Tag Archives: virginity

Dear Wendy: “Should I Lose My Virginity To The Next Guy Just To Get it Over With?”

I am nearly 20 years old, and I’ve had little experience with the opposite sex. I mean, I’ve hooked up with guys, and I’ve dated a couple of guys for a short period of time, but they ended up breaking it off after about a month. I am quite attractive and have been told so by many people so I have no problem attracting guys to me initially. It’s just keeping them interested that’s the problem. Because of this I am still a virgin. I really want to do it, but I don’t want to have sex with a guy I’ve only known a month because to me sex is something you do with someone you care about, and who cares about you. I have a lot of ideas of why I can’t keep a relationship. I’m pretty insecure (I was bullied a lot when I was younger, and abandoned by friends). I also don’t play hard to get with guys, and I probably spend too much time with them while I’m dating them. I feel like the guys who come after me, come after me mainly for my looks, and then when they get to know me a bit, they suddenly lose interest. They say that I’m a “great girl,” but they are “too busy.” If I were so great, wouldn’t they make time for me? I’m honestly considering just having sex with a guy within the first few weeks before he decides to dump me so at least I’m not a virgin forever. I think that increasing my confidence and not needing the next guy who comes along might help, but what if it doesn’t? I don’t want to end up alone. — Tired of Being a Virgin

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Girl Talk: I Dated A “True Love Waits” Christian

Virginity & Depression
Why do girls get depressed after losing their virginity? Read More »
Losing The V-Card
Losing my virginity was a laugh. Read More »
Dealbreaker
Sorry, but at 26, virginity is a dealbreaker. Read More »

I grew up in a small town. It was in the “heartland”– the middle of the country, yet everyone had twangy Southern accents. The town didn’t have much money or restaurants or people. But we did have churches. Churches in pole-barns, churches whose congregations were made up of only one family, churches in the hills with members who spoke in tongues and fancy churches with stained glass that told you to vote for George Bush.

All through my youth, I probably would have said I was a Christian. It was just the default. My parents did take me to church when I was little, I grabbed from the tin of sugar-cookies and drank dixie cups of watery Kool-Aid, but I had somehow remained a bit feral. Keep reading »

True Story: I Regret The Way I Lost My Virginity

Everyone says your first time should be with someone you love. Well, here’s something “everyone” didn’t tell you: just because you lose it with someone you love doesn’t mean you won’t regret it. I certainly do. While I loved Sam very much, it was not at all the right time. When I look back on it, I don’t have a pleasant memory.

I had a really tumultuous relationship with Sam for about six years on and off at the time, which probably was a red flag to begin with. But I was young and in love, and he was “the one.” The timing with us was always wrong. We’d both be seeing other people, but always gravitated back to each other regardless. We would stay up all night on the phone, bitching to each other about anything and everything.

One night we were talking, and the topic of sex came up. He was curious, I think, if I had slept with someone. I was shocked that Sam would even propose the idea that I would lose it to someone other than him. He was relieved; “Good because I love you, and I want to have that experience with you.” That’s funny because he wasn’t a virgin. He had actually lost it to my ex-best-friend, but that’s a whole other story that we won’t get into now. Read more… Keep reading »

Christian Ladies (Put A Purity Ring On It)


I gotta say, as a non-Christian who practices excessive amounts of pre-marital sex (well, at least before the sabbatical), I kinda like this pro-abstinence take on Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” The lyrics don’t roll off the tongue as easily as in the original, but I gotta give props to these gals for using such a popular song to spread their message. I love a music video with a story line, especially one acted with such skill. Babe. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Beyonce Maybe Suggests Jay-Z Was Her First

“People would be surprised as to the lack of experiences I’ve had. When I was 12, 13 I had my first boyfriend, and he was my boyfriend till I was 17. At that age, that was a long time. I’ve always been very loyal and a little more mature. Though I was too young for it to really be a boyfriend — we didn’t live together, we didn’t, you know … That was my only experience with a guy, and since then I’ve only had one other boyfriend in my life — Jay.”

Beyonce on her dating history in an alleged interview with an unnamed British magazine, according to MediaTakeout.com. If this interview/quote is legit, is Beyonce suggesting Jigga popped her cherry? Sure sounds like it’d be better than my first time. [MediaTakeout.com] Keep reading »

Poll: What Do You Remember Better — Your First Kiss Or Losing Your Virginity?

What Do You Remember Better -- Your First Kiss Or Losing Your Virginity?

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What Is The Evangelical “Stay-At-Home Daughters Movement”?

Weeks ago, we met the evangelical housewives who submit to their husbands. Now let’s meet the evangelical “stay-at-home daughters” — young women who forgo higher education and a career to stay close to their fathers and learn how to be a good homemaker and helper before they are getting married.

Writing in Bitch Magazine, author Gina McGalliard explains how these young women claim all women are much happier submitting to a family-focused life, rather than getting their own careers and jobs. Whether the woman needs “special protection” from her husband or her father, it’s all part of the same “Christian patriarchy movement.” Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Afraid To Tell My New Boyfriend I Practice Abstinence”

I’ve been seeing this guy for a bit now. The only thing we’ve done is kissing (no touching) and I’ve never invited him over to my apartment (for fear of him initiating sexual activities). I like him a lot and I see a potential relationship with him. However, I made a decision to abstain from sexual relationships due to my religion, but also I just don’t think I’m ready to be sexually intimate. I’m not sure if I I’d like to remain abstinent until marriage yet, but I definitely couldn’t be intimate with someone after only a couple of months. I’m afraid that when we finally discuss this he will leave, but at the same time I think there is a need to address it. I’m just not sure how to bring it up or when it would be appropriate. I’m 20 years old and he is 26. I was brought up in a very conservative country and he is more liberal. He recently moved to NYC (four hours away) for a job offer, but he comes back every weekend or so since he still has an apartment here. He has asked me to go visit him next weekend, but I’m afraid about sleeping arrangements so I haven’t said yes. — Not Willing to Give It Up

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Dealbreaker: He’s Saving Himself For Marriage

I sat at the airport, waiting to board Virgin Airlines flight 451 traveling non-stop to my sunny destination … to a friend’s wedding. I exhaled. It had been too long since I had been on a real vacation. All my vacation days seem to be designated to other people’s weddings. In the terminal, I replayed the fantasy I’ve always had that one lucky time in my life I would end up seated next to a hot man on a plane, all the planets would align, and we would join the illustrious Mile-High Club. Maybe I could even take him as my wedding date. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Twenty-Something Virgin” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Twenty-Something Virgin,” the young woman who worried she blew her one chance to get laid when she turned down a friend’s suggestion that they have sex. I suggested she at least give a relationship with the guy a shot — if that was possibly of interest to them both — and see where things went from there. So, is she seeing the guy? Is she still a virgin? Find out all after the jump. Keep reading »

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