allergic causing a student to be rushed to the hospital by an ambulance. In light of this incident, the school has decided to ban the use of Axe Body Spray on on campus.
It was only a matter of time. Because who are we kidding? Axe Body Spray smells like shit. It’s hazardous to the nose. Now, if only the rest of the world could take a cue from Freedom High School and ban the use of Axe Body Spray everywhere, I think we’d all be happier. [Fox News]
How do you solve a problem like Austin Whaley? The 18-year-old Covington, Kentucky, resident had taken to running into crowded bingo halls and shouting “BINGO!” to the dismay of local bingo aficionados.
Local police picked Whaley up last month after he and a gaggle of friends wandered into a bingo hall and began effusively shouting bingo. “This caused the hall to quit operating since they thought someone had won,” explained arresting officer Police Sgt. Richard Webster. “This delayed the game by several minutes and caused alarm to patrons.”
But it gets even worse! Keep reading »
A female stylist is suing the gay, male owner of a UK beauty salon for being a “sexist bully.” Natasha Bramhall claims Funky Divas owner, Andrew Rogers told her that he only wanted to hire fat, gay hairdressers because they wouldn’t get pregnant and have to go on maternity leave.
Bramhall says that while she was pregnant, Rogers forced her to handle unsafe products (stuff like bleach, I’m assuming) and that it made her “anxious and stressed.” When she returned to work after giving birth to her son, Rogers allegedly demoted Bramhall, forcing her to quit. Keep reading »
For most of us, a few (or 10) cups of coffee a day is what it takes to turn us into functioning members of society. But what if your basic coffee isn’t cutting it anymore? Pour yourself a cup of Death Wish Coffee, which claims to be the world’s strongest coffee, with 200 percent more caffeine than average roasts. Produced in upstate New York, Death Wish uses a special type of coffee bean and a unique roasting process to maintain its ridiculously high caffeine content. “This is Extreme Coffee, not for the weak,” the Death Wish website explains. “Consider yourself warned.” My hands are shaking just writing about this, but if you’re jonesing for your own Death Wish, you can order some online for $19.99 a pound. Godspeed. [Oddity Central]
Dear Tyree Carter,
You’ve really done it this time. When you started spending a lot of time at the library, I was excited. I thought you were showing me you cared by putting in effort to job hunt and become more literate. I thought that all of our discussions about how I would be more sexually attracted to you if you “read a book once in a while and brought home a paycheck” had not fallen on deaf ears.
Tyree, I was wrong. You played me for a fool. Keep reading »
Have you ever got a pizza craving so intense that you’re like, “I would totally take four people hostage for several hours in order to get my hands on some pizza right now”? Me too, obviously, but I’ve never acted on it. Yesterday, a man in southern Russia did just that, bursting into a college and barricading himself in a classroom with two students, a teacher, and a janitor. According to a police spokesman, “His only demand was a pizza and Sprite.” Police evacuated the area and delivered the man’s desired meal, at which point he released his hostages unharmed. Just one more piece of evidence that pizza is the most powerful drug of all. [Raw Story]
If you’ve been using the hood of your hoodie as a way to keep your head warm and shield you from the elements, you’ve really been missing out. Because guess what? If you turn your hoodie around, that same old hood transforms into a convenient trough to store your snack foods. Just fill your hood with chips, popcorn, or leftover lasagna, and dip your head down to enjoy a hands-free feast! In related news, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. [Buzzfeed]
I don’t know your name, but I commend you for your effort to be the best airplane seat mate ever. Sure, you took it a bit too far. But the intention was there and that’s what counts. As many of us have experienced, getting trapped on a long flight next to a person who is farting/snoring/talking non-stop is unbearable. More than unbearable, it’s a goddamn nightmare.
When you found yourself sitting next to a hot woman on a five-hour flight through China, you made it your mission to remain seated the entire time so as not to disturb her. And when I say disturb her, I mean that you didn’t want to offend her with your pot belly. In order to do this, you declined to drink any of the complimentary beverages so you wouldn’t have to get up to use the men’s room. You remained seated with your seatbelt securely fastening around your safely hidden paunch for the entire flight, barely moving at all. I’m sure the woman was thrilled to have you as a seat mate. Truly. Keep reading »