Today in terrifying parenting: on an upcoming episode of “Untold Stories of the ER,” we hear the tale of a Florida pageant mom who fed her teenage daughter tapeworm eggs to help her lose weight for an upcoming competition. When the girl arrived at the hospital with a bloated stomach and severe pain, the nurses first thought she might be pregnant. An ultrasound didn’t show a baby, but it did show a bizarre growth in her intestines, and a trip to the bathroom revealed a toilet bowl full of wriggly tapeworms. Nurse Maricar Cabral-Osorio told UPI, “some of the worms were very long and wiggling around trying to get out of the toilet bowl.” Gag! The girl’s mother turned white as a sheet. According to Cabral-Osorio, ”The mom was apologizing to the girl. It’s like ‘I’m so sorry. You know, I did it just to make you a little skinnier. You needed some help before we went on to the pageant.” The mom bought a pill of tapeworm eggs in Mexico and forced her to ingest it. The show’s over-the-top reenactment of the scene is actually pretty funny, but I can only hope that in real life the mother faced some kind of legal punishment for endangering her daughter. This is all kinds of screwed up and her parenting doesn’t sound safe for any kid. Excuse me while I vom. [Gawker, UPI] [Image via Shutterstock]
Passing gas is a natural, normal and completely uncontrollable bodily function. So how is it that so many people are arrested in fart-related incidents? Think I’m talking out of my ass? Hardly! Better open a window — here are 10 times the police were called in because someone had the nerve to break wind…
Almost 400 people bought coffee for the customer behind them at a drive-through Starbucks in St. Petersburg, Florida, on Wednesday. That morning, after paying for her own drink, a woman asked to pay for the drink of the customer in the car next in line behind her. That person paid it forward by paying for the person behind them, and the chain of kindness continued until baristas tallied 378 people paying for strangers’ drinks. When each driver arrived at the drive-through window to pay for their orders, barista Vu Nguyen would let them know that the driver in front of them had paid for their drink and asked if they’d like to return the favor. Keep reading »
Well, this stinks. Jessica Annette Cerney was minding her own business, laying on the couch at home in Myrtle Beach, when Darrell Ray McKnight — presumably a friend or acquaintance of Cerney’s who, according to the police report, “routinely” sleeps on the front porch — wandered inside and “passed gas” in Cerney’s face. Cerney bolted outside (that bad?) and McKnight followed her. The pair got into a tussle, with McKnight approaching Cerney in a “threatening manner,” and Cerney punched McKnight in the face three times. Police were called, McKnight was sent to the hospital to be treated for a swollen eye, and both he and Cerney face charges for disorderly conduct.
See, this is why you have to be mindful about where and when you fart, because you could get hurt. My grandmother — RIP Colleen Parry! — was always very cautious, and would back her butt into the corner of a room to “toot.” If only everyone was as respectful. [Death and Taxes]
By day, she is Elise S. Carter. Onstage, she is The Lady Aye, a professional sideshow performer. She can eat and breath fire, lay on a bed of nails, escape from a straightjacket, and is one of the few female sword swallowers in the world (and the only Jewish female sword swallower in America). In this mini documentary by Martyna Sarosta for The Jewish Daily Forward, you can watch The Lady Aye doing part of her act. But just as compelling is the story about how the self-discipline of her highly-skilled act has helped her cope with an eating disorder. Her thoughts on what it means to be “pain-proof” — a sideshow term that means smiling through the pain — carries a certain poetic justice. [Forward]
Remember 16-year-old Ethan Couch? He was that shitbird who killed four people while driving drunk and was only given 10 years probation because he was spoiled by his rich parents. District Judge Jean Boyd nonsensically determined that “affluenza” (that’s when your immune system is drowning in cold, hard cash) made Couch unable to distinguish between right and wrong, so I wonder what her expert opinion would be on the teen’s dad, Fred Couch, who was arrested this week for impersonating a police officer. Is it the smell of money that makes rich people do fucked up and stupid things? Is it the stress of not knowing how to possibly spend it all? Maybe seeing so many zeros on a bank statement causes some sort of temporary personality disorder? Unclear. I look forward to seeing what kind of defense Fred Couch uses and whether the judge in his case is as gullible. [Death and Taxes]