Worst case scenario: you donate your kidney to your sick husband only to discover that he cheated on you with your friend while you were recovering from the surgery.
British woman, Samantha Lamb, endured this particularly heinous form of betrayal from her husband Andy. Although Andy denies being unfaithful and claims he was merely helping Samantha’s friend Clare “train her dog” (is that a sexual euphemism?), Clare owned up to the affair and admitted “she was in love” with Andy. So, what did Samantha do? “I cut up his clothes, put them in black bin bags and left them outside the house,” she told TheMirror. Keep reading »
Anyone who’s ever read a Nicholas Sparks sobfest knows that even simple books are capable of eliciting major emotional reactions, but thanks to MIT researchers and a project called “Sensory Fiction,” books might soon be able to make you feel much more than that. Like, really feel it. Their new “wearable book” aims to replicate the feelings and mood of the book for whoever’s reading it. The book itself is lined with lights and sensors, which change based on the atmosphere of whatever scene you’re reading. But it’s the accompanying vest that’s the real game changer: it creates physical sensations to match whatever the character is experiencing on any given page: tightness in the chest, rapid heartbeat, shaking, shivering, heat, cold, etc. Part of me wants to shake my fist in the air and say, “Kids these days! They can’t even conjure their own emotional reactions to books without a computerized vest!” But the other part of me just thinks this is pretty damn cool. [Motherboard]
Meet Depot, the kindly green-eyed kitty who was almost evicted from her home of 13 years last week. See, Depot is a lovable stray who lives inside a Home Depot store in Bluffton, South Carolina. She’s something of a local celebrity and wanders around the store making friends with customers, many of whom bring her treats when they come to shop.
The store’s management had no problem with Depot either, until she recently began unwittingly setting off security alarms in the middle of the night. The company said it was time for Depot to hit the road. Keep reading »
Nashville Opera Company mezzo-soprano Amy Herbst will not be hitting high notes anytime soon. The singer claims that a botched routine episiotomy during childbirth left her unable to perform without farting and well, sometimes pooping herself. Keep reading »
God bless the Swedes and their sensible, sex positive outlook! A middle school principal in Nykoping, Sweden has thrown his support behind a mural inside the school depicting a modern art-style vagina.
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Hanging out in a coffee shop is always a double-edged sword. On the upside, you get to eavesdrop on the conversations of other patrons. On the downside, you get to eavesdrop on the conversations of other patrons. When the people sitting next to you are engaged in an entertaining interaction like, say, a first date, it’s basically free admission to a live, awkward rom com. But if the people are discussing something boring or annoying, for example, the pros and cons of lining your fireplace with Moravian tiles, well, it’s excruciating. Below, the 10 most annoying conversations that I’ve overheard at the coffee shop…within the past hour.
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When your consider the fact that beer-flavored lip gloss, beer-filled donuts, and, ahem, beer-flavored vagina wipes have all been invented, your reaction to beer-flavored jelly beans will probably be something along the lines of, “Seriously? Those didn’t already exist?” But these jelly beans are no novelty or passing fad — they’re the real deal, the result of tons of research. “Beer has been a highly-requested flavor for decades,” proclaims the Jelly Belly website, “and after years of perfecting the formulation, we’re ready to share this new product with the world.” The new product? Draft Beer Jelly Beans. Described as an excellent candy choice for Hefeweizen aficionados, “the effervescent and crisp flavor is packed in a golden jelly bean with an iridescent finish.” I don’t even like beer that much, but I’ve gotta admit that description has my mouth watering. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your outlook), Jelly Belly insists that their beer beans will not — I repeat, will NOT — get you drunk. [Design Taxi]
In what may be the best police report of all time, Pennsylvania State Police Trooper Brad Jordan attempted to describe an incident which transpired on an Armstrong County Township school bus. His exceptionally penned report read:
“Both the victim and the accused were riding school bus. The accused expelled wind from the vulva during coitus while at the back of the bus. The victim began to laugh and chuckled at the accused for her actions. The accused approached the victim and elbowed him in the testicles. Accused was cited for harassment.”
Let me translate for you: An unidentified 18-year-old girl was having sex (hopefully with a boy of legal age) in the back of the school bus, when she queefed very loudly. A 13-year-old goon riding the bus started giggling at the queef (can you blame him?) and the the girl elbowed him in the balls.
The tragic part: She’s 18 and still has to ride the bus. The even more tragic part: She will forever be known as the school bus queefer. [Liberty Unyielding]
A big thank you to Sandra Nabucco, the Brazilian woman who reminds us that our weirdest worst fears can come true. While the 52-year-old was out walking her dog, a porcupine fell off a telephone wire and landed on her head, leaving 200 quills in Nabucco’s scalp. “It was a huge shock. I felt a thud on my head and then felt spines with my hands. The pain was enormous,” she said of the incident. If porcupines are literally falling from the sky now, who’s to say a shark couldn’t jump out of our car while we’re driving or a lion couldn’t randomly appear in the gym steam room right when you drop your towel? Inspired by Mrs. Nabucco’s unlucky plight, here are a few of our weirdly specific phobias that might be more realistic than we thought…. Keep reading »